Yeah, his clothes were wet, and yeah, he probably should change, but he wasn't going to jump when Izaya urged him. The last thing the Izaya he knew would ever do was help him, and judging by the way he was rambling about being a ghost, he wasn't going to be too keen on making life easy on Shizuo. Changing could wait until after the phone call. He wouldn't try Celty first, because Shinra could actually respond and, given their situation, represent the both of them.
The conversation was brief. Shinra, cheerful as ever, said that he and Celty were free for the moment, and that they'd be right over. Despite his light tone, Shizuo could tell that he was concerned. Most likely the result of Shizuo refusing to give any details over the phone. Once he hung up and tossed it to his couch, he dragged at his cigarette one final time, and reached over to put it out on his now-broken television.
What if Shinra and Celty would not be able to see Izaya? What if they thought he was crazy - in fact, what if he was crazy, and Izaya was a manifestation of guilt? The thought made Shizuo uncomfortable. Surely Celty, of all people was the most likely to be able to see the "ghost," more than even Shizuo - but Shizuo couldn't shake his uneasy feeling.
He glanced back over at Izaya, who was staring out the window, asking questions about "his" funeral and rambling on about his people.
"I didn't go." It was true - Shizuo hadn't felt like he would have been welcome, so he had saved his inevitable visit for that day. Izaya did not need to know the story of his remorse, so he conveniently neglected to mention that.
Standing, he said, "You weren't as liked as you thought." This time, there was some anger - how could Izaya be so arrogant? So cruel to the people around him, and yet expecting that they would revere him after his death? It made Shizuo sick. He didn't want to see or hear Izaya anymore, and since he couldn't channel his anger into chasing and throwing objects at him, he could at least finally go take care of his clothes for a little repieve. "Most people are glad you're gone." That was a guess, but Shizuo felt confident in it.
And yet, Izaya was still rambling.
"Shut up!" Shizuo yelled, finally feeling familiar rage. "It's not exciting and it's not like immortality. You're dead and you need to learn to stay that way, you pathetic flea." He clenched his fists, longing to punch the form before him, but wary of revisiting that cold, empty feeling. "Just - shut up," he said through gritted teeth.
He had to avoid the guilt, the responsibility, the horror at what he had done, what had turned him into a monster - brutal, cruel - a murderer. If that meant forcing anger - making the rage into something he felt keenly, as before - then he would. Anything to remove the reality of his situation.
He disappeared into his bedroom, shutting the door and pulling out a dry bartender outfit from his closet.
Izaya didn't want to admit it but it actually kind of hurt to hear that Shizuo hadn't bothered to show up. Granted, he also wasn't remotely surprised. He probably wouldn't have shown up at Shizuo's funeral either. Or maybe he would have. If only to celebrate the passing of the blond more than anything else.
"You don't have to be rude~," he said quietly, "I'm sure that someone could see in me what you never could. Ahh. I'm sure Mikage was there, hn.." he said, the last part more so to himself than it was directly to Shizuo. His head snapped around though and his red eyes slitted furthermore. This time he felt a stab of anger.
"At least people could stand to be around me for an extended amount of time, Shizu-chan. They didn't need to constantly worry about when I was going to crush their throats with my bare hands like some sort of animal. And at least a lot of people needed me. Tch. Who needs you? Your precious little brother certainly doesn't so what's your point to even live for?" he asked, and yes, he did sound cruel and bitter. Only because he felt cruel and bitter towards Shizuo. The more emotionally he spoke, the more transparent Izaya became.
Not that he really realized it himself yet, but his body was slowly physically fading from sight, only his eyes a bright reminder as to his solidity.
"Fine," he said, his own anger flaring up again. Izaya wasn't like this. No one could pull at him like this- except for Shizuo. Single-highhandedly the most frustrating, horrible creature alive. "I hate you," he muttered quietly as Shizuo left the room. The words echoed around the apartment like a reminder of their relationship before Izaya all but faded.
He was barely visible while Shizuo went to his room and he instead wandered hesitantly. So he could at least be in a separate location from Shizuo. That was refreshing. He sighed and went into the nearest wall- which....
Much to his surprise felt almost warm and concealing. Like a bed of sorts. And if he turned around and strained just in the right way- he could see through the wall and into the layout of Shizuo's living area. Maybe being a ghost wasn't going to be the worst thing.
Then he dreaded the worst. What Shinra could possibly say or even Celty. Death had a lot more troubles than it was so far worth.
The conversation was brief. Shinra, cheerful as ever, said that he and Celty were free for the moment, and that they'd be right over. Despite his light tone, Shizuo could tell that he was concerned. Most likely the result of Shizuo refusing to give any details over the phone. Once he hung up and tossed it to his couch, he dragged at his cigarette one final time, and reached over to put it out on his now-broken television.
What if Shinra and Celty would not be able to see Izaya? What if they thought he was crazy - in fact, what if he was crazy, and Izaya was a manifestation of guilt? The thought made Shizuo uncomfortable. Surely Celty, of all people was the most likely to be able to see the "ghost," more than even Shizuo - but Shizuo couldn't shake his uneasy feeling.
He glanced back over at Izaya, who was staring out the window, asking questions about "his" funeral and rambling on about his people.
"I didn't go." It was true - Shizuo hadn't felt like he would have been welcome, so he had saved his inevitable visit for that day. Izaya did not need to know the story of his remorse, so he conveniently neglected to mention that.
Standing, he said, "You weren't as liked as you thought." This time, there was some anger - how could Izaya be so arrogant? