Last night.
So it's my last night of really living in this house. I'm sure I'll stay here many times again, but it's not my residence as of tomorrow at 9 am. I'll be back for breaks and summer, but still...
I have been in this house, in THIS ROOM since I was born. Tallahassee Community Hospital. Almost 18 years ago. I've never lived anywhere else but here on the corner. I had a crib in this room, and then this bed...I've had a pink room and a lavender room, I've been little and I've been big. I learned to walk and talk here. I used to bang on the wall to get Cameron to turn his music down, or quit bashing around in the closet, or WHATEVER. I've been waiting for this night for so long.
And it's bittersweet, indeed.
I was really looking forward to this for the past week, because I was having so much trouble with Eric being gone. But now, I just want to curl up in a ball on the couch and stay there forever. I'm fucking scared.
I still feel like I'm in third grade, with a crooked, snaggletooth smile and short blonde hair, running around in the outfit my grandmother bought me for my birthday. I feel like I have to go to gifted, and finish my spelling test, and listen to Mrs. Green read us a story, and be a gigglebox with Micah Weisman (whose genitals I have now seen and wish I hadn't).
Eric told me he'd call me tonight (at least I think he did) but he hasn't and I really need him. I would have written this stuff in my book but it's in the car down by the dorm. We left some stuff there overnight.
Now I have to be on my own. And I know it's gonna be weird for Mary Kate, too...so we'll have that to bond over.
I miss Eric. I get to see him in almost exactly two weeks. (From about 40 minutes from now.)
This is sad.
I have been in this house, in THIS ROOM since I was born. Tallahassee Community Hospital. Almost 18 years ago. I've never lived anywhere else but here on the corner. I had a crib in this room, and then this bed...I've had a pink room and a lavender room, I've been little and I've been big. I learned to walk and talk here. I used to bang on the wall to get Cameron to turn his music down, or quit bashing around in the closet, or WHATEVER. I've been waiting for this night for so long.
And it's bittersweet, indeed.
I was really looking forward to this for the past week, because I was having so much trouble with Eric being gone. But now, I just want to curl up in a ball on the couch and stay there forever. I'm fucking scared.
I still feel like I'm in third grade, with a crooked, snaggletooth smile and short blonde hair, running around in the outfit my grandmother bought me for my birthday. I feel like I have to go to gifted, and finish my spelling test, and listen to Mrs. Green read us a story, and be a gigglebox with Micah Weisman (whose genitals I have now seen and wish I hadn't).
Eric told me he'd call me tonight (at least I think he did) but he hasn't and I really need him. I would have written this stuff in my book but it's in the car down by the dorm. We left some stuff there overnight.
Now I have to be on my own. And I know it's gonna be weird for Mary Kate, too...so we'll have that to bond over.
I miss Eric. I get to see him in almost exactly two weeks. (From about 40 minutes from now.)
This is sad.