Seize the Day - NaNoWriMo Attempt - Chapter 14

[theun4givables]

Hit 40k today. I don't think I'll be writing much more, and I have like.. 3 more chapters to post. I'll post a second one later today, and another two tomorrow. I'd rather not flood my flist. :)
Previous Chapters:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13Jazz cleared his throat, taking his time as he stood in front of his father’s

Comments

[alien_writings]

Both Hajime and Mitchel are such pleasant people, aren't they? I think I asked you once how those two would get along, should they ever have reason to interact. How would they get along? Now I'm thinking of a Truly Random and Goofy Fanfic Idea -- namely, what would happen if Savin and Mitchel were going out and Mitchel had to do the "meet the parents" thing, lol.

Hearing Mitchel talk about the Resistance and push for dealing with it was interesting because of what I know about his involvement in it, heh.

Savin and Jazz running into Hajime? That had to be awkward, and oh dear Savin's busted, isn't he?

Uh-oh with the "pain is psychosomatic" possibility -- does that mean the addiction subplot is happening? Does Casio really think he's in pain or is he just saying he's in pain in order to get painkillers? Or is it some combination of both, where a desire for painkillers is subconsciously making him think he's in pain?

This has little to do with anything, but I accidentally typed "Savin" as "Saving" once, haha.

[theun4givables]

Oh my god, I want to write that fic now, with Savin bringing Mitchel home to meet the parents. Oh. My. Fucking. God. That would be hilarious and downright awkward and nnnnggg I need this fic in my life. xD

He is very good at putting up a front of caring about the success of the Empire, no? I have to be careful, though -- him being involved is supposed to be like this big, huge, super-reveal in book 2, so I don't wanna sledgehammer the foreshadowing too, too much, y'know?

Oh,it was definitely awkward. Yes, Savin is busted (the next scene is exactly that, him being busted). And yes, I think the subplot is happening, definitely, now. I think he thinks he's in pain, when it's really all in his head, as a means of seeking out more drugs.

[alien_writings]

I agree foreshadowing is one of those things where you have to tread carefully so it's not too obvious. It can be difficult to do right, at least when I've tried it. I think you're okay so far, but I do already know that Mitchel's part of the Resistance, so it might be harder for me to tell what's properly subtle and what isn't. In my NaNo story this year, I actually put in some foreshadowing and am hoping it's not too obvious to people who don't know the plot.

Also, yes, Mitchel is quite good at putting up a front of caring about the Empire. Speaking of Mitchel, you need to do that "meeting the parents" fic when you have a chance because OMG it would be an amazing giant ball of awkward and hilarious.