The Adventures of Crackzaku and Blowlouch :D

[honored_knight]

Who: Lelouch and Suzaku
Where: their house
When: last day of crazy
Warning: PG-13; Naked Suzaku and gross sticky make-out session that involves hamburgers. Also, Suzaku's a jerkface.
What:  So like this happened and that happened and then it was all over.
--


The whole day started out strange, on the heels of a few strange days. First, Suzaku couldn't find his socks so he wore a pair of leggings. Then, he substituted his regular corn flakes or miso soup with a large slice of cake. By the afternoon, Suzaku felt as if his clothing was too constricting so he took them off piece by piece and wandered into the basement. He sat on the sit-and-spin toy that the city had given to him long ago (he had to dust it off earlier in the week, but he was otherwise pleased) and spun around for an hour without stopping.

Then he spun counter-clockwise and the act became fun all over again. In fact, it was even more fun.

Life couldn't be better.

"You're spinning again?" Lelouch asked, sauntering into the room with a dazed smile on his face. Suzaku really seemed to like using that sit-n-spin lately. It was kind of fun, he had to admit.

Lelouch did not know why Suzaku found it more fun naked, but it didn't really bother him. Not in his current state of ridiculous happiness. He had spent much of the past few days being absurdly happy. Carelessly, insanely filled with a good feeling, to the point where it seemed to melt any rational thoughts away.

Lelouch did not worry about what people thought or what he should do. For the present, he was too busy enjoying himself. And Suzaku seemed to be having fun too...

"I was thinking of eating again. I'm hungry..." Lelouch murmured, perching himself on the side of the treadmill.

"Hmm. Eating sounds good......" Suzaku said, flopping backwards onto the floor and grinning up at Lelouch. He too seemed too out of his own element to really care about the fact that Lelouch was watching him spin in the nude. Any awkwardness that had arisen from Lelouch telling him about their alternate future was far away in the depths of his mind where his sanity was locked up tight.

"What would you like to eat? I want to eat....hamburgers. With chocolate."

Lelouch grinned back at Suzaku when the other flopped over. He was happy as long as Suzaku was happy. Nakedness didn't seem to be an awkward thing at all right now. It was natural anyway, and nothing too shocking between two guys who had shared a locker room at school. Any thought of Buttercup being elsewhere in the house was far from his mind.

"Not a good combination," Lelouch said, shaking his head. "Hamburgers first... then chocolate. Or chocolate and then hamburgers...

"Eating is so nice..." With that Lelouch rose and offered a hand to Suzaku. If he was a little off-balance, he still managed it without falling over.

"Is too. They're both good. So they'd be better....together," Suzaku grappled for the word. He took Lelouch's hand and wobbled for a moment before righting himself.
"No. It'll be just like the time you made me put peas into the ice cream," Lelouch said, speaking about it as if it had happened months ago rather than the scant two days ago that it had. "Pea cream was not a good idea..."

Lelouch wrinkled his nose a little before tugging Suzaku forward. "No more of your ideas."

"It was good. You're just too stuck up. Pea rhymes with 'tea' and they're both green so it's genius to put them in ice cream," Suzaku countered. He lost his balance as Lelouch pulled him forward and bumped into him.

"I'm the cook here... I'll say what's genius or not," Lelouch said, laughing tipsily as Suzaku bumped into him.

He began heading up the stairs, keeping a hold on Suzaku's hand either for balance or to make sure that he did not lose him. Both were potential issues at present. "This place has too many stairs," Lelouch said, pausing for rest at he halfway point. It was less physical fatigue than it was just a momentary lack of desire to make any kind of an effort.

Suzaku nodded and then actually sat down on the stairs, stretching his legs out a little since they had been cramping up a little from being tucked in tightly while he spun.

"Yeah....they should have made.....only three of them. Big ones. Then there'd be less steps."

Lelouch sat down as well, resting his back against the wall. "Three big stairs... that would be so much faster. Just one-two-three and up the stairs." He snapped his fingers and then stared at his hand. Lelouch then snapped them again. The sound was just fascinating.

