Some Bitchass Oscars Up in this Shit
Alright movie lovers…it’s March, and you know what that means. For the 82nd time, Hollywood will honor the year’s greatest achievements in movies, and take approximately 37 hours to do so. Yep, tonight is Oscar night, but before all the bad jokes, red carpets, and Brangelina sightings, I will continue my tradition of predicting the winners. This is usually a difficult task, as I typically don’t see about 90% of the nominated performances. I’m proud to say that changed this year, as it’s much closer to 95%. But to quote the Best Picture winner from 70 years ago, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” I’m gonna act like I saw these movies whether you like it or not. Onward and upward, friends.
EDITORS NOTE: Most people only care about the big six awards. I’ll save those for last. Don’t worry, there are only a couple hundred categories to get to first. Should only take a few hours or so…
BEST SHORT FILM, LIVE ACTION:
This is a good sign. Unlike the nominees from 2008, most of this year’s titles are in English. Well, except for “Istallet for Abrakadabra”, which I believe translates to “Instead of Abracadabra.” Didn't know anyone was anti-abracadabra, but I’d suggest “Presto”, “Hocus Pocus” or “Shazam”! There’s also a film called “The Door” which is about stealing a door. I know these are tough economic times, but a door? I’d have at least sprung for a window or somethin. My pick to win is “Miracle Fish” because it’s usually a miracle if I eat fish. Like my reasoning so far? Moving on…
BEST SHORT FILM, ANIMATED:
“Partly Cloudy” was the short that played before “UP”. A brief tale about where the storks get babies, it was sweet and funny, with no dialogue necessary, and really was a nice piece of work (as usual) by Pixar. Oh wait. “Partly Cloudy” wasn’t nominated. It has nothing to do with anything in this category. Sorry about that folks, I guess I’ve been wasting your time…not that it ever happens during the Oscar telecast. “La Dama y La Muerte” will say “Hola” to Oscar.
BEST DOCUMENTARY, SHORT SUBJECTS:
This is where I always put in some lame joke about all the short subjects I know. That won’t happen this year. I’m not gonna talk about Gary Coleman, or Danny DeVito, or the majority of girls I know whose names start with the letter “A”. I’m beyond such immaturity. “Krolik po Berlinsku” gets my vote, as it focuses on rabbits that lived in the Berlin Wall. After all, rabbits are short subjects. Well, unless these rabbits look like the one in Donnie Darko…in which case you may want to pick something else.
BEST DOCUMENTARY, FEATURES:
The nominees include films about monks in Burma, Pentagon Papers, Mexican kids, and animal abuse. Then there’s my pick, “Food, Inc.” about the corporate controlled food industry. If there’s one thing Hollywood hates, its evil corporations and their terrible motives influenced only by an unquenchable hunger for power and greed. The world would be a much better place if corporations simply acted like Hollywood…where nobody ever cares about making money. I mean, when was the last time you saw a movie that ignored plot and story in favor of explosions and making millions of dollars. Now if you’ll excuse me, Michael Bay and Roland Emmerich are on the other line…
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM:
I can’t lie. I didn’t watch any of these. I’ve had enough of these here foreigners tryin to take over my country. God dang it, we’re in America, and I only watch films where they speak American! We fought wars so we wouldn’t see these here movies like “Das Weisse Band-Eine Deutsche Kindergeschichte.” If that ain’t Nazi, I don’t know what is!! It's probably one of them propaganda films, but those Hollywood nutjobs won't know the difference, and it wins.
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM:
This is a slam-dunk. I’m sure these are all nice movies, but “UP” soared to majestic heights as one of Pixar’s greatest triumphs. And…considering Pixar’s body of work, that’s no small achievement. It was a fantastic film that was good and smart and…SQUIRREL!.........as I was saying, it was very good and smart indeed. If it doesn’t win, Oscar voters should wear the Cone of Shame.
BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN VISUAL EFFECTS:
Considering how many movies are based totally around special effects, why are there only 3 nominees in this category? And why is one of them not “Zombieland?” On that note, why was “Zombieland” not nominated for 15 Academy Awards? I’d have voted it best picture, Emma Stone for best hot chick, the old lady for “best zombie kill of the week”, not to mention best cameo appearance of all time. While “Avatar” wins here, I’ll be workin on my cardio and making sure to double tap.
BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN SOUND EDITING:
At this point, I’d love to hear some good sound, because I’ll probably be half asleep at this point. Nominees are “Avatar”, “The Hurt Locker”, “Inglorious Basterds”, “Star Trek”, and “UP.” All of this sounds pretty boring at this point. My pick: Avatar.
BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN SOUND MIXING:
One of these days, the Academy will just combine these categories. Seriously, what’s the point? Four of the nominees are the same, except they dropped “UP” in favor of “Transformers 2”, which is like trading Tiffani Amber Thiessen for Rosie O’Donnell. Why Transformers is even within a 500 nominee radius of an Academy Award in any category is beyond my comprehension, considering that a mold-infested chicken sandwich could have made a better movie than Michael Bay and these other no-talent hacks. Take “Avatar” and tell Transformers to take a hike.
BEST ORIGINAL SONG:
Randy Newman is nominated twice in this category, which isn’t surprising, since he just sits around all night and day, singing about what he sees. As Newman’s two songs will cancel each other out, that leaves songs from “Nine”, “Faubourg 36”, and “Crazy Heart.” The Oscar goes to “Crazy Heart” with a song written by T-Bone Burnett, for no other reason than T-Bone is an awesome nickname. Just ask George Costanza, aka Koko the Monkey.
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE:
This is the 3rd straight year that John Williams hasn’t been nominated, leading me to wonder if he really was burned to a crisp by the Empire on Tatooine. Seriously. Have you seen John Williams since that Family Guy episode? Anyway, Avatar will probably win, but I loved the music in “UP” so that’s my pick.
BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN MAKEUP:
Much like special effects, this category only has 3 nominees. Last time I checked, every Hollywood movie uses makeup in one way or another. I mean, you’ve got to ensure an actor’s outward appearance is as fake as his/her personality. Anyway, I’ve never heard of “Il Divo” and “The Young Victoria”, so let’s go with nominee #3: Star Trek. It’s only logical, right Spock?
BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN COSTUME DESIGN:
Still awake? Good, cause we’ve passed the halfway point. Also bad, because I know nothing about costume design, and care even less. My mom tried to get me to watch a show of “Project Runway” this year. The first 3 minutes were great…then the commercials were over and the show started, and it was as enjoyable as a kick in the face. I’m picking “Coco Avant Chanel” because it has to do with a costume designer, and because some folks might see the word “Avant”, think its “Avatar” and vote for that.
BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN ART DIRECTION:
This is definitely the portion of the show where I’m about as useful as Eddie Murphy’s recent career. (Congrats on winning the Razzie for worst actor of the decade btw Eddie). I never was much of an artist, and my drawing skills consisted of doodling those crazy “S” things in middle school. But you can’t spell “Avatar” without A-R-T. Of course, you also can’t spell “The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” without A-R-T either, but that’s a pain in the ass to say, so let’s go with Avatar.
BEST EDITING:
Editors play an integral role in the movie making process. If there were no editors, then scenes would never end. My pick is “The Hurt Locker”, a film that I’m assuming is about an unfortunate small enclosed space that repeatedly gets buried by a pile of smelly t-shirts and shorts. It’s a sad, sad life for such a locker. Trust me, I know. I once had to share a locker with a kid whose finger was permanently entrenched in his nose except when he wiped it on his clothes…which were then stored in that poor wounded locker. That’s a true story from North by God Carolina. None of this is important and for the most part is just a bunch of nonsensical rambling, but it does highlight the need for editors. Don’t you hate a bunch of rambling that never seems to go anywhere or stay on topic? I hate guys who write like that, they just keep going on and on and on and on and on…..
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY:
Oh no! “Das Weisse Band-Eine Deutsche Kindergeschichte” is here again. You gotta watch them Nazis. There’s also a nod for “Harry Potter and the Half-Hearted Nonsense.” For the 6th time to this point, I’m picking Avatar, because everyone’s been in agreement that the film was visually spectacular. They did a fine job of putting a mess of blue folks in a rainforest, and that’s good enough for me.
