32nd Adventure [Video]
[The shot opens up to Lara's gym, looking quite empty. However, there is that annoying chittering sound coming from somewhere. It's intermittently loud and obnoxious, and the camera pans around looking for the source until it gets the bright idea to look up, up to the scaffolding hanging 25 feet up from the floor showing a very large spider holding a very slimy book in its fangs and pawing at it with its front legs.
Oh look, there's Lara walking into the entrance, frowning as if in thought.]
I thought I had placed it there but perhaps ...
[She stops, and slowly looks up. Then a scream of frustration and anger that follows only a British woman can make echoes through the room.]
You idiotic waste of space, I need that!
[Oh, sorry Lara it's totes a spider it can't understand you. Or if it can it doesn't act like it. Another guttural thing grunt comes from Lara, and she holds her head in her hands. God, how she hates this thing.]
Do you really want me to come up there?
[The spider stops its forelegs from their attention at the book and waves them tauntingly at Lara. For a spider, that might be the equivalent of "bring it bitch." Lara narrows her eyes into a glare and stretches out her arms and fingers, giving them a good crack.]
All right then.
[Her eyes scan the room for a second before picking a location, two large stone walls jutting out from the wall proper. They're close to touching, about a four foot gap that leaves a space between them like a chimney shoot. Going from 0 to 60 in less than a second, Lara bolts to this gap and jumps onto one side. Before gravity can take a hold, she turns her body and pushes off the wall, leaping towards the other side of the gap. In a series of jumps she climbs the wall until she finally grabs a hold of the top.
Quickly she pulls herself up and looks forward, the closest hurdle being succession of bars. Again she runs and jumps to the first, grabbing it artfully with both hands and using the momentum to swing herself around. Another jump, and again she rotates around the bar before swinging off the the final one, and then the next ledge.
A short climb up a rock wall, and the final obstacle is a column descending from the ceiling. She jumps and wraps her arms and legs around it, although the grip isn't enough. She slips a few inches, her thighs just barely holding onto the end. Sloppy. She pulls herself back up and twists herself around the column, aiming her back to the scaffolding. In a glorious leap she throws herself towards it and barely grabs it with her fingertips. After scooting her hands forward a bit, she pulls herself up and simply stares at the spider. The best part of the whole thing? It took her thirty seconds. It's hard for a spider to show emotion, but if it could the camera would clearly show the "oh shit" it's certainly feeling.]
Book. Now.
[There's a moment of pause, a tense few seconds of "will it or won't it" before the spider hands over the book. Lara happily accepts it before gripping two beams of the scaffolding, swinging her legs back, and kicking the fucking spider off the end. It falls through the air for moments before the sickening SPLAT of hitting the floor and the ooze of greenish substance from under its cracked exoskeleton.
Lara stares down for a moment before plopping herself cross-legged on the scaffolding and opening up the soggy pages.]
Lesson learned, do not take my things.
[The feed cuts out.]
Oh look, there's Lara walking into the entrance, frowning as if in thought.]
I thought I had placed it there but perhaps ...
[She stops, and slowly looks up. Then a scream of frustration and anger that follows only a British woman can make echoes through the room.]
You idiotic waste of space, I need that!
[Oh, sorry Lara it's totes a spider it can't understand you. Or if it can it doesn't act like it. Another guttural thing grunt comes from Lara, and she holds her head in her hands. God, how she hates this thing.]
Do you really want me to come up there?
[The spider stops its forelegs from their attention at the book and waves them tauntingly at Lara. For a spider, that might be the equivalent of "bring it bitch." Lara narrows her eyes into a glare and stretches out her arms and fingers, giving them a good crack.]
All right then.
[Her eyes scan the room for a second before picking a location, two large stone walls jutting out from the wall proper. They're close to touching, about a four foot gap that leaves a space between them like a chimney shoot. Going from 0 to 60 in less than a second, Lara bolts to this gap and jumps onto one side. Before gravity can take a hold, she turns her body and pushes off the wall, leaping towards the other side of the gap. In a series of jumps she climbs the wall until she finally grabs a hold of the top.
Quickly she pulls herself up and looks forward, the closest hurdle being succession of bars. Again she runs and jumps to the first, grabbing it artfully with both hands and using the momentum to swing herself around. Another jump, and again she rotates around the bar before swinging off the the final one, and then the next ledge.
A short climb up a rock wall, and the final obstacle is a column descending from the ceiling. She jumps and wraps her arms and legs around it, although the grip isn't enough. She slips a few inches, her thighs just barely holding onto the end. Sloppy. She pulls herself back up and twists herself around the column, aiming her back to the scaffolding. In a glorious leap she throws herself towards it and barely grabs it with her fingertips. After scooting her hands forward a bit, she pulls herself up and simply stares at the spider. The best part of the whole thing? It took her thirty seconds. It's hard for a spider to show emotion, but if it could the camera would clearly show the "oh shit" it's certainly feeling.]
Book. Now.
[There's a moment of pause, a tense few seconds of "will it or won't it" before the spider hands over the book. Lara happily accepts it before gripping two beams of the scaffolding, swinging her legs back, and kicking the fucking spider off the end. It falls through the air for moments before the sickening SPLAT of hitting the floor and the ooze of greenish substance from under its cracked exoskeleton.
Lara stares down for a moment before plopping herself cross-legged on the scaffolding and opening up the soggy pages.]
Lesson learned, do not take my things.
[The feed cuts out.]