"You think we'll ever make it up like this? We've got a long way to go..."

"Yeah...not these...." Suzaku paused to count, taking a little longer when he forgot what was after five. "....Fifteen steps. That's ten times as much," he proclaimed, mimicking Lelouch's snapping.

"Hm...I suppose we have to. Otherwise Arthur will eat the curtains and then I can't wear them."

"Fifteen steps isn't ten times as much," Lelouch replied, leaning over to nudge Suzaku with his shoulder lightly. "Your math is funny."

He yawned a little and shook his head. "You're right about Arthur and the curtains, though. I saw him eyeing them the other day... if you want to wear them, we're going to have to get up there."

"You're the one who's funny," Suzaku giggled and then got up to his feet.

"Gotta get those curtains. Tonight's the toga party. Can't go naked..."

Lelouch nodded his head soberly. "That's right. You can't go naked all the time, Suzaku." He stared at the other for a long moment before speaking again.

"You know, you're naked right now... It's like you're a nudist."

"I'm not naked all the time. Just when I spin," Suzaku said, spinning as he hopped up to the top of the stairs with nimble leaps.

"But you're always spinning lately," Lelouch said, laughing as he watched Suzaku spin. He then rose to his feet to follow the other, hopping from step to step on one foot and then the other.

Suzaku laughed boisterously and then waltzed into the living room.

"It's just so much fun. It's my special move!" he said, spinning around. He tripped over Arthur and fell over with a yelp.

Lelouch heard the thump and hurried up the rest of the stairs. He nearly tripped over his own feet as he moved rapidly and then jerked to a stop as he caught sight of Suzaku sprawled on the floor.

"You're on the ground..." Lelouch said, staring down at him.

"Mmhm..." Suzaku groaned, rubbing his head where he had hit it when he fell. He tried to get up but then flopped back over as if he was too lethargic to muster the strength to do so.

"Arthur tripped me so he could have the curtains..."

"Tricky, tricky Arthur..." Lelouch shook his head at the feline disapprovingly.

"Don't worry, Suzaku," he added, sitting down beside him. "I can fix this." Lelouch focused on Bending. In a few seconds, Suzaku was clad in a spectacular toga.

Suzaku gasped as he was suddenly dressed fabulously and he sat up, grinning at Lelouch.

"Thanks, dude," he said, Bending Lelouch a crown of laurels. It seemed to make sense for a toga party.

"Anytime," Lelouch said, reaching up when he felt the crown of laurels appear on his head.

"Hey, you gave me a crown..." He grinned and Bended his own clothing into a toga as well, so that they would both be all nicely dressed for the party. It seemed like as good of a time to change as any.

"It fits you. Bein' Emperor and all," Suzaku explained. His smile widened as Lelouch changed his own clothing and he reached over to feel the toga.

"Wow....you look awesome."

Lelouch smiled and preened a bit, smoothing his hair around the crown of laurels. "It does. Too bad they don't have something for knights to wear at toga parties. Hm... there has to be something..." Lelouch said.

He leaned forward to study Suzaku closely, nearly pressing his nose to the other's arm. Lelouch's eyes glazed over for a moment, but then he Bent a golden cuff around the other's upper arm. "There. That's knightly..."

"Dude..." Suzaku droned when Lelouch just stared at his arm. But then a golden cuff appeared and Suzaku was all smiles again, fascinated by how the accessory caught the light.

"It's pretty..." he said, laughing as Arthur tried to pounce on the spot of light the reflections made.

"You're pretty too," Lelouch replied, smiling for a moment before Arthur's movement caught his eye. He watched the cat chase the reflection, pointing as he jumped onto furniture to try and get it.

"Think he'll follow it everywhere?"

"I think so....maybe except the ceiling. Cats can't climb on there," Suzaku said, leading Arthur up along the couch and then along a bookshelf before guiding him back. He tried to pet Arthur for a job well done but Arthur repaid him with a loving chomp on the hand.

"Only when you throw him up there with Bending," Lelouch said, laughing as he remembered the mess Suzaku had made of the kitchen in the process.

"Arthur is so naughty... He stole my bagel the other day."

