seeing red __all_of_me__
Thursday night I spent time with my mother, her boyfriend was pretty much passed out when I got home and surprisingly enough she wasn't so she took the time to ask me what was going on with me. At first I didn't know what the fuck she was talking about, then she got that look I haven't seen in a really long time. Like she cared. She asked me who the girl was. At first I was pissed off because she was suddenly taking an interest in my life. What right did she have to give a shit anyway?
Then I started to open up to her, I didn't tell her it was Tara Mclay, she knew my history with the Mclay family and I wasn't going to have her tell any of her shitty friends that something was going on when it wasn't. But I told her that I found someone I cared about, quickly, I even told her about the one instant that scared me, when I thought the word love.
I closed down quick enough, when she poured herself another drink. We talked for a while, me leading her out of the subject of my love life or lack there of. And finally she was drunk enough to remind me why I don't talk to her. I want to hate her, I want to be able to hate her without the guilt, but I don't, I just feel the rage burning inside and I lock myself in my room with my guitar and don't give a shit about disturbing her lover.
The morning came quick enough, nightmares invaded my dreams but I tried to push them out of my mind and look forward to my date with Tara, my meeting with Tara. Date, that's not what she'd call it I was sure enough of that.
I was out at the bluff by noon, my truck was packed and I'd said my goodbye's, Mae's coffee in my hand I just sat out by a shady tree and wrote for hours, finally I looked at the my watch and realized it was 2:30. Tara was late, I wasn't worried, she wasn't the type to break a promise, 3 O'Clock rolled around and I felt the knot return to my stomach.
3:30 and I got in my truck, something had happened, I knew it in my bones and I had a sickening feeling that it was my fault.
I pulled up to Tara's house and saw that Donnie's truck was there but her father's wasn't. I assumed Beth was around as well as Donnie, that probably wasn't good. The knot in my gut kept twisting harder as I tried to figure out what to do. Did I knock? What the fuck, where was the manual for handling this shit?
Finally I got out of my truck, I couldn't leave without saying goodbye to her, without making sure she was alright. I knocked on the door and stood there like an idiot for a few minutes until the door opened and I was faced with a smug looking Beth Mclay.
"Lindsey McDonald, why am I not surprised, come to pay your whore?" She gave me the once over, she was checking me out and implying Tara was a whore? Stupid cunt.
"Where's Tara?" I asked ignoring her moronic insult.
"She's taken care of, don't worry." I glared at her and tried to calm myself. I didn't hit women, but I wasn't so sure Beth qualified as human let alone female.
"I'd like to see for myself thanks, could you get her?" Beth rolled her eyes and I clenched my fists, having a hard time keeping them at my sides.
"Why do you insist on paying my ugly cousin for something you could get for free if you played your cards right." She leaned on the doorjam in an attempt to be seductive, was she serious?
I heard a crash inside and my senses became alert. Something was wrong, worse than wrong even and then I heard it, a cry that sent a chill down my spine. Without thinking of anything but Tara I yanked open the screendoor, pushed past Beth and towards the noise. I was going to kill that bastard.
When I entered the room I saw red, all it took was seeing Tara's black eye, cowering on the floor and I snapped.
"You motherfucker," I growled and attacked him, hitting him more times than I'd like to count but not nearly as much as he deserved.
"The whore is ..." I felt my eyes sharpen and I hit him one more time, so hard he was knocked out cold. I didn't even want to know what he'd done to her, if I did I'd kill him, so I walked carefully over to her and surveyed the damage, i bit my lip so hard to keep from getting up and slitting Donnie's throat that it bled.
Tara was shocked, scared and pleanty of other emotions I imagined she'd be feeling. "I'm getting you out of here, don't argue," I picked her up carefully, her arms automaticly went around my neck, she was hurt, that much was apparent she was out before I made it to the foyer. I started walking towards the front door and Beth got in my way.
"What the hell are you doing?" She tried to stand firm, "What did you do to Donnie?"
I glared at her again, "Not nearly what he deserves, you are lucky I don't hit women, go upstairs and get pack up as much of her things as you can," she looked defiant and I could tell Tara had passed out already, I wanted to get her out of here fast, "I will amend my policy on hitting women and do far worse to you than Donnie has ever done to her if you don't do what the fuck I tell you to."
Obviously scared Beth hurried up the stairs, I was bluffing, I'd never hit her but she didn't have to know that. Not two minutes later and longer than I wanted her to she came down carrying a suitcase and duffel bag stuffed with clothing. "Did you get any pictures of her mother? Any books she's reading?"
"Like I know ..." She stopped when she really looked at me and ran back upstairs, shortly after she had a backpack full of books and pictures. She didn't even hesitate to follow me carrying Tara's things out to my truck. I carefully put Tara in the passenger seat and shut the door. I looked at the house knowing Donnie would wake up soon enough.
Beth was glaring at me, "You know Beth, you might think you are hot shit, but you aren't. You poor cunt are the town slut that everyone talks about and no one touches anymore because they worry about the diseases you might have. Think about that when your screwing your uncle. If any of you comes near me or Tara again I will kill you, and if you think I'm bluffing on that one then you don't know what love is."
