fanmix, harry potter: an ending that fits (remus/tonks)
Title: An Ending That Fits
Medium: books/film
Fandom: Harry Potter
Subject: Remus/Tonks
Cross-posted: fanmix, lifeandtimes_rt, wolfandlady, wotcherwerewolf
Warnings: DH spoilers; AU; minor profanity in one song ("Someday").
Notes: Yes. The cover and back look totally different. Just...pretend I did it because it's symbolic and stuff, like, Remus and Tonks are polar opposites but they fit anyway, which sounds better than "I couldn't find other pictures that really worked". Both photos, and the old-paper texture on the back cover, are from sxc.hu. All these tracks are mp3s, except "Gravity" and "The Moon Is Down," which are both in .m4a format.
This mix never would've have happened at all except that it occurred to me while on vacation, "Hey, several of the songs on my existing and crazy-long Remus/Tonks list are on the Remus-and-Tonks-don't-die theme. Hey, I could do a mix specifically on that! And as a bonus, it wouldn't include most of the boring songs on my RT list that are making me have no interest in finishing it!" So I did. And then it grew, as such things do, but--this is a first--it's actually not insanely long for the first time ever.
Thus: my second completed fanmix ever, on an extremely specific topic, I present "An Ending That Fits: A Remus/Tonks Denial!Mix," which is basically what it says on the tin. I am firmly in denial, you see; in my personal canon, Remus and Tonks never died. (At least I think that's how my personal canon will go. There's simple denial like that, and then there's the more complicated variety where they died or almost died or sort of died and ended up very not dead in the end, through their own efforts or those of somebody else...like the Doctor, in the crossover I have in mind.) Because it has this particular focus, too, it's remarkably free of angst...and I decided not to sweat the fact that I broke one of fanmixing's unwritten rules and included two songs each by not one but two artists. Oh well.
However it happened or didn't happen, though, it doesn't really matter. Remus/Tonks has always been my OTP, so yeah, I was more than a little upset by their deaths in the Battle of Hogwarts and by the way it didn't even happen onscreen. And then I realized that it was, in a way, a gift. Unlike with James, Lily, Sirius, and Dumbledore, among others, Remus' and Tonks's deaths are supported by basically no additional canon or references in the future. Only two real reasons support their deaths at all: Remus' inclusion in the Resurrection Stone scene, and having a next-generation orphan with a much better childhood than Harry's. Other than that--zilch. You can't even say from the epilogue that Teddy's clearly an orphan.
Admittedly my personal canon's been shaken a bit by fernwithy's excellent Teddy stories, just because I like her fanon so much, and like I said, I'm not sure how my personal canon goes exactly, but somehow or other, Remus and Tonks didn't die. I'm going with faeriemaiden's version of things (which is also all things beautiful and shiny) for now, and since this mix is sort of a late extra Christmas present for her, it's kind of based on that anyway.
someday - nickelback
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror
The actual subject of this song has nothing whatsoever to do with this mix. But this part here is so completely perfect I had to include it. Heck, I even got my mix title from it.
another town - regina spektor
In another town
They've given me the key
In another town
I'm drinking for free
In another town
A girl just like me
In another town
But I know, I know, I know
In another town
The light fills my room
In another town
They're painting my moon
In another town
I won't see it soon
But I know, I know, I know
I love you...
This is going to sound very silly to anyone who wasn't as upset by their deaths as I was (and by "upset" I mean I haven't re-read the book yet even once, I was in something of a funk for two or three days after it sank in that Jo had really killed them off, and I felt sick to my stomach when I realized they were dead--denial was about the only place I could go with that), but the first way I comforted myself was by clinging to the idea of parallel universes--a literal AU, in a way. I have no idea what I believe about parallel universes in real life, but in fiction, well, sure. (Have to for Doctor Who, after all.) So that's what I told myself--it's okay, because if this is the sort of parallel-universe setup where new ones split off at every fork in the road, so that everything that can happen has happened, then of course Remus and Tonks are still alive somewhere.
