Circle Circle Dot Dot

[theviolentpoet]

I'm such a juvenile when it comes to being told what to do. Example: my savings and checking accounts. My savings is essentially my back-up checking account, which tends to go broke because I don't keep track of it much and as aq result get hit with overdraft charges. This is all because it's my passive-aggressive way of saying,"see, this is what happens when you don't let me do it my way." 'My way' being keeping cash around, because cash I can keep track of better than a swipe.

I have a very self-destructive version of passive-aggressiveness; it's typically directed at my parents, who really don't seem to be observant enough to notice. Stetson is a great example. Send me to a school I didn't choose and see what I fail.

I don't know why I'm really more inclined to try and show them something rather than take care of myself. I guess it's because I want to prove to them that they're interfering at this point more than helping. There's a lot of shit I should be able to do on my own that I can't because mommy and daddy take care of it. They just don't want to give up being parents, even if it's to my disservice. And sadly, they don't have a reason to as long as I allow them to.

Fucking vicious circles. Someone always has to break them, and I'm beginning to think it's never the person who initiates them.