(no subject)
FROM JIVER:
if you can, keep smiling, live each day being the unique person you are and always remember you and I are worthwhile products of the universe that nurtures us all.
i dont feel very nurtured.
I feel shat on by everybody. Im finding it harder to cope with even menial things each day.
Things have gone really wrong this year. not just one big thing but lots of things and i went to councelling to help me through, but its making things worse...im remembering things from my past that i had blocked, and now it seems i have more to deal with...i just want to feel normal for a single day. (to only worry about if my nails match my dress)
Im having such a hard time being on my own...i just cant deal with it...ive never felt so desolate and utterly alone in my life...i know i must start from within to make things better but im scared it will be for nothing...by the time ive sorted my self out the people i love the most wont be there for me anyway...
I have no idea where to start even in myself...i dont know where to begin..it all seems so interlinked and messy. i need guidence but no one is there...Ive tried turning inward to sort ME out but im horrified by what i find and so unhappy that its got so bad.
I need support but as i look around i cant see anyone who is there for me...adam has gone to birmingham and my mum and stepdad are in scotland...stuart is there for me but wants more than friendship making what we have a strain...like hes only there so he can gain something...i cant cope on my own and it feels like my chest is about to implode on its self...for the first time in my life i had a panic attack...and 2 more since then...and they get so bad i can bearly breath...
Im ripping apart from the inside out...like mz chest is an imploding black hole...and no one is here to help me...or will witness the awesome destruction of me.
HELP
if you can, keep smiling, live each day being the unique person you are and always remember you and I are worthwhile products of the universe that nurtures us all.
i dont feel very nurtured.
I feel shat on by everybody. Im finding it harder to cope with even menial things each day.
Things have gone really wrong this year. not just one big thing but lots of things and i went to councelling to help me through, but its making things worse...im remembering things from my past that i had blocked, and now it seems i have more to deal with...i just want to feel normal for a single day. (to only worry about if my nails match my dress)
Im having such a hard time being on my own...i just cant deal with it...ive never felt so desolate and utterly alone in my life...i know i must start from within to make things better but im scared it will be for nothing...by the time ive sorted my self out the people i love the most wont be there for me anyway...
I have no idea where to start even in myself...i dont know where to begin..it all seems so interlinked and messy. i need guidence but no one is there...Ive tried turning inward to sort ME out but im horrified by what i find and so unhappy that its got so bad.
I need support but as i look around i cant see anyone who is there for me...adam has gone to birmingham and my mum and stepdad are in scotland...stuart is there for me but wants more than friendship making what we have a strain...like hes only there so he can gain something...i cant cope on my own and it feels like my chest is about to implode on its self...for the first time in my life i had a panic attack...and 2 more since then...and they get so bad i can bearly breath...
Im ripping apart from the inside out...like mz chest is an imploding black hole...and no one is here to help me...or will witness the awesome destruction of me.
HELP