gravity - vienna teng
Look love
They've given up believing
They've turned aside our stories of the gentle fall
But don't you believe them
Don't you drink their poison too
These are the scars that words have carved
On me
This the same place
No, not the same place
This is the same place, love
No, not the same place we've been before
It's not the same place at all. It's a place where Remus and Tonks never died, for one thing, but no matter where they end up, it's different. There was another war, and children went down fighting, children and very old friends--but there's Teddy, too, and a new world that comes with him.
borrowed time - a fine frenzy
step, step right over the line
and onto borrowed time
when it’s life, not waiting to die
waiting to divide
to divide
War always takes people. Remus and Tonks, originally, weren't supposed to die; Arthur Weasley was supposed to die in OotP. Things change. But in a way that's like real life: we never know when our time's going to come, whether we think we're ruled by God or fate or free will or some omnipotent author of another kind. The only thing to do is live.
in our bedroom after the war - stars
Lift your head, and look out the window,
Stay that way for the rest of the day
And watch the time go.
Listen, the birds sing,
Listen, the bells ring.
All the living are dead,
And the dead are all living,
The war is over, and we are beginning.
Here it comes, here comes the first day,
Here it comes, here comes the first day,
It starts up in our bedroom after the war,
It starts up in our bedroom after the war.
After the war.
Like "Someday," the actual topic of this song has nothing to do with what I'm talking about here. If you pretend it's talking literally, though, it fits; it speaks to the exhaustion after a war that nobody thought would ever truly end and the slow return to normality, even though some things--like Ted Tonks's death--mean that life will never really be the same again.
the new year - azure ray
We pried open my window
And let the summer rush in
And we laughed with the new air
Now I lay and watch the green leaves
Dance and whisper sweet breath
A promise of a new year
On this day
We were born into the new year
And after the winter broke
We held hands and we ran
And we agreed that it had been a long one
It's been a long, long year, in more ways than one--the deaths, the hiding, Remus leaving again and coming back, the final battle, the culmination of years of struggle in the sacrifice of a single teenage boy. But now, for the first time in a very long time, things can really be new again.
life is beautiful - vega4
When you run into my arms,
We steal a perfect moment.
Let the monsters see you smile,
let them see you smile
and do I hold you too tightly?
When will the hurt kick in?
Life is beautiful
But it's complicated,
We barely make it.
We don't need to understand,
There are miracles, miracles.
Stand where you are,
We let all these moments pass us by...
It's amazing where I'm standing,
There's a lot left we can give.
It's always the little, inconsequential moments that are the most important. After losing so much and coming so close to losing each other, Remus and Tonks know that better than anybody.
all eternal things - trembling blue stars
Although there is now hope, embers of sadness still glow.
Something hasn't quite flown.
But I know you're there to catch me now.
All eternal things, the moon, the sea, the turning leaves, speak to something within.
And you ease the longing too.
My reason. My sunlight. My lifeline.
All eternal things and you, how this frightened heart they soothe.
You and the seasons will pull me through.
Remus and hope have not, as a rule, gotten on well. He's been a werewolf since he was a child, with all the prejudice and physical and emotional pain that go with his lycanthropy; he finds good things only to lose them, to war, to betrayal, to discrimination, to Fenrir Greyback, to his own clueless, noble nature that insists he will only hurt those he loves.
But now the war's over, he has a beautiful wife who took him back again when he didn't deserve it (or her), he even has a child--he hasn't dared to dream this could be possible for years. There's still sadness, still death, and the wolf-madness still visits him once a month. But he's beginning to believe that things can be okay, even for him; and sometimes, when he wakes in the middle of the night to see Dora sleeping beside him, he doesn't immediately think that he must be dreaming.
home - azure ray
Just an hour and we'll be home
With my family that I chose
You're my family
And on the pavement still gripping the phone
You came and wrapped your arms around my soul
And we were shaking and you're so much a part of me
The Tonkses have never exactly been orthodox. Andromeda got herself burned off the Black family tapestry for marrying a Muggleborn, and then their daughter went and married a werewolf. (And whatever Remus was projecting on other people, Ted and Andromeda were never anywhere near as against the marriage as Remus said.) Even among people who didn't already hate them, like Bellatrix, it raised plenty of eyebrows.