BEST WRITING, SCREENPLAY BASED ON MATERIAL PREVIOUSLY PRODUCED OR PUBLISHED:
Man, that category’s a mouthful. It’s pretty clear which film wants to win here. “Precious: Based on the Novel Push By Sapphire” reminds everyone that the movie is derived from previously produced material. While I’d love to go with that, my pick is “Up In The Air” by Jason Reitman.
BEST WRITING, SCREENPLAY WRITTEN DIRECTLY FOR THE SCREEN:
This category is loaded. The Coen Brothers battle Quentin Tarantino in a bloody brawl with more F-Bombs than an Insane Clown Posse song. Incidentally, who would win in a fight between The Bride from Kill Bill and Walter Sobchak from Big Lebowski? This of course assumes the battle doesn’t take place on Shomer Shabbos. While you ponder this, and why the hell Tarantino wants to make Kill Bill 3, whoever wrote the screenplay for “The Hurt Locker” takes the Oscar.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:
And now we finally get to something that people care about. Matt Damon was solid in “Invictus”, Christopher Plummer is always good, but clearly this award has to go to Woody Harrelson. That role in “Zombieland” was classic. What’s that? He’s nominated for “The Messenger?!” Well screw that…these Oscar voters are about as useful as a Hostess truck full of Snowballs. They're a bunch of inglorious basterds, which just happens to be the title of the movie Christoph Waltz wins the best supporting actor for.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:
Vera Farmiga and Anna Kendrick are both nominated for Up in the Air. They’ll cancel each other out. Then there’s Penelope Cruz and Maggie Gyllenhaal. Both nice gals, but not this time. Folks, sometimes the Oscar is a real war, and the winner goes to the one who can beat the others up. I expect Mo’Nique could whip these four other nominees every which way possible. They’re just lucky to be women, because in the movie “Beerfest” Mo’Nique threatens to break somebody’s dick off. Yikes. Be careful of your manhood, Oscar. Yes, these are words I never thought I’d say, but here goes…Mo’Nique: Academy Award winner.
BEST ACTOR:
By George! Clooney is probably fine in “Up in the Air” but he won’t win. Same goes for Colin Firth and Jeremy Renner. I thought Morgan Freeman did a terrific job as Nelson Mandela, and wouldn’t be surprised to see him take the statue. However, the pick here is Jeff Bridges. How can you go against The Dude? He’s had a great career and now will get the highest award. It’s like what Lenin said “You look for the person who will benefit, and uh…uh…” I am the walrus.
BEST ACTRESS:
Meryl Streep is nominated for playing famous cooking expert Julia Child. That’s fitting, since Streep has been eating up nominations on a yearly basis for the past 2 or 3 decades. She has a chance to win, as does the talented girl from “Precious” who knows a thing or two about eating herself. I don’t have a clue who Carey Mulligan is, and Helen Mirren had her moment in the sun a couple of yrs ago. Then there’s Sandra Bullock for “The Blind Side.” I’m taking her, because Bullock just won the Razzie for worst actress in “All About Steve.” Having the same actress win the Oscar and the Razzie in the same year is absolutely hilarious, so I hope she wins.
BEST DIRECTOR:
Whoa, no Michael Bay in this category? Stunning. Anyway, unless something weird happens, this comes down to Kathryn Bigelow and James Cameron. Bigelow got rave reviews for directing the unfortunate tale of the injured locker, and Hollywood evidently thinks Cameron is the greatest individual in the history of civilization. Never mind that the story in Avatar was a combo of “Dances with Wolves” and “Ferngully the Last Rainforest.” Of course, the only thing that may have been humping Cameron more than Hollywood was Bigelow, who was married to Cameron back in the early 90s. While I’d prefer to see it be someone else, Cameron’s the pick.
BEST PICTURE:
And finally, after countless bad jokes and random movie references, we come to the final category and the end of this nonsense. As if it wasn’t long enough already, the Academy has increased the # of films from 5 to 10. Yep, we have Avatar, The Blind Side, District 9, An Education, The Hurt Locker, Inglorious Basterds, Precious, A Serious Man, Up, and Up in the Air. Whew. The Best Picture winner often corresponds with whoever wins Best Director. Not this year. While I think Cameron takes the director nod for all the visual achievements, again, I’ve got to consider the lack of original storyline in “Avatar”. Because of that, my pick is “The Hurt Locker.” Get well, Mr. Locker.
