Don't close your eyes.
This is your life,
are you who you want to be?
Is it everything you dreamed it that it would be
When the world was younger, and you had everything to lose?
"Its been a long time getting to this point, going off to college and everything. Perhaps I am being a little overdramatic. Im only going to be 2 hours away, right? But none of my other friends are moving away. And Im not going to be coming back all that much often. I feel like perhaps its the end of an era. And the start of a new. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end, right? Or thats what the song says anyway. So what am I? Who am I? I love that quote that I posted earlier What you were and what you will be does not matter. What you are is all that matters. People change and will change. You can excuse what you were, and vow to become something better. But here and now is where we are, and what matters is the type of person you are now. Tomorrow might not be there.
My one goal for life, the one thing I want to look back and know that I've fulfilled is to have mattered, and not have my life be wasted.I dont know where I am going or what I'll find when I get there, but I know I have just as good a chance as anyone else to succeed in life. I am who I am because of the wonderful love of my friends and family. They have shaped me and taught me all I need to know to go out in the world and give something back. And now all thats left to do is to go. But they are the reason why. "
This is the first and last paragraph of a post I made 1 year ago tomorrow. Right before I was about to leave for Auburn the first time. Every bit of it came true. And every bit of it is still true.
I find myself in some of the same situations as then. I went out with some of the same friends to see AVP, an entertaining movie with a crappy plot but great special effects. One year ago I went to see Freddy vs Jason. I dont know. Maybe its just me, but it feels weird.
I am going to be crazy busy the next two days. A number of people to say goodbye to. One very special person tomorrow night. But right now is what matters.
And there's something going on in my mind that I cant wrap my mind around. I went through some tough times the past few weeks, faith-wise. Not that I lost it, but it was slipping. It was hard for me to take a step out on blind faith. At the beginning of the summer it wasnt because I had nothing. Now that I have everything, leaving it behind to go where God calls me is tough, and I had my doubts. But the people around me held me together, and once again surrendering it to Him with full confidence and faith has eased my mind. But thats not what bugs me. I feel like I am in the completely same situation I was in one year ago, but as a different person. There are so many ways they are similar, that I feel like its some sort of cosmic joke.
I am sorry I couldn't help you. Maybe I can't. Ever. We'll see I guess.
i'm everything you've wanted
i am the one who's haunting you
i am the eyes inside of you
stare back at you
there's nothing left to lose
there's nothing left to prove
surrender your love
thats all you can do
He is knocking at your door. Can't you hear Him? Why do you reject someone who loves you so?
its time to redefine
your deophobic mind
don't hesitate
no escape
from secrets on the inside
Thats all I have for tonight. Almost done. Tomorrow.
Thank you, Father. Thank you so very much.
So be it.
are you who you want to be?
Is it everything you dreamed it that it would be
When the world was younger, and you had everything to lose?
"Its been a long time getting to this point, going off to college and everything. Perhaps I am being a little overdramatic. Im only going to be 2 hours away, right? But none of my other friends are moving away. And Im not going to be coming back all that much often. I feel like perhaps its the end of an era. And the start of a new. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end, right? Or thats what the song says anyway. So what am I? Who am I? I love that quote that I posted earlier What you were and what you will be does not matter. What you are is all that matters. People change and will change. You can excuse what you were, and vow to become something better. But here and now is where we are, and what matters is the type of person you are now. Tomorrow might not be there.
My one goal for life, the one thing I want to look back and know that I've fulfilled is to have mattered, and not have my life be wasted.I dont know where I am going or what I'll find when I get there, but I know I have just as good a chance as anyone else to succeed in life. I am who I am because of the wonderful love of my friends and family. They have shaped me and taught me all I need to know to go out in the world and give something back. And now all thats left to do is to go. But they are the reason why. "
This is the first and last paragraph of a post I made 1 year ago tomorrow. Right before I was about to leave for Auburn the first time. Every bit of it came true. And every bit of it is still true.
I find myself in some of the same situations as then. I went out with some of the same friends to see AVP, an entertaining movie with a crappy plot but great special effects. One year ago I went to see Freddy vs Jason. I dont know. Maybe its just me, but it feels weird.
I am going to be crazy busy the next two days. A number of people to say goodbye to. One very special person tomorrow night. But right now is what matters.
And there's something going on in my mind that I cant wrap my mind around. I went through some tough times the past few weeks, faith-wise. Not that I lost it, but it was slipping. It was hard for me to take a step out on blind faith. At the beginning of the summer it wasnt because I had nothing. Now that I have everything, leaving it behind to go where God calls me is tough, and I had my doubts. But the people around me held me together, and once again surrendering it to Him with full confidence and faith has eased my mind. But thats not what bugs me. I feel like I am in the completely same situation I was in one year ago, but as a different person. There are so many ways they are similar, that I feel like its some sort of cosmic joke.
I am sorry I couldn't help you. Maybe I can't. Ever. We'll see I guess.
i'm everything you've wanted
i am the one who's haunting you
i am the eyes inside of you
stare back at you
there's nothing left to lose
there's nothing left to prove
surrender your love
thats all you can do
He is knocking at your door. Can't you hear Him? Why do you reject someone who loves you so?
its time to redefine
your deophobic mind
don't hesitate
no escape
from secrets on the inside
Thats all I have for tonight. Almost done. Tomorrow.
Thank you, Father. Thank you so very much.
So be it.