But that's the beauty of it. Remus and Tonks made a family together because they chose to, not because it made sense or because people approved. And as long as they had that love, no matter where they ended up--a London flat, Andromeda's house, the Shrieking Shack--they were home.
mushaboom - feist
I got a man to stick it out
And make a home from a rented house (oh oh oh)
And we'll collect the moments one by one
I guess that's how the future's done (oh oh oh)
It's not all easy, of course. Living never is. But that's okay too. They're learning to take the minutes one by one and cherish all of them.
simple life - the weepies
I'll kiss you awake, and we'll have time
To know our neighbors all by name
And every star at night.
We'll weave our days together like waves
And particles of light.
I want only this, I want to live
I want to live a simple life.
Remus has never had very grand ambitions. He'll fight for the things and people he loves, of course, whether that means going undercover with Greyback's pack, taking part in battles that could easily kill him, or spreading the truth on Potterwatch. But what he's really fighting for--down deep, even if it's taken him a very long time to realize it or to think he deserves to pursue it--isn't peace in the abstract, it's peace that will let him really live, taking joy and wonder in all the little beautiful ordinary moments. And Tonks, Auror and dreamer that she is, really wants the same thing.
now three - vienna teng
City fast asleep.
Clouds up on the hill.
So quiet, so still.
Dreams of rain in sheets, dreams of ice and wings.
So delicate, these things.
Love is a word so small.
Let it fill up 'til I can't see at all.
Strangest beauty cries, one and one, by and by, now three of us here lie.
Love for one so small, come fill me up 'til I can't see at all.
I want to be blind, only my hands to guide me.
Gather all the world inside me.
Teddy Lupin was born, and he changed their world, wonderful and impossible and impossibly tiny little human being with a real future ahead of him, not one of hiding and flinching at shadows.
in my arms - plumb
Castles they might crumble
dreams may not come true
but you are never all alone
because I will always
always love you
when the
clouds will rage and
storms will race in
but you will be safe
in my arms
rains will pour down
waves will crash around
but you will be safe
in my arms
I thought of this as a Remus/Tonks song (especially of the "Remus and Tonks live!" variety) as soon as I heard it, and only realized after reading the lyrics that the artist is singing to her child, not to her husband. So okay, it's another song for Teddy, but a good deal of it can be Remus and Tonks to each other, too. Even Hogwarts might fall, but not them.
grow old with me - the postal service
Spending our lives together
Man and wife together
World without end
World without end
Grow old along with me
Whatever fate decrees
We will see it through
For our love is true
God bless our love
God bless our love
Remus and Tonks, more than any other couple I can think of, deserve to grow old together. They deserve a quiet life of taking pleasure in the little moments, of always finding out new things about each other, of simply being happy with each other after going through at least two years of absolute hell, of looking back and looking ahead and never losing sight of the present.
So that's what I'm giving them. After everything that's been thrown at them, it's only what they ought to have.
remember - air
Remember together
Remember forever
Remember together
Remember forever
Souviens toi, ce jour là, toi et moi
They will never forget. That's one of the reasons they have to survive--because there has to be someone left to remember.
the moon is down - explosions in the sky
[instrumental]
With only a few beautiful exceptions, the moon has ruled Remus Lupin's entire existence. With Tonks, who is more colorful and alive than anyone he's met in a long, long time, he slowly learns to take back his life and really live. After all, the full moon only rises once a month. There's plenty of living to be had in all the days between.
.zip--all tracks with lyrics, cover art, and playlists (xml and m3u)
----
Like this entry? Feel free to add this journal to your friends list so you'll be updated whenever I post another fic. That's not terribly often, so don't worry about getting spammed.
Want to check out what else I write? Try Dusk Through Narrow Streets, a travel blog that chronicles my experiences on a semester abroad in Europe (and yes, the blog title--like The Turning World--comes from an Eliot poem, because I am a geek), or Lost Quite Classically, my book-review blog. And if you like the idea of getting paid to blog, sign up for your own!
