IT CAME FROM THE THRIFT STORE: GOLDEN KILLAH (1983) ** ½
Chi Kuan-Chun is hired by the famous killer Golden Mask to perform an assassination. He does the deed, only realizing afterwards that he’s just killed his own brother. Kuan-Chun then goes after Golden Mask for revenge.
Thankfully, there’s not a whole lot of plot, just an excuse for Kuan-Chun to get into constant fisticuffs. The action comes fast and furious at the outset. Nearly every scene begins with our hero walking into a place and someone saying he shouldn’t have stepped foot there and a fight ensues. He fights random guys in the road, a monk at a temple, some asshole who keeps stalking him, and a bunch of people in a tea house.
Honestly, I lost track of the fight scenes as they happen just about every five minutes or so during the first half hour of the film. Unfortunately, Golden Killah is unable to keep up that pace once the action switches over to Eagle Palace. It’s here where Golden Mask infiltrates the palace and picks off people one by one. From this point on, the fights occur at a more sporadic pace as it becomes more of a whodunit than an actual Kung Fu picture. They are also sorely lacking the fun of the fights featured earlier in the flick.
At least things get capped off with a solid fight sequence where Kuan-Chun does battle with no less than five Golden Masks sporting dangerous weapons that look like spiked Frisbees. This scene also gives us a little bit of gore as eyes are ripped out and one of the Frisbees lands in one guy’s stomach. If only the second act wasn’t so sluggish, this might’ve been a minor classic.
Still, there are some priceless moments along the way (and again, they are mostly weighted towards the beginning of the film). I loved the part when a guy wearing a golden mask shows up and starts fighting the monk. He asks, “Who are you?”
Golden Mask replies, “Golden Mask!” and they begin fighting.
You know, as if the golden mask didn’t give away who he was or anything.
We also get some great dialogue too. My favorite line being, “That foxy lady? She’s a cruel bitch. Don’t ever go near her!”
AKA: Bad Ninjas Wear Gold. AKA: Golden Mask. AKA: Dragon vs. Dracula.
Next week on It Came from the Thrift Store: Chinese Hercules!