TWO UNDERCOVER ANGELS (1969) *
Jess Franco has made some bad movies in his time. Even die-hard Franco fans like me willingly (perhaps sometimes even gleefully) admit that. If you put all of Franco’s worst films into a barrel, Two Undercover Angels would probably settle pretty damn near the bottom of it.
A photographer lures sexy women to his attic where his werewolf assistant strangles them. The photographer takes pictures of the crime and then paints portraits of the women in the midst of their death throes. Naturally, the photos become a sensation in the art world. No matter how good his art is, the killer still needs to be brought to justice. Enter The Red Lips, a duo of female detectives, who are hired to bring the killer down.
Although the scenes with the artist getting inspiration from watching his werewolf henchman kill his victims is amusing at first, they quickly wear out their welcome. Like the worst of Franco’s nonsensical opuses, two Undercover Angels is boring as hell. Every now and then he’ll try to spice things up with a quick insert shot of a topless nightclub dancer, but it’s not nearly enough to make it all worthwhile. On top of the horrendously slow pacing, the acting is really bad. There’s also a plot twist that was blatantly stolen from A Bucket of Blood.
The sequel, Kiss Me Monster is slightly better, but that’s not saying much.
AKA: Red Lips. AKA: The Case of the Two Beauties. AKA: Sadist Erotica.