zee ckoop

[theun]

okay so i have this fabulouso boyfriend...i adore him and his family and everything completely.

i had a panic attack about having a boyfriend on the way to work today.

we've been dating 2 weeks.

...

i'm completely inlove with my boy in portland.
who might be moving up here...
yeah...
i really want him to move up here...
i am absolutely in love with him. 100%.
for years.
YEARS.
what zee foook.

i really don't want to fuck shit up. i've been here before...and fucked shit up...royally.
gene is...amazing...i adore him..i can see a beautiful, totally yuppie future with him, unless i can sway him otherwise...
geoff...fuck...
fuck...so, completely disfunctionally perfect for eachother it's rediculous....
i
love
geoff.

my friends are keeping me good, that and the fact gene's awesome. but...oh god...please don't let me fuck things up for something that isn't going to be more than a lover in the same city...please oh please...

i think by the time geoff comes to visit we should have things worked out to some kind of something...and if it not a lotr or starwars wedding then, i don't know.

panic attack.

i don't date.
my friends KNOW i'm not that kind of person
hugah!
am i just afraid of a "good thing" and commitment? i nono...but...

we'll see.

it's too much.