Medium: books/film
Fandom: Harry Potter
Subject: Remus/Tonks
Cross-posted: fanmix, lifeandtimes_rt, wolfandlady, wotcherwerewolf
Warnings: DH spoilers; AU; minor profanity in one song ("Someday").
Notes: Yes. The cover and back look totally different. Just...pretend I did it because it's symbolic and stuff, like, Remus and Tonks are polar opposites but they fit anyway, which sounds better than "I couldn't find other pictures that really worked". Both photos, and the old-paper texture on the back cover, are from sxc.hu. All these tracks are mp3s, except "Gravity" and "The Moon Is Down," which are both in .m4a format.
This mix never would've have happened at all except that it occurred to me while on vacation, "Hey, several of the songs on my existing and crazy-long Remus/Tonks list are on the Remus-and-Tonks-don't-die theme. Hey, I could do a mix specifically on that! And as a bonus, it wouldn't include most of the boring songs on my RT list that are making me have no interest in finishing it!" So I did. And then it grew, as such things do, but--this is a first--it's actually not insanely long for the first time ever.
Thus: my second completed fanmix ever, on an extremely specific topic, I present "An Ending That Fits: A Remus/Tonks Denial!Mix," which is basically what it says on the tin. I am firmly in denial, you see; in my personal canon, Remus and Tonks never died. (At least I think that's how my personal canon will go. There's simple denial like that, and then there's the more complicated variety where they died or almost died or sort of died and ended up very not dead in the end, through their own efforts or those of somebody else...like the Doctor, in the crossover I have in mind.) Because it has this particular focus, too, it's remarkably free of angst...and I decided not to sweat the fact that I broke one of fanmixing's unwritten rules and included two songs each by not one but two artists. Oh well.
However it happened or didn't happen, though, it doesn't really matter. Remus/Tonks has always been my OTP, so yeah, I was more than a little upset by their deaths in the Battle of Hogwarts and by the way it didn't even happen onscreen. And then I realized that it was, in a way, a gift. Unlike with James, Lily, Sirius, and Dumbledore, among others, Remus' and Tonks's deaths are supported by basically no additional canon or references in the future. Only two real reasons support their deaths at all: Remus' inclusion in the Resurrection Stone scene, and having a next-generation orphan with a much better childhood than Harry's. Other than that--zilch. You can't even say from the epilogue that Teddy's clearly an orphan.
Admittedly my personal canon's been shaken a bit by fernwithy's excellent Teddy stories, just because I like her fanon so much, and like I said, I'm not sure how my personal canon goes exactly, but somehow or other, Remus and Tonks didn't die. I'm going with faeriemaiden's version of things (which is also all things beautiful and shiny) for now, and since this mix is sort of a late extra Christmas present for her, it's kind of based on that anyway.
someday - nickelback
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror
The actual subject of this song has nothing whatsoever to do with this mix. But this part here is so completely perfect I had to include it. Heck, I even got my mix title from it.
another town - regina spektor
In another town
They've given me the key
In another town
I'm drinking for free
In another town
A girl just like me
In another town
But I know, I know, I know
In another town
The light fills my room
In another town
They're painting my moon
In another town
I won't see it soon
But I know, I know, I know
I love you...
This is going to sound very silly to anyone who wasn't as upset by their deaths as I was (and by "upset" I mean I haven't re-read the book yet even once, I was in something of a funk for two or three days after it sank in that Jo had really killed them off, and I felt sick to my stomach when I realized they were dead--denial was about the only place I could go with that), but the first way I comforted myself was by clinging to the idea of parallel universes--a literal AU, in a way. I have no idea what I believe about parallel universes in real life, but in fiction, well, sure. (Have to for Doctor Who, after all.) So that's what I told myself--it's okay, because if this is the sort of parallel-universe setup where new ones split off at every fork in the road, so that everything that can happen has happened, then of course Remus and Tonks are still alive somewhere.