That concludes this year’s edition of Kyle Makes Up A Buttload Of Stuff About Movies, 95% Of Which He Hasn’t Seen. Thanks for stopping, and always remember to enjoy the little things.
EDITORS NOTE: Most people only care about the big six awards. I’ll save those for last. Don’t worry, there are only a couple hundred categories to get to first. Should only take a few hours or so…
BEST SHORT FILM, LIVE ACTION:
This is a good sign. Unlike the nominees from 2008, most of this year’s titles are in English. Well, except for “Istallet for Abrakadabra”, which I believe translates to “Instead of Abracadabra.” Didn't know anyone was anti-abracadabra, but I’d suggest “Presto”, “Hocus Pocus” or “Shazam”! There’s also a film called “The Door” which is about stealing a door. I know these are tough economic times, but a door? I’d have at least sprung for a window or somethin. My pick to win is “Miracle Fish” because it’s usually a miracle if I eat fish. Like my reasoning so far? Moving on…
BEST SHORT FILM, ANIMATED:
“Partly Cloudy” was the short that played before “UP”. A brief tale about where the storks get babies, it was sweet and funny, with no dialogue necessary, and really was a nice piece of work (as usual) by Pixar. Oh wait. “Partly Cloudy” wasn’t nominated. It has nothing to do with anything in this category. Sorry about that folks, I guess I’ve been wasting your time…not that it ever happens during the Oscar telecast. “La Dama y La Muerte” will say “Hola” to Oscar.
BEST DOCUMENTARY, SHORT SUBJECTS:
This is where I always put in some lame joke about all the short subjects I know. That won’t happen this year. I’m not gonna talk about Gary Coleman, or Danny DeVito, or the majority of girls I know whose names start with the letter “A”. I’m beyond such immaturity. “Krolik po Berlinsku” gets my vote, as it focuses on rabbits that lived in the Berlin Wall. After all, rabbits are short subjects. Well, unless these rabbits look like the one in Donnie Darko…in which case you may want to pick something else.
BEST DOCUMENTARY, FEATURES:
The nominees include films about monks in Burma, Pentagon Papers, Mexican kids, and animal abuse. Then there’s my pick, “Food, Inc.” about the corporate controlled food industry. If there’s one thing Hollywood hates, its evil corporations and their terrible motives influenced only by an unquenchable hunger for power and greed. The world would be a much better place if corporations simply acted like Hollywood…where nobody ever cares about making money. I mean, when was the last time you saw a movie that ignored plot and story in favor of explosions and making millions of dollars. Now if you’ll excuse me, Michael Bay and Roland Emmerich are on the other line…
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM:
I can’t lie. I didn’t watch any of these. I’ve had enough of these here foreigners tryin to take over my country. God dang it, we’re in America, and I only watch films where they speak American! We fought wars so we wouldn’t see these here movies like “Das Weisse Band-Eine Deutsche Kindergeschichte.” If that ain’t Nazi, I don’t know what is!! It's probably one of them propaganda films, but those Hollywood nutjobs won't know the difference, and it wins.
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM:
This is a slam-dunk. I’m sure these are all nice movies, but “UP” soared to majestic heights as one of Pixar’s greatest triumphs. And…considering Pixar’s body of work, that’s no small achievement. It was a fantastic film that was good and smart and…SQUIRREL!.........as I was saying, it was very good and smart indeed. If it doesn’t win, Oscar voters should wear the Cone of Shame.
BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN VISUAL EFFECTS:
Considering how many movies are based totally around special effects, why are there only 3 nominees in this category? And why is one of them not “Zombieland?” On that note, why was “Zombieland” not nominated for 15 Academy Awards? I’d have voted it best picture, Emma Stone for best hot chick, the old lady for “best zombie kill of the week”, not to mention best cameo appearance of all time. While “Avatar” wins here, I’ll be workin on my cardio and making sure to double tap.
BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN SOUND EDITING:
At this point, I’d love to hear some good sound, because I’ll probably be half asleep at this point. Nominees are “Avatar”, “The Hurt Locker”, “Inglorious Basterds”, “Star Trek”, and “UP.” All of this sounds pretty boring at this point. My pick: Avatar.
BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN SOUND MIXING:
One of these days, the Academy will just combine these categories. Seriously, what’s the point? Four of the nominees are the same, except they dropped “UP” in favor of “Transformers 2”, which is like trading Tiffani Amber Thiessen for Rosie O’Donnell. Why Transformers is even within a 500 nominee radius of an Academy Award in any category is beyond my comprehension, considering that a mold-infested chicken sandwich could have made a better movie than Michael Bay and these other no-talent hacks. Take “Avatar” and tell Transformers to take a hike.
BEST ORIGINAL SONG:
Randy Newman is nominated twice in this category, which isn’t surprising, since he just sits around all night and day, singing about what he sees. As Newman’s two songs will cancel each other out, that leaves songs from “Nine”, “Faubourg 36”, and “Crazy Heart.” The Oscar goes to “Crazy Heart” with a song written by T-Bone Burnett, for no other reason than T-Bone is an awesome nickname. Just ask George Costanza, aka Koko the Monkey.
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE:
This is the 3rd straight year that John Williams hasn’t been nominated, leading me to wonder if he really was burned to a crisp by the Empire on Tatooine. Seriously. Have you seen John Williams since that Family Guy episode? Anyway, Avatar will probably win, but I loved the music in “UP” so that’s my pick.
BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN MAKEUP:
Much like special effects, this category only has 3 nominees. Last time I checked, every Hollywood movie uses makeup in one way or another. I mean, you’ve got to ensure an actor’s outward appearance is as fake as his/her personality. Anyway, I’ve never heard of “Il Divo” and “The Young Victoria”, so let’s go with nominee #3: Star Trek. It’s only logical, right Spock?
BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN COSTUME DESIGN:
Still awake? Good, cause we’ve passed the halfway point. Also bad, because I know nothing about costume design, and care even less. My mom tried to get me to watch a show of “Project Runway” this year. The first 3 minutes were great…then the commercials were over and the show started, and it was as enjoyable as a kick in the face. I’m picking “Coco Avant Chanel” because it has to do with a costume designer, and because some folks might see the word “Avant”, think its “Avatar” and vote for that.
BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN ART DIRECTION:
This is definitely the portion of the show where I’m about as useful as Eddie Murphy’s recent career. (Congrats on winning the Razzie for worst actor of the decade btw Eddie). I never was much of an artist, and my drawing skills consisted of doodling those crazy “S” things in middle school. But you can’t spell “Avatar” without A-R-T. Of course, you also can’t spell “The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” without A-R-T either, but that’s a pain in the ass to say, so let’s go with Avatar.
BEST EDITING:
Editors play an integral role in the movie making process. If there were no editors, then scenes would never end. My pick is “The Hurt Locker”, a film that I’m assuming is about an unfortunate small enclosed space that repeatedly gets buried by a pile of smelly t-shirts and shorts. It’s a sad, sad life for such a locker. Trust me, I know. I once had to share a locker with a kid whose finger was permanently entrenched in his nose except when he wiped it on his clothes…which were then stored in that poor wounded locker. That’s a true story from North by God Carolina. None of this is important and for the most part is just a bunch of nonsensical rambling, but it does highlight the need for editors. Don’t you hate a bunch of rambling that never seems to go anywhere or stay on topic? I hate guys who write like that, they just keep going on and on and on and on and on…..
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY:
Oh no! “Das Weisse Band-Eine Deutsche Kindergeschichte” is here again. You gotta watch them Nazis. There’s also a nod for “Harry Potter and the Half-Hearted Nonsense.” For the 6th time to this point, I’m picking Avatar, because everyone’s been in agreement that the film was visually spectacular. They did a fine job of putting a mess of blue folks in a rainforest, and that’s good enough for me.
BEST WRITING, SCREENPLAY BASED ON MATERIAL PREVIOUSLY PRODUCED OR PUBLISHED:
Man, that category’s a mouthful. It’s pretty clear which film wants to win here. “Precious: Based on the Novel Push By Sapphire” reminds everyone that the movie is derived from previously produced material. While I’d love to go with that, my pick is “Up In The Air” by Jason Reitman.
