Ughhhh

[theun4givables]

I have two in-person interviews next week. I've had enough phone calls that I've been shit at following up on all of them, but I have been getting a steady stream of them now for shit I've applied for back in like..august

Comments

[n3m3sis43]

I know you don't like talking about any of this, and... idk, I'm glad you're trying to anyway <3

This situation is such bullshit, all of it. And how fucking dare she ditch out on her time with Bob right after she shorted you money for his care -- not to mention having the nerve to try and dictate how the visitation schedule went going forward instead of going with your suggestion. Fuckkkkk her.

You are gonna make bills, because you are gonna talk to Chris and redefine what "bills" mean. His piece of shit spawn did this, and he's well aware -- more so than you'd probably like after that shit she pulled last spring -- of exactly what she's like.

The thing is, an agreement like that with Chris is only gonna work if you can also reframe it in your head so it's not "shorting Chris." If he agrees to take less until you have some sort of legal agreement (or things change with Nick's job AND he and Amber are actually paying you more per month, consistently, if that's sooner) -- then you're not shorting him. You're paying him what you're supposed to, as per your (temporary) new agreement. Which means it's perfectly okay to spend money on your kid's holiday gifts, the things you NEED in order to be healthy and functional, and even occasional things you just want. Which, to be fair, it'd be okay to do even if you were legit shorting him.

Also? You're not "being shitty" about getting the lawyer. You're tired and scared and it's hard to deal with. It doesn't mean you don't have to do it, tho <3 And I agree with you -- I don't think addressing this without a lawyer is an option anymore. But I know this is super hard for you, bb

And ftr you are totally allowed to be petty afffff

[theun4givables]

You misunderstood what I meant by being shitty -- I just meant that I've been dragging my feet / failing to follow through with it, you goof xD.

And yeah, I need to reframe that in my head but it's harddd because it's been three years and I've only had to "short" him once prior to this whole nonsense last month.

ughhh I need a nap and I don't leave here for another 3.5 hourssss ughhhhh

[n3m3sis43]

Nah, that's more or less what I thought you meant. But, like... you wouldn't let me get away with it if I said I "failed" at writing, even if I wasn't upset about it, because you know I have crazy surrounding that. And you've told me you have baggage about not doing enough (and/or not meeting my standards), so I feel like equating procrastination and being shitty is, like, unproductive? Idk.

Also, you're the goof. :-p

I know it's hard. <3 But panicking every month or beating yourself up because you're "shorting" Chris or depriving yourself of things you need and deserve -- those are also all hard. They come more naturally to you, but they certainly aren't pleasant or easy.

[theun4givables]

<3 <3 <3 This is fair, yeah. I keep forgetting I do have all of that bullshit when I'm talking about my own progress in shit.

I am notttt you areeee <3

<3 <3 <3 yeah