"He did? What a scamp," Suzaku said, licking at his wounded hand as if he was a cat himself. He then got to his feet, wobbling around in a haze. He went to check the curtains, smiling to see that Arthur had not taken off with them.

"We should get this party started then before he steals anything else!" he then exclaimed, snapping his fingers as he Bent a disco ball into the ceiling.

"What about the food? I'm still hungry... so hungry..." Lelouch said, putting his hand mournfully on his stomach. He rose to follow Suzaku, staring at the disco ball. His expression was not that far removed from Arthur's when the cat had been chasing the reflection from Suzaku's cuff a moment ago.

"Let's eat before we start the music and the dancing."

"Oh yeah. Food's important. It's fuel so that we can dance," Suzaku replied and then thought.
"You Bend up whatever you'd like...Mr. Fussy Chef," he teased. He wasn't going to let Lelouch make fun of him for making creative dishes.

"I will," Lelouch replied. He gestured grandly at the table as he Bended up two plates of food. There were large hamburgers on each, piled high with bacon, cheese, onions, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, mustard, and ketchup. Lelouch made another elaborate gesture to Bend up a large basket of french fries and two chocolate milkshakes.

"There. Now you have your chocolate and your hamburgers," Lelouch said triumphantly.

"Genius!" Suzaku shouted, sending Arthur running into the next room. He gazed at the set-up in awe and ventured over, sinking his teeth into one of the hamburgers without using his hands.

"Mmm! Deilish!"

Lelouch let out an excited whoop and ran after Suzaku. He was delighted that the other enjoyed his choice of cuisine. Lelouch laughed as he watched Suzaku bite into the burger without even picking it up. He plopped onto the sofa, falling back a little before he righted himself.

Lelouch picked up his own hamburger and ate a bite. He smiled as he chewed it, sinking back against the sofa. "This... is so good..."

"Yeah. Wow....it's...crazy good!" Suzaku declared. Using his teeth, he drew the hamburger up and then took a big chomp when he transferred it to his hands, causing a good portion of the contents to slip and slide. Ketchup and mustard oozed out and plopped onto the floor in a sticky mess.
"Mnnnyurhhh...." Suzaku lazily licked off the trail of condiments from his arm and then resumed eating his burger, making a big mess of the process. It took him a moment to remember just how to swallow so his mouth was covered in ketchup though it was not as nearly bad as the state of his stained hands. He wandered over to Lelouch's side and flopped down onto the sofa as well, wiping his hands on the fabric. He wondered where Buttercup had run off (flown off?) to. He hadn't seen her in days. Yet despite the fact he had not seen her, he wasn't worried. He was feeling too damned good to really care or worry about anything. Things would just work themselves out.

Under normal circumstances, Lelouch would have been scandalized by the way Suzaku was eating his burger, and he would have been very displeased about the mess on his floor, not to mention Suzaku wiping his hands on the sofa. As it was, he also felt too good to care. The hamburger was delicious... so incredibly delicious... All he wanted to do was eat this all day.

"Mm... there you are," Lelouch murmured, smiling as Suzaku sat beside him. He continued eating his burger with a strangely intense focus on the food. The ingredients were speaking to him... singing for him.. so very good...

"Yeah. Oh god, Lelouch. This is just SO GOOD," Suzaku said for the tenth time and then reached over to get at the basket of fries. He dropped a third of it in the process but succeeded.

"One....two.....three thousand....nine eighths...." he counted as he started eating them, dipping them in the ketchup that stuck to the sofa.

"Thank you," Lelouch said, picking up his milkshake and sipping it. It was so chocolaty... just like what Suzaku had wanted. Of course Suzaku had to be happy about it.

He sighed when he saw Suzaku drop so many delicious french fries at once. "They're too far away..." Lelouch said, urging the french fries over to the sofa with telekinesis. He caught the basket just before it fell and made a sound of triumph as he did so. "Gotcha!"

"Bravo!" Suzaku said, clapping his mucky hands together. He then licked off the rest of the goo and then grabbed a fistful of fries. He shoved them all in his mouth and started chewing.

