Weak on the Follow-Through
Was is it about those good intentions and the road to hell? I have intentions about so many things - keeping the house clean, taking care of my health, keeping in touch with friends both physical and virtual, making time to craft, etc., etc.... Why am I such a wanker?
So, at the moment I am out of a job. I decided, finally, I was going to have to leave it. I had been struggling at that place since the very beginning, but I stayed anyway. I thought it would get better, or I would get better at it. I thought it was good money (it was, more than I'd ever made in my life). I didn't want to start over somewhere else. I wanted to accrue some @@#$#$%#^!#!!! vacation time. I was scared to leave - that pesky devil you know and all.
I had just about decided around the turn of the year, and then the other guy in the office up and quit. So, since he beat me to the punch I felt obligated to stay on awhile longer. When the new guy showed up, I thought he was kind of an ass - micromanager, very fussy. Ran around wanting to throw everything away that hadn't been used in a while. But left the freaking toilet seat up!! Every time!! (VERY small office - one unisex toilet) So Super Tuesday comes, and I get there early,like always, with a plan to catch up the filing before the avalanche of the day falls on me. Johnnie come lately begins grilling me about what I plan to work on that day, and I'm trying to find a way to graciously say, "The same farking thing as every day dumbass!! Payroll and payables!!" And I'm starting to file the mountain left from yesterday. By this point it's now a quarter to eight, and I'm irritated because he's infringing on my Plan for the morning - and he comes over to me and says I shouldn't work on the filing right now, I should start my regular work and do the filing later. This aggravated me intensely because he knows dick about the flow of work I have to deal with, and I know from experience that "later" never gets here for the filing. Later people will need hotel reservations, or petty cash, or a new cell phone, or a credit card number, or employment verification, or all of the above, and then it will be five o clock and I will be staying late to finish the filing which is now at least twice as deep as it was. But he is not having it, and he puts his hand on my filing pile and pulls it away from me!!!
Now all this may sound really silly and mundane, but for me it was the proverbial Last Straw. I was so furious that this idiot was going to show up, literally had worked there for 2 weeks, and get in my face about what I'm working on when it's not even 8am yet. I had already decided then, but it got worse later in the day when I was called into the boss's office to "talk about this morning". I got told that I needed to adhere to a schedule each day- morning call in reports, payroll, then payables, that there was "no reason" we should be behind on any of these things. Now like I said, I started having misgivings at the outset with this place. At first I thought I was behind because they'd been shorthanded over a month before they found me, so there was an understandable backlog. Later I thought I just needed time to get the hang of it, and I should just work harder. I started coming in early, working through lunch, staying late, and I STILL couldn't keep up. Now I really don't think that's because I'm some total moron who just needs a schedule worked up for me by the new guy and then everything would just be peachy keen.
This was back on Election day in March, and I had a vacation planned in April h my mom. I told them I was looking for work so they would have time to find a replacement, more so the replacement wouldn't start in the same shape I did, snowed under from the outset. I pussed out on telling them exactly why I was leaving, and just blamed it on the commute (which was wearing me out - 50 miles a day) but I didn't want to get into some kind of debate where they promised things would change if I stayed. I'd had plenty of those type promises from them already, and I just wasn't interested in debating it, just in leaving.
Unfortunately, they found someone super fast, and I'm jobless. What can you do? Keep looking, and enjoy the time off while it's here!
Anyway, sorry to bore your ass off with the minutae, but I really needed to get that off my chest.
So, at the moment I am out of a job. I decided, finally, I was going to have to leave it. I had been struggling at that place since the very beginning, but I stayed anyway. I thought it would get better, or I would get better at it. I thought it was good money (it was, more than I'd ever made in my life). I didn't want to start over somewhere else. I wanted to accrue some @@#$#$%#^!#!!! vacation time. I was scared to leave - that pesky devil you know and all.
I had just about decided around the turn of the year, and then the other guy in the office up and quit. So, since he beat me to the punch I felt obligated to stay on awhile longer. When the new guy showed up, I thought he was kind of an ass - micromanager, very fussy. Ran around wanting to throw everything away that hadn't been used in a while. But left the freaking toilet seat up!! Every time!! (VERY small office - one unisex toilet) So Super Tuesday comes, and I get there early,like always, with a plan to catch up the filing before the avalanche of the day falls on me. Johnnie come lately begins grilling me about what I plan to work on that day, and I'm trying to find a way to graciously say, "The same farking thing as every day dumbass!! Payroll and payables!!" And I'm starting to file the mountain left from yesterday. By this point it's now a quarter to eight, and I'm irritated because he's infringing on my Plan for the morning - and he comes over to me and says I shouldn't work on the filing right now, I should start my regular work and do the filing later. This aggravated me intensely because he knows dick about the flow of work I have to deal with, and I know from experience that "later" never gets here for the filing. Later people will need hotel reservations, or petty cash, or a new cell phone, or a credit card number, or employment verification, or all of the above, and then it will be five o clock and I will be staying late to finish the filing which is now at least twice as deep as it was. But he is not having it, and he puts his hand on my filing pile and pulls it away from me!!!
Now all this may sound really silly and mundane, but for me it was the proverbial Last Straw. I was so furious that this idiot was going to show up, literally had worked there for 2 weeks, and get in my face about what I'm working on when it's not even 8am yet. I had already decided then, but it got worse later in the day when I was called into the boss's office to "talk about this morning". I got told that I needed to adhere to a schedule each day- morning call in reports, payroll, then payables, that there was "no reason" we should be behind on any of these things. Now like I said, I started having misgivings at the outset with this place. At first I thought I was behind because they'd been shorthanded over a month before they found me, so there was an understandable backlog. Later I thought I just needed time to get the hang of it, and I should just work harder. I started coming in early, working through lunch, staying late, and I STILL couldn't keep up. Now I really don't think that's because I'm some total moron who just needs a schedule worked up for me by the new guy and then everything would just be peachy keen.
This was back on Election day in March, and I had a vacation planned in April h my mom. I told them I was looking for work so they would have time to find a replacement, more so the replacement wouldn't start in the same shape I did, snowed under from the outset. I pussed out on telling them exactly why I was leaving, and just blamed it on the commute (which was wearing me out - 50 miles a day) but I didn't want to get into some kind of debate where they promised things would change if I stayed. I'd had plenty of those type promises from them already, and I just wasn't interested in debating it, just in leaving.
Unfortunately, they found someone super fast, and I'm jobless. What can you do? Keep looking, and enjoy the time off while it's here!
Anyway, sorry to bore your ass off with the minutae, but I really needed to get that off my chest.