gravity - vienna teng
Look love
They've given up believing
They've turned aside our stories of the gentle fall
But don't you believe them
Don't you drink their poison too
These are the scars that words have carved
On me
This the same place
No, not the same place
This is the same place, love
No, not the same place we've been before
It's not the same place at all. It's a place where Remus and Tonks never died, for one thing, but no matter where they end up, it's different. There was another war, and children went down fighting, children and very old friends--but there's Teddy, too, and a new world that comes with him.
borrowed time - a fine frenzy
step, step right over the line
and onto borrowed time
when it’s life, not waiting to die
waiting to divide
to divide
War always takes people. Remus and Tonks, originally, weren't supposed to die; Arthur Weasley was supposed to die in OotP. Things change. But in a way that's like real life: we never know when our time's going to come, whether we think we're ruled by God or fate or free will or some omnipotent author of another kind. The only thing to do is live.
in our bedroom after the war - stars
Lift your head, and look out the window,
Stay that way for the rest of the day
And watch the time go.
Listen, the birds sing,
Listen, the bells ring.
All the living are dead,
And the dead are all living,
The war is over, and we are beginning.
Here it comes, here comes the first day,
Here it comes, here comes the first day,
It starts up in our bedroom after the war,
It starts up in our bedroom after the war.
After the war.
Like "Someday," the actual topic of this song has nothing to do with what I'm talking about here. If you pretend it's talking literally, though, it fits; it speaks to the exhaustion after a war that nobody thought would ever truly end and the slow return to normality, even though some things--like Ted Tonks's death--mean that life will never really be the same again.
the new year - azure ray
We pried open my window
And let the summer rush in
And we laughed with the new air
Now I lay and watch the green leaves
Dance and whisper sweet breath
A promise of a new year
On this day
We were born into the new year
And after the winter broke
We held hands and we ran
And we agreed that it had been a long one
It's been a long, long year, in more ways than one--the deaths, the hiding, Remus leaving again and coming back, the final battle, the culmination of years of struggle in the sacrifice of a single teenage boy. But now, for the first time in a very long time, things can really be new again.
life is beautiful - vega4
When you run into my arms,
We steal a perfect moment.
Let the monsters see you smile,
let them see you smile
and do I hold you too tightly?
When will the hurt kick in?
Life is beautiful
But it's complicated,
We barely make it.
We don't need to understand,
There are miracles, miracles.
Stand where you are,
We let all these moments pass us by...
It's amazing where I'm standing,
There's a lot left we can give.
It's always the little, inconsequential moments that are the most important. After losing so much and coming so close to losing each other, Remus and Tonks know that better than anybody.
all eternal things - trembling blue stars
Although there is now hope, embers of sadness still glow.
Something hasn't quite flown.
But I know you're there to catch me now.
All eternal things, the moon, the sea, the turning leaves, speak to something within.
And you ease the longing too.
My reason. My sunlight. My lifeline.
All eternal things and you, how this frightened heart they soothe.
You and the seasons will pull me through.
Remus and hope have not, as a rule, gotten on well. He's been a werewolf since he was a child, with all the prejudice and physical and emotional pain that go with his lycanthropy; he finds good things only to lose them, to war, to betrayal, to discrimination, to Fenrir Greyback, to his own clueless, noble nature that insists he will only hurt those he loves.
But now the war's over, he has a beautiful wife who took him back again when he didn't deserve it (or her), he even has a child--he hasn't dared to dream this could be possible for years. There's still sadness, still death, and the wolf-madness still visits him once a month. But he's beginning to believe that things can be okay, even for him; and sometimes, when he wakes in the middle of the night to see Dora sleeping beside him, he doesn't immediately think that he must be dreaming.
home - azure ray
Just an hour and we'll be home
With my family that I chose
You're my family
And on the pavement still gripping the phone
You came and wrapped your arms around my soul
And we were shaking and you're so much a part of me
The Tonkses have never exactly been orthodox. Andromeda got herself burned off the Black family tapestry for marrying a Muggleborn, and then their daughter went and married a werewolf. (And whatever Remus was projecting on other people, Ted and Andromeda were never anywhere near as against the marriage as Remus said.) Even among people who didn't already hate them, like Bellatrix, it raised plenty of eyebrows.