Then he started to choke. He made a distressed sound, trying to cough the fries out.

Lelouch ate a few fries himself, savoring the taste. Why did everything taste so good lately? It was incredible. He was so distracted by the taste of the french fries that he almost missed the fact that Suzaku was choking.

After Suzaku made that sound, however, Lelouch turned in surprise. "You sound like when Arthur has a hairball... What's wrong?

"Mpppfh!" Suzaku choked, pointing at his mouth.

For a moment, Lelouch just frowned. Then, he understood. "Oh... choking..."

Lelouch put down his burger and leaned over to wrap his arms around Suzaku. He thought he remembered how to do this, as hazy as his mind was. "Or I could just Bend away the food if this doesn't work," Lelouch murmured to himself. He then proceeded to give the other the Heimlich maneuver.

The effect was instantaneous . Suzaku spat out the fries which went flying across the room, hitting the television and bookshelves. He caught his breath and then started laughing as if he hadn't been in mortal danger.

"Whoa...did you see how far those went?" he asked excitedly. He then turned to Lelouch and gave him a peck on the cheek.

"Thank you for saving me~~~~~"

"That's the furthest I've ever seen food fly out of someone's mouth," Lelouch said, nodding his head with an amazed look on his face. He was about to suggest that Suzaku enter a contest someday when the other turned to him.

He felt Suzaku's lips brush against his cheek. Lelouch smiled and turned to gaze into the other's eyes. "I'll always save you, Suzaku. Just like a hero coming to the rescue... your best friend coming in at the last moment to save the day..." Lelouch's eyes glazed over as he pictured it to himself, complete with him wearing a full-on superhero costume.

"Super Lelouch..." he murmured to himself.

"Hahaha! Just like in those shows we used to watch when we were kids, huh? You're starin' off into space again. You're thinking about that, huh?" Suzaku asked, resting his forehead on Lelouch's as he stared back at him.

"You look funny this close up..."

"I was... it's like you read my mind..." Lelouch said, staring at Suzaku again once he felt the other's forehead against his own.

"You do too. It's the angle, I think. Not quite right..."

Lelouch then shifted, trying to straighten his neck so that his head was not tilted forward. He did so, but he barely drew his forehead back before straightening his head, leaving their lips very close together. "Mm... this is better..." Lelouch murmured.

"Still looks funny to me...." Suzaku said, trying to readjust but ending up brushing his lips against Lelouch's.

"Oh....sorry," he murmured as if he had just simply bumped elbows with Lelouch. Awkwardness just didn't register to him in the moment and he made no move to move away.

"It's all right..." Lelouch said, reaching out to cup Suzaku's cheek with his hand so that he could help the other adjust his angle. He couldn't think why he should be bothered by Suzaku kissing him at the moment.

"It felt kind of nice, actually."

"Really?" Suzaku asked, staring wide-eyed at Lelouch.

"Yeah... let me show you..."

Lelouch leaned in and pressed his lips to Suzaku's, kissing him softly for a long moment. It felt nice to do this, and he was sure he was not wrong in what he had told Suzaku.

"Mm.." Suzaku started but allowed Lelouch to kiss him, relaxing as he returned it, and the gesture deepened.

"Like that... see...?" Lelouch murmured, drawing back for a breath. "Feels nice..."

"You taste like chocolate shake..." Suzaku whispered and claimed Lelouch's lips again, nearly knocking Lelouch backwards in the process.

"You taste like french fr--" Lelouch did not even finish his sentence before Suzaku had claimed his lips again. He made a low sound and fell back against the sofa, wrapping an arm around Suzaku to keep his balance. He closed his eyes without another thought, enjoying everything he was feeling at the moment. It was just so good...

"Good combination," Suzaku said. At least that was what he would have said if he wasn't busy kissing Lelouch. But as it was, the words came out garbled as he tried to attempt both things at once. He found himself pulled down further and he kissed Lelouch deeply. French fries and chocolate shakes tasted great together.