BEST WRITING, SCREENPLAY WRITTEN DIRECTLY FOR THE SCREEN:
This category is loaded. The Coen Brothers battle Quentin Tarantino in a bloody brawl with more F-Bombs than an Insane Clown Posse song. Incidentally, who would win in a fight between The Bride from Kill Bill and Walter Sobchak from Big Lebowski? This of course assumes the battle doesn’t take place on Shomer Shabbos. While you ponder this, and why the hell Tarantino wants to make Kill Bill 3, whoever wrote the screenplay for “The Hurt Locker” takes the Oscar.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:
And now we finally get to something that people care about. Matt Damon was solid in “Invictus”, Christopher Plummer is always good, but clearly this award has to go to Woody Harrelson. That role in “Zombieland” was classic. What’s that? He’s nominated for “The Messenger?!” Well screw that…these Oscar voters are about as useful as a Hostess truck full of Snowballs. They're a bunch of inglorious basterds, which just happens to be the title of the movie Christoph Waltz wins the best supporting actor for.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:
Vera Farmiga and Anna Kendrick are both nominated for Up in the Air. They’ll cancel each other out. Then there’s Penelope Cruz and Maggie Gyllenhaal. Both nice gals, but not this time. Folks, sometimes the Oscar is a real war, and the winner goes to the one who can beat the others up. I expect Mo’Nique could whip these four other nominees every which way possible. They’re just lucky to be women, because in the movie “Beerfest” Mo’Nique threatens to break somebody’s dick off. Yikes. Be careful of your manhood, Oscar. Yes, these are words I never thought I’d say, but here goes…Mo’Nique: Academy Award winner.
BEST ACTOR:
By George! Clooney is probably fine in “Up in the Air” but he won’t win. Same goes for Colin Firth and Jeremy Renner. I thought Morgan Freeman did a terrific job as Nelson Mandela, and wouldn’t be surprised to see him take the statue. However, the pick here is Jeff Bridges. How can you go against The Dude? He’s had a great career and now will get the highest award. It’s like what Lenin said “You look for the person who will benefit, and uh…uh…” I am the walrus.
BEST ACTRESS:
Meryl Streep is nominated for playing famous cooking expert Julia Child. That’s fitting, since Streep has been eating up nominations on a yearly basis for the past 2 or 3 decades. She has a chance to win, as does the talented girl from “Precious” who knows a thing or two about eating herself. I don’t have a clue who Carey Mulligan is, and Helen Mirren had her moment in the sun a couple of yrs ago. Then there’s Sandra Bullock for “The Blind Side.” I’m taking her, because Bullock just won the Razzie for worst actress in “All About Steve.” Having the same actress win the Oscar and the Razzie in the same year is absolutely hilarious, so I hope she wins.
BEST DIRECTOR:
Whoa, no Michael Bay in this category? Stunning. Anyway, unless something weird happens, this comes down to Kathryn Bigelow and James Cameron. Bigelow got rave reviews for directing the unfortunate tale of the injured locker, and Hollywood evidently thinks Cameron is the greatest individual in the history of civilization. Never mind that the story in Avatar was a combo of “Dances with Wolves” and “Ferngully the Last Rainforest.” Of course, the only thing that may have been humping Cameron more than Hollywood was Bigelow, who was married to Cameron back in the early 90s. While I’d prefer to see it be someone else, Cameron’s the pick.
BEST PICTURE:
And finally, after countless bad jokes and random movie references, we come to the final category and the end of this nonsense. As if it wasn’t long enough already, the Academy has increased the # of films from 5 to 10. Yep, we have Avatar, The Blind Side, District 9, An Education, The Hurt Locker, Inglorious Basterds, Precious, A Serious Man, Up, and Up in the Air. Whew. The Best Picture winner often corresponds with whoever wins Best Director. Not this year. While I think Cameron takes the director nod for all the visual achievements, again, I’ve got to consider the lack of original storyline in “Avatar”. Because of that, my pick is “The Hurt Locker.” Get well, Mr. Locker.
That concludes this year’s edition of Kyle Makes Up A Buttload Of Stuff About Movies, 95% Of Which He Hasn’t Seen. Thanks for stopping, and always remember to enjoy the little things.