But that's the beauty of it. Remus and Tonks made a family together because they chose to, not because it made sense or because people approved. And as long as they had that love, no matter where they ended up--a London flat, Andromeda's house, the Shrieking Shack--they were home.
mushaboom - feist
I got a man to stick it out
And make a home from a rented house (oh oh oh)
And we'll collect the moments one by one
I guess that's how the future's done (oh oh oh)
It's not all easy, of course. Living never is. But that's okay too. They're learning to take the minutes one by one and cherish all of them.
simple life - the weepies
I'll kiss you awake, and we'll have time
To know our neighbors all by name
And every star at night.
We'll weave our days together like waves
And particles of light.
I want only this, I want to live
I want to live a simple life.
Remus has never had very grand ambitions. He'll fight for the things and people he loves, of course, whether that means going undercover with Greyback's pack, taking part in battles that could easily kill him, or spreading the truth on Potterwatch. But what he's really fighting for--down deep, even if it's taken him a very long time to realize it or to think he deserves to pursue it--isn't peace in the abstract, it's peace that will let him really live, taking joy and wonder in all the little beautiful ordinary moments. And Tonks, Auror and dreamer that she is, really wants the same thing.
now three - vienna teng
City fast asleep.
Clouds up on the hill.
So quiet, so still.
Dreams of rain in sheets, dreams of ice and wings.
So delicate, these things.
Love is a word so small.
Let it fill up 'til I can't see at all.
Strangest beauty cries, one and one, by and by, now three of us here lie.
Love for one so small, come fill me up 'til I can't see at all.
I want to be blind, only my hands to guide me.
Gather all the world inside me.
Teddy Lupin was born, and he changed their world, wonderful and impossible and impossibly tiny little human being with a real future ahead of him, not one of hiding and flinching at shadows.
in my arms - plumb
Castles they might crumble
dreams may not come true
but you are never all alone
because I will always
always love you
when the
clouds will rage and
storms will race in
but you will be safe
in my arms
rains will pour down
waves will crash around
but you will be safe
in my arms
I thought of this as a Remus/Tonks song (especially of the "Remus and Tonks live!" variety) as soon as I heard it, and only realized after reading the lyrics that the artist is singing to her child, not to her husband. So okay, it's another song for Teddy, but a good deal of it can be Remus and Tonks to each other, too. Even Hogwarts might fall, but not them.
grow old with me - the postal service
Spending our lives together
Man and wife together
World without end
World without end
Grow old along with me
Whatever fate decrees
We will see it through
For our love is true
God bless our love
God bless our love
Remus and Tonks, more than any other couple I can think of, deserve to grow old together. They deserve a quiet life of taking pleasure in the little moments, of always finding out new things about each other, of simply being happy with each other after going through at least two years of absolute hell, of looking back and looking ahead and never losing sight of the present.
So that's what I'm giving them. After everything that's been thrown at them, it's only what they ought to have.
remember - air
Remember together
Remember forever
Remember together
Remember forever
Souviens toi, ce jour là, toi et moi
They will never forget. That's one of the reasons they have to survive--because there has to be someone left to remember.
the moon is down - explosions in the sky
[instrumental]
With only a few beautiful exceptions, the moon has ruled Remus Lupin's entire existence. With Tonks, who is more colorful and alive than anyone he's met in a long, long time, he slowly learns to take back his life and really live. After all, the full moon only rises once a month. There's plenty of living to be had in all the days between.
.zip--all tracks with lyrics, cover art, and playlists (xml and m3u)
----
Like this entry? Feel free to add this journal to your friends list so you'll be updated whenever I post another fic. That's not terribly often, so don't worry about getting spammed.
Want to check out what else I write? Try Dusk Through Narrow Streets, a travel blog that chronicles my experiences on a semester abroad in Europe (and yes, the blog title--like The Turning World--comes from an Eliot poem, because I am a geek), or Lost Quite Classically, my book-review blog. And if you like the idea of getting paid to blog, sign up for your own!