Lelouch laughed into the kiss in response to Suzaku's garbled words. It tickled a little when the other spoke like that, and it sounded so funny. His laughter faded as Suzaku deepened the kiss, and he kissed the other back heatedly. Lelouch gave no conscious thought to what he was doing save to how good it all felt.

Likewise, Suzaku had no qualms about kissing Lelouch. He mindlessly continued to kiss the other until he ran out of breath and broke it off. He rested his head on Lelouch's shoulder and giggled.

"You're comfy~~~"

Lelouch gasped for breath and then slipped further back onto the sofa, nearly reclining fully now as Suzaku's weight settled more fully atop him. "Comfy... maybe I should charge you rent for living here, then..." Lelouch murmured, absently beginning to play with Suzaku's hair.

"No...first month is free," Suzaku said, purring as Lelouch played with his hair. He reached down to pinch Lelouch's side and grinned.

"Who says that th--" Lelouch let out a surprised yelp and then began to laugh wildly.

"Suzaku... that's naughty..." he said, smacking the other on the posterior. "Behave, or your rent is going to go up."

"Hey! That tingles!" Suzaku protested and pinched Lelouch again. He then wrapped his arms around Lelouch so that Lelouch could not push him off. He wasn't going to pay the extra rent and he wasn't going to get evicted. It was much better to live on top of Lelouch than in the barracks. Maybe not as nice as his old room when he still lived at the shrine but it was nice enough for one person to occupy.

He suddenly sprang up and went to drink his chocolate shake, blowing bubbles into the thick frothy drink. It tasted like chocolate. Chocolate came from cocoa beans. Beans.

"How many beans are in this shake, Lelouch? Can I use it to pay the rent after the first month?" he asked.

Lelouch made another sound of surprise and then laughed. He squirmed when Suzaku held him down, trying to get the other to let him go. "No fair... using your arms like that..." he protested.

Then, Suzaku sat up suddenly. Lelouch blinked and absently watched the other blow bubbles in his milkshake. He was content to lie where he was on the sofa. Oddly enough, he understood exactly what Suzaku meant by his questions. It was one of those strange moments where their addled brains were on the same wavelength, perhaps partly because they were so close.

"Mm... lots of beans... a whole mountain of beans. You can't use the shake for rent, but you can give me some other cocoa beans... so I can make more milkshakes..."

"Hm...is this enough?" Suzaku asked, Bending a large amount of cocoa beans into existence on top of Lelouch.

Lelouch gazed down at the pile of cocoa beans on his stomach and then nodded his head. "I will accept your rent," he said, Bending up a large jar at the center of the table and moving the cocoa beans into it with his mind.

"There. Now the rent jar is all full..." He felt too lazy to move, so he just put the lid on top with his mind as well.

"Good. I'd hate to look for a new place to stay," Suzaku said, finishing his shake and crawling back on top of Lelouch. He let out a contented sigh and smiled lazily at his friend.

"No dancing right now, huh? So full and sleepy now," he yawned.

"Mm... no new places for you. You stay right here..." Lelouch murmured, smiling back at Suzaku and nuzzling against his shoulder.

"I can't dance anyway with you on top of me. Sleep now... dancing later. Toga dancing..."

"Toga toga dancing..." Suzaku echoed, squirming a little on top of Lelouch to prove a point and then put his head on Lelouch's shoulder.

"Good night...." he sleepily though it was still midday and then promptly went to sleep.

"Nighty night..." Lelouch replied, smiling contentedly as he felt Suzaku's body relax atop his. He listened to the other breathing. It was almost like the ocean... so nice and relaxing...

In a matter of minutes, Lelouch was soundly asleep as well. Even with Suzaku's weight pinning him in place, he slept very well.

Hours later, Suzaku opened his eyes. He would sometimes take small naps in the afternoon and wake up in time for dinner since Lelouch would usually cook. Yet he didn't smell or hear anything. Something was very off. His head hurt a little bit and he wondered if he had been drinking earlier. He didn't remember anything and the couch seemed to be rising and falling. He then looked down and his eyes widened as he sprang back immediately. Just why was he on top of Lelouch in such a weird position?! Why were they wearing togas?! And why wasn't he wearing anything under-

He looked around for any clues but nothing matched up to make any sense.

