(no subject)
Why does life throw curveballs?
When they're good it's a nice surprise, but when they're bad ... they're ten million times worse because of the shock. I hate it, a lot.
Life can never be 100 percent good. Just when you're in a wonderful place where everything seems to be going so well you feel like you're untouchable. Then life says, fuck you, I can bring you down any time I want. Then it does. And it sucks. It really sucks.
The worst part is, I don't have time for curveballs. I don't have time to deal with them. I have finals, and I'm leaving, and I don't have time.
Now I'm being dramatic. Fuck.
Now I'm crying. Fuck. I'm crying in the middle of the physics office. This is so ridiculous.
I can't deal with death. My brain just goes "does not compute." It's never been someone I'm really close to, but it's still there. This time it was a happy face. A face that always smiled when it saw me. A face I saw very often every summer. A face that I will never see again. That's what gets me. That's what my brain doesn't compute. The deletion of a face, I can't do it.
I always put these things to the back of my head. Focus on other things and I'll get through it. And I forget, and time marches on, things get better, and then life throws another one. Shit. I've lost all words.
Maybe I won't post this.
Maybe I will.
When they're good it's a nice surprise, but when they're bad ... they're ten million times worse because of the shock. I hate it, a lot.
Life can never be 100 percent good. Just when you're in a wonderful place where everything seems to be going so well you feel like you're untouchable. Then life says, fuck you, I can bring you down any time I want. Then it does. And it sucks. It really sucks.
The worst part is, I don't have time for curveballs. I don't have time to deal with them. I have finals, and I'm leaving, and I don't have time.
Now I'm being dramatic. Fuck.
Now I'm crying. Fuck. I'm crying in the middle of the physics office. This is so ridiculous.
I can't deal with death. My brain just goes "does not compute." It's never been someone I'm really close to, but it's still there. This time it was a happy face. A face that always smiled when it saw me. A face I saw very often every summer. A face that I will never see again. That's what gets me. That's what my brain doesn't compute. The deletion of a face, I can't do it.
I always put these things to the back of my head. Focus on other things and I'll get through it. And I forget, and time marches on, things get better, and then life throws another one. Shit. I've lost all words.
Maybe I won't post this.
Maybe I will.