Things I've Done Lately That *Do* Involve Nearly Dying
or: HOLY FUCKNUTS BATMAN
I was on my way to the third car boot sale of Sunday morning, and upon attempting to slow down for a roundabout, I discovered that my brakes were feeling...less than co-operative. When you are travelling at 50mph this is really not desirable.
I shot through the roundabout, up a grass verge, down the verge, missed a lamppost by about three feet, and smacked into the central reservation.
It all happened so fast that I didn't even think to try the handbrake. My regular brakes must have had something rather wrong with them, as a witness said my brake lights didn't come on at all and I'm pretty sure I was attempting quite vigorously to stop.
The grass verge, combined with the fact that it was Easter Sunday morning and a normally busy main carriageway was quiet, was what saved me. By the time I hit the barrier my speed had been considerably lessened and the only thing I suffered was shock. No whiplash, no bruises from the seatbelt, nothing.
The car, however, was less than unscathed. The whole front was completely smashed up right through to the engine, which had also been damaged. I was pretty damn surprised when I got out and saw that.
Someone stopped and called the police for me, while I called for a breakdown truck. A police car, which apparently happened to be in the area, arrived within minutes, and I have to say the two officers were very nice. I was breathalysed, which is supposedly standard procedure, and I got to keep the tube as a souvenir. I sat in the police car and we waited for the brakdown truck to arrive and for my mother to come pick me up.
So, that was a pretty shitty way to continue what had started off as a great weekend, and the car is a writeoff. However, at least they were only sweeping bits of glass and metal off the road and not bits of me, I'm potentially lucky to be alive, and completely unmarked on top of that. Maybe I should become an actual superhero, like Bruce Willis in that film where he is unbreakable.
The weirdest part of the whole thing was the crows. At least a dozen of them, gathering around the crash site. They must know from previous experience that accident potentially equals food.
I was on my way to the third car boot sale of Sunday morning, and upon attempting to slow down for a roundabout, I discovered that my brakes were feeling...less than co-operative. When you are travelling at 50mph this is really not desirable.
I shot through the roundabout, up a grass verge, down the verge, missed a lamppost by about three feet, and smacked into the central reservation.
It all happened so fast that I didn't even think to try the handbrake. My regular brakes must have had something rather wrong with them, as a witness said my brake lights didn't come on at all and I'm pretty sure I was attempting quite vigorously to stop.
The grass verge, combined with the fact that it was Easter Sunday morning and a normally busy main carriageway was quiet, was what saved me. By the time I hit the barrier my speed had been considerably lessened and the only thing I suffered was shock. No whiplash, no bruises from the seatbelt, nothing.
The car, however, was less than unscathed. The whole front was completely smashed up right through to the engine, which had also been damaged. I was pretty damn surprised when I got out and saw that.
Someone stopped and called the police for me, while I called for a breakdown truck. A police car, which apparently happened to be in the area, arrived within minutes, and I have to say the two officers were very nice. I was breathalysed, which is supposedly standard procedure, and I got to keep the tube as a souvenir. I sat in the police car and we waited for the brakdown truck to arrive and for my mother to come pick me up.
So, that was a pretty shitty way to continue what had started off as a great weekend, and the car is a writeoff. However, at least they were only sweeping bits of glass and metal off the road and not bits of me, I'm potentially lucky to be alive, and completely unmarked on top of that. Maybe I should become an actual superhero, like Bruce Willis in that film where he is unbreakable.
The weirdest part of the whole thing was the crows. At least a dozen of them, gathering around the crash site. They must know from previous experience that accident potentially equals food.