"What in the world...." he muttered to himself, trying to gather his thoughts though the process was hard after a full week of his thoughts being so scrambled and scattered.

Lelouch had slept even longer than Suzaku did. He did not move when Suzaku opened his eyes, lost in a peaceful sleep. Only when Suzaku tensed and jumped back did it get some reaction from Lelouch. He stirred, yawning a little before slowly opening his eyes.

As soon as the light hit his field of vision, the pain followed. Lelouch winced and put a hand to his head. He groaned softly, closing his eyes again quickly. When he heard Suzaku's voice, he slowly opened his eyes, taking care not to make any rapid movement.

"What happened...?" he said, his voice still husky with sleep as Lelouch tried to put together where he was and what he was wearing. None of it immediately made sense.

"I....really don't know...I'm just really sore everywhere and..." Suzaku froze. He hardly remembered a thing over the last week or so and he had forgotten about the fact that he had been spinning for hours so the thought that immediately came to mind made him sick to his stomach. The fact that he wasn't wearing anything under his toga and he woke up on top of Lelouch didn't make the situation look any better. He looked deathly pale for a moment and he got up from the couch, shaking his head.

"This...I don't..." he fumbled for words as he paced for a few seconds and he then went to his own room.

Lelouch stared at Suzaku, the color draining out of his own face slowly in response to Suzaku's answer combined with the other's expression. Something had to be terribly wrong. Lelouch opened his mouth to speak, but no words came to mind. Before he could do more than sit there, Suzaku fled the room entirely.

For a moment, Lelouch sat in silent contemplation of the situation. He looked so upset... and we both feel lousy it seems... Just what happened...?

Lelouch glanced around the room for clues, ignoring his own throbbing headache for the moment. When he caught sight of the half-eaten hamburger and the now warm milkshake on the table, the memories of what had been happening before he had fallen asleep flooded his mind. He could see it all clearly now, the two of them tangled up messily on the sofa. Them kissing and then falling asleep together with Suzaku on top of him...

It was all so wrong, and not how it was supposed to happen at all. Lelouch's expression was nearly as distressed as Suzaku's as he rose to head to his own bedroom, and there was some color in his face. Other memories of the past few days then began to filter back, several of which were also troubling.

Lelouch needed a few moments alone to gather himself and change into something less ridiculous before he started cleaning things up. It had not escaped his notice that the living room was a complete mess.

Suzaku emerged from his room quickly after he heard Lelouch go into his own room. He had Bent himself a backpack full of food and supplies and had changed into more rugged clothing. He hadn't found any evidence of foul play on himself but it did little to dispel his anxiety. He remembered kissing Lelouch and falling asleep and he wasn't sure what he thought. He muttered some words to himself, wondering if he had lost his mind. Just why would he do that?

He had to get away and to clear his mind. Perhaps find a deserted place to scream at the top of his lungs and bury his thoughts in tedious camping tasks. He quickly made his way to the door and left without a word.

In his room, Lelouch changed his clothing and then begun cleaning things up and putting them back in their proper order. He shuddered to think about some of the other messes that were waiting for him around the house, but he would deal with those soon enough. At least it was something of a distraction from his current thoughts, not that it could really stop him from thinking completely. That, as always, was outside of Lelouch's control.

Still, he did a decent job at constraining himself to other subjects as he cleaned. The sound of the front door opening and closing caused him to freeze, the drawer he had been closing with telekinesis slamming shut with more force than he had intended.

Was that Suzaku or Buttercup? If it was the latter, it was probably due to the state things had been in for the past few days, but if it was the former...

Lelouch ran to his window and peered out. There, walking away with a large backpack on his shoulders, was Suzaku. Is he actually... running away? Lelouch stared at him disbelievingly, shaking his head. The whole house was a mess. Actually, everything was a mess... And now, Suzaku was running away from all of it.

Just great, Lelouch thought, sighing to himself. Even after he resumed his cleaning, his thoughts remained utterly agitated. Nothing was going to change that just now.