for the record

[theupwardbird]

it really
aggravates
me
beyond words
to
wake up
content
and
happy
and
walk out
of my room
to
find
cat
vomit
piss
shit.

which i clean.

this is
every
single
morning.

this is
when
i
come
home
from
school
work
other.

the house smells like
shit
and
is
always dirty.

the more i clean
the
more
cat
vomit
piss
shit
appears.

these are not my cats!

i like cats.
but
i
am
really
starting
to
hate
them.

i am starting
to
hate
my
house.

i am
pissed
because
it
feels
so
cold
all
the
time.
not
just
the
temperature.

i didn't even
want
to
live in this
house.
i wanted the other house
with
huge
windows
and
high
ceilings.
toby wanted
that house
too.
but
max wanted
this one
and
bitched
and
moaned
because aaron
needed
his
own
room.

for fucking what?

both of them are
gone
95 percent of the
month.
both of their rooms
aren't
even
unpacked!
we
moved in
fucking months
ago.

i want out.
i want to feel at peace
when
i
am
home
and
i am
really tired
of
not feeling
at
home
in my house.

but
this
new
music
excites me.

and
it
is
good.