...
What the fuck?
No. Seriously. What the fuck. What the hell is wrong with you, Potter?
I saw you. Don't deny it. I saw you hiding behind that gargoyle on the third floor, the one that looks like your face but prettier, just after lunch today. Sucking on your trousers, and laughing.
Not only that. Not ONLY that, but not three minutes later you came belting past me from the other direction with what looked like Tracy Scoggins' knickers over your head (they're pretty bloody huge, can't miss them) making bleep bleep noises and hitting first years over the head with a rubber chicken, with Sirius running in hot pursuit. How is that possible? How? How can you have got from one floor to the other, picked up a rubber chicken (and some dry trousers) AND managed to rip those ship sails Scoggins calls knickers from her undercarriage in little over a mousefart in time?
Christ.
And people say I'm weird.
No. Seriously. What the fuck. What the hell is wrong with you, Potter?
I saw you. Don't deny it. I saw you hiding behind that gargoyle on the third floor, the one that looks like your face but prettier, just after lunch today. Sucking on your trousers, and laughing.
Not only that. Not ONLY that, but not three minutes later you came belting past me from the other direction with what looked like Tracy Scoggins' knickers over your head (they're pretty bloody huge, can't miss them) making bleep bleep noises and hitting first years over the head with a rubber chicken, with Sirius running in hot pursuit. How is that possible? How? How can you have got from one floor to the other, picked up a rubber chicken (and some dry trousers) AND managed to rip those ship sails Scoggins calls knickers from her undercarriage in little over a mousefart in time?
Christ.
And people say I'm weird.