freedom is letting go. so i'm afraid of being held on to.
i never feel so alive as when i am at the beach. i can't wait until it is warm enough to jump in and swim and swim.
last summer, i braved the dark depths alone in the night. right now i have the drastic urge to swim far into the lake without looking back. it's inexplicable and odd. i think it would be freeing.
but it's cold yet, so i jumped from boulder to boulder, skipping across in merriment. i'm sure a childish giggle or two escaped me. i love how the city juts out into the water a bit. i love how nothing is quite as shiny as the ice glazing the rocks. i love how the waves crash freely. i love freedom, and i love when things just feel right and good. do you know what i mean?
i've had the undeniable drive to be alone lately. not in a reclusive or depressive sense (honest!) but i really find peace within my thoughts, within the quiet, within places nobody can hear my strained breath or contented sighs.
i'm finding when i can't be alone for some part of the day or night, i feel nearly suffocated. my breath becomes constricted and my heart races and i want to bolt and run to.. uh... wyoming. the least populated city of wyoming.
i wasn't even all that disappointed when my phone gave out on me a couple days ago.
spastically, i run to the beach, skip upon the rocks, play the piano, run upstairs, write a blog, eat some nachos, go rollerblading, play my violin, read some poetry, make a bracelet, play the piano, write a story, try to sleep, wake from nightmares, make some coffee, listen to minus the bear, clean my apartment.... and work, sometimes.
it's bloody insane. i am bloody insane.
nobody gets me.
so nobody gets me.
so? nobody gets me.
*shrugs*
it's okay, i don't even get me.
last summer, i braved the dark depths alone in the night. right now i have the drastic urge to swim far into the lake without looking back. it's inexplicable and odd. i think it would be freeing.
but it's cold yet, so i jumped from boulder to boulder, skipping across in merriment. i'm sure a childish giggle or two escaped me. i love how the city juts out into the water a bit. i love how nothing is quite as shiny as the ice glazing the rocks. i love how the waves crash freely. i love freedom, and i love when things just feel right and good. do you know what i mean?
i've had the undeniable drive to be alone lately. not in a reclusive or depressive sense (honest!) but i really find peace within my thoughts, within the quiet, within places nobody can hear my strained breath or contented sighs.
i'm finding when i can't be alone for some part of the day or night, i feel nearly suffocated. my breath becomes constricted and my heart races and i want to bolt and run to.. uh... wyoming. the least populated city of wyoming.
i wasn't even all that disappointed when my phone gave out on me a couple days ago.
spastically, i run to the beach, skip upon the rocks, play the piano, run upstairs, write a blog, eat some nachos, go rollerblading, play my violin, read some poetry, make a bracelet, play the piano, write a story, try to sleep, wake from nightmares, make some coffee, listen to minus the bear, clean my apartment.... and work, sometimes.
it's bloody insane. i am bloody insane.
nobody gets me.
so nobody gets me.
so? nobody gets me.
*shrugs*
it's okay, i don't even get me.