I got into the truck and peeled out of there quickly, I headed towards the highway and realized that I could be arrested for doing this. She could hate me, but I just couldn't care, if she stayed there they'd kill her and not just figuratively either. They'd kill her. She could hate me. I thought about taking her to a hospital but I knew she wouldn't want that; she'd have to explain what happened and I knew from experience that wouldn't be happening I just had to hope she was alright.
Then I started to open up to her, I didn't tell her it was Tara Mclay, she knew my history with the Mclay family and I wasn't going to have her tell any of her shitty friends that something was going on when it wasn't. But I told her that I found someone I cared about, quickly, I even told her about the one instant that scared me, when I thought the word love.
I closed down quick enough, when she poured herself another drink. We talked for a while, me leading her out of the subject of my love life or lack there of. And finally she was drunk enough to remind me why I don't talk to her. I want to hate her, I want to be able to hate her without the guilt, but I don't, I just feel the rage burning inside and I lock myself in my room with my guitar and don't give a shit about disturbing her lover.
The morning came quick enough, nightmares invaded my dreams but I tried to push them out of my mind and look forward to my date with Tara, my meeting with Tara. Date, that's not what she'd call it I was sure enough of that.
I was out at the bluff by noon, my truck was packed and I'd said my goodbye's, Mae's coffee in my hand I just sat out by a shady tree and wrote for hours, finally I looked at the my watch and realized it was 2:30. Tara was late, I wasn't worried, she wasn't the type to break a promise, 3 O'Clock rolled around and I felt the knot return to my stomach.
3:30 and I got in my truck, something had happened, I knew it in my bones and I had a sickening feeling that it was my fault.
I pulled up to Tara's house and saw that Donnie's truck was there but her father's wasn't. I assumed Beth was around as well as Donnie, that probably wasn't good. The knot in my gut kept twisting harder as I tried to figure out what to do. Did I knock? What the fuck, where was the manual for handling this shit?
Finally I got out of my truck, I couldn't leave without saying goodbye to her, without making sure she was alright. I knocked on the door and stood there like an idiot for a few minutes until the door opened and I was faced with a smug looking Beth Mclay.
"Lindsey McDonald, why am I not surprised, come to pay your whore?" She gave me the once over, she was checking me out and implying Tara was a whore? Stupid cunt.
"Where's Tara?" I asked ignoring her moronic insult.
"She's taken care of, don't worry." I glared at her and tried to calm myself. I didn't hit women, but I wasn't so sure Beth qualified as human let alone female.
"I'd like to see for myself thanks, could you get her?" Beth rolled her eyes and I clenched my fists, having a hard time keeping them at my sides.
"Why do you insist on paying my ugly cousin for something you could get for free if you played your cards right." She leaned on the doorjam in an attempt to be seductive, was she serious?
I heard a crash inside and my senses became alert. Something was wrong, worse than wrong even and then I heard it, a cry that sent a chill down my spine. Without thinking of anything but Tara I yanked open the screendoor, pushed past Beth and towards the noise. I was going to kill that bastard.
When I entered the room I saw red, all it took was seeing Tara's black eye, cowering on the floor and I snapped.
"You motherfucker," I growled and attacked him, hitting him more times than I'd like to count but not nearly as much as he deserved.
"The whore is ..." I felt my eyes sharpen and I hit him one more time, so hard he was knocked out cold. I didn't even want to know what he'd done to her, if I did I'd kill him, so I walked carefully over to her and surveyed the damage, i bit my lip so hard to keep from getting up and slitting Donnie's throat that it bled.
Tara was shocked, scared and pleanty of other emotions I imagined she'd be feeling. "I'm getting you out of here, don't argue," I picked her up carefully, her arms automaticly went around my neck, she was hurt, that much was apparent she was out before I made it to the foyer. I started walking towards the front door and Beth got in my way.
"What the hell are you doing?" She tried to stand firm, "What did you do to Donnie?"
I glared at her again, "Not nearly what he deserves, you are lucky I don't hit women, go upstairs and get pack up as much of her things as you can," she looked defiant and I could tell Tara had passed out already, I wanted to get her out of here fast, "I will amend my policy on hitting women and do far worse to you than Donnie has ever done to her if you don't do what the fuck I tell you to."
Obviously scared Beth hurried up the stairs, I was bluffing, I'd never hit her but she didn't have to know that. Not two minutes later and longer than I wanted her to she came down carrying a suitcase and duffel bag stuffed with clothing. "Did you get any pictures of her mother? Any books she's reading?"
"Like I know ..." She stopped when she really looked at me and ran back upstairs, shortly after she had a backpack full of books and pictures. She didn't even hesitate to follow me carrying Tara's things out to my truck. I carefully put Tara in the passenger seat and shut the door. I looked at the house knowing Donnie would wake up soon enough.
Beth was glaring at me, "You know Beth, you might think you are hot shit, but you aren't. You poor cunt are the town slut that everyone talks about and no one touches anymore because they worry about the diseases you might have. Think about that when your screwing your uncle. If any of you comes near me or Tara again I will kill you, and if you think I'm bluffing on that one then you don't know what love is."
I got into the truck and peeled out of there quickly, I headed towards the highway and realized that I could be arrested for doing this. She could hate me, but I just couldn't care, if she stayed there they'd kill her and not just figuratively either. They'd kill her. She could hate me. I thought about taking her to a hospital but I knew she wouldn't want that; she'd have to explain what happened and I knew from experience that wouldn't be happening I just had to hope she was alright.