When I Feel Pointless
I am wrapped in blankets and sheets, under and on top of pillows, and incredibly comfortable. I start to think about the dream I was having and I am still asleep enough to forget my body exists.
Then I realize I am in bed. Then I realize there is a set time I am supposed to be somewhere. Then I remember there is a set thing I am supposed to do. Then I remember there is a set time that the set thing is to be done.
Then I think of my bed. And my dream. And the world happy to go on outside while I stay in it.
I'm not going to one class today. I'm not prepared. I had plenty of time to prepare, but I didn't.
I am not going to justify this. I am sick of justifying. It doesn't matter.
I am not going to hypothesize on this. It will only be a form of justification.
Monotony is the death of passion. You can do nothing continuously without hating it eventually.
Monotony is much more prevalent than spontinaety. Because monotony and order are the same.
Most, the majority, the top 90 whatever percent, can live with this.
Some can't. I do not want a beautiful family. I do not want a beautiful home. I do not want a respectable job. I do not want to be punished for not wanting these.
Yes. I think of the world as full of idiots. Happy to think life is what they make of it. Unaware that life is in the details. Confusing living with life.
In tragedy, each hero is to have a tragic flaw. Oedipus' was pride. Achilles' had his heel. Willie Loman couldn't stop living in the past.
I can't start something I don't see the end to.
I plan my spontinaety, I stage my reality. Life is a Dream. And it'll only make sense on paper, from someone else's pen.
Then I realize I am in bed. Then I realize there is a set time I am supposed to be somewhere. Then I remember there is a set thing I am supposed to do. Then I remember there is a set time that the set thing is to be done.
Then I think of my bed. And my dream. And the world happy to go on outside while I stay in it.
I'm not going to one class today. I'm not prepared. I had plenty of time to prepare, but I didn't.
I am not going to justify this. I am sick of justifying. It doesn't matter.
I am not going to hypothesize on this. It will only be a form of justification.
Monotony is the death of passion. You can do nothing continuously without hating it eventually.
Monotony is much more prevalent than spontinaety. Because monotony and order are the same.
Most, the majority, the top 90 whatever percent, can live with this.
Some can't. I do not want a beautiful family. I do not want a beautiful home. I do not want a respectable job. I do not want to be punished for not wanting these.
Yes. I think of the world as full of idiots. Happy to think life is what they make of it. Unaware that life is in the details. Confusing living with life.
In tragedy, each hero is to have a tragic flaw. Oedipus' was pride. Achilles' had his heel. Willie Loman couldn't stop living in the past.
I can't start something I don't see the end to.
I plan my spontinaety, I stage my reality. Life is a Dream. And it'll only make sense on paper, from someone else's pen.