The Other Science
Yesterday my new roommate Amanda sat down at the table with her whozits when suddenly Dallin exclaimed, "Auww, gross!"
"What?" I asked, looking up from my shabangerang.
"You were just picking your nose!" Dallin accused, extending his arm and pointed finger at Amanda.
"I was not. I had an itch," a smaller defensive voice cried from my right.
"No, there was totally some knuckle action in there."
"What's wrong with picking your nose?" I asked while thinking, Why is there so much yelling in this house? Why am I always sitting in the middle of the voices. How did Amanda get so many whozits?
"Yeah," piped in Gary, who had been sitting across from me, tending to his hibobble. "Did you know boogers are probiotic?"
WTF?
"Really?" I asked.
"Yeah," he said beginning to speak with an urgency, as if we mustn't waste time employing the information he was about to display. "They're totally probiotic and they're salty so that we'll eat them!"
"What? That doesn't make any sense," said Dallin forgetting Amanda and her delicious snot-frosted knuckles. "I mean, if that were true then... like, yeah, okay, and semen is salty so that people will eat it too!"
Only in this house.
"No, I was reading about it recently," Gary continued.
"And semen's not really salty," I added.
"That's not the point," Dallin had begun to jump around like an angry monkey or a drop of water on a hot skillet. "I mean, Gary, if that were true then should also eat sweat and tears and saliva and earwax." Earwax?
My exit strategy at this moment involved the bathroom, but, having nothing to do in there, I returned, grabbed my shabangerang, ascended my loft and googled "probiotic mucus", of which we apparently have a lot in our intestines. I read that probiotics are also used to treat nasal congestion.
Eventually, I came across this: "Lysozyme is a natural antimicrobial polypeptide found in a number of organs or body fluids of humans and animals, and even of plants... lysozyme has an antimicrobial action on gram-positive bacteria. Amongst this group of bacteria, Bacillus cereus is sensitive to the inhibitory action of lysozyme."
So, it's an enzyme and not a bacteria... but it does chomp up bacteria. Thus, Gary = 1pt for being partially correct. Dallin = 1pt who, in being facetious, was also partially correct. Amanda = 1 pt for taking the first step in what I hope is a long life of snot savoring. Leah = -2pts for the amount of time lost researching and blogging about this.
"What?" I asked, looking up from my shabangerang.
"You were just picking your nose!" Dallin accused, extending his arm and pointed finger at Amanda.
"I was not. I had an itch," a smaller defensive voice cried from my right.
"No, there was totally some knuckle action in there."
"What's wrong with picking your nose?" I asked while thinking, Why is there so much yelling in this house? Why am I always sitting in the middle of the voices. How did Amanda get so many whozits?
"Yeah," piped in Gary, who had been sitting across from me, tending to his hibobble. "Did you know boogers are probiotic?"
WTF?
"Really?" I asked.
"Yeah," he said beginning to speak with an urgency, as if we mustn't waste time employing the information he was about to display. "They're totally probiotic and they're salty so that we'll eat them!"
"What? That doesn't make any sense," said Dallin forgetting Amanda and her delicious snot-frosted knuckles. "I mean, if that were true then... like, yeah, okay, and semen is salty so that people will eat it too!"
Only in this house.
"No, I was reading about it recently," Gary continued.
"And semen's not really salty," I added.
"That's not the point," Dallin had begun to jump around like an angry monkey or a drop of water on a hot skillet. "I mean, Gary, if that were true then should also eat sweat and tears and saliva and earwax." Earwax?
My exit strategy at this moment involved the bathroom, but, having nothing to do in there, I returned, grabbed my shabangerang, ascended my loft and googled "probiotic mucus", of which we apparently have a lot in our intestines. I read that probiotics are also used to treat nasal congestion.
Eventually, I came across this: "Lysozyme is a natural antimicrobial polypeptide found in a number of organs or body fluids of humans and animals, and even of plants... lysozyme has an antimicrobial action on gram-positive bacteria. Amongst this group of bacteria, Bacillus cereus is sensitive to the inhibitory action of lysozyme."
So, it's an enzyme and not a bacteria... but it does chomp up bacteria. Thus, Gary = 1pt for being partially correct. Dallin = 1pt who, in being facetious, was also partially correct. Amanda = 1 pt for taking the first step in what I hope is a long life of snot savoring. Leah = -2pts for the amount of time lost researching and blogging about this.