(no subject)
I want to be close with the people who call me on the stupid things I say ro do, I want them to have high standards for me, but sometimes it feels like things... are about me being being constantly corrected. [People] bring up things that I wouldn't necessarily think about... But a lot of times, I dont think that we're arguing about the language or power dynamics, as much as [people] dont trust me and are just waiting for me to show my true, evil self. When do we get to stop trying to prove ourselves and just enjoy each others company?
Decent day. Bad night. Working tonight to cover for Ryan. Hating being responsible. Hating to think of what I've lost. Hating to think I care about the boys I do. Hating to think of what i've given up.
Rat's still at the vet. Missing her mucho. Regretting talking to andrea, but glad to know it helped me/him to talk. Still wishing I knew, but knowing it's none of my business. I wish this could go away. TPRN is such a sigh of relief. I need to get stuff done. Need to shower/empty the dishwasher/call bill/clean my room, but none of it seems appealing/worth while. I dont really wanna go to school next semester, but I have a horrible feeling I'll regret it if I dont.
Meh on me
Decent day. Bad night. Working tonight to cover for Ryan. Hating being responsible. Hating to think of what I've lost. Hating to think I care about the boys I do. Hating to think of what i've given up.
Rat's still at the vet. Missing her mucho. Regretting talking to andrea, but glad to know it helped me/him to talk. Still wishing I knew, but knowing it's none of my business. I wish this could go away. TPRN is such a sigh of relief. I need to get stuff done. Need to shower/empty the dishwasher/call bill/clean my room, but none of it seems appealing/worth while. I dont really wanna go to school next semester, but I have a horrible feeling I'll regret it if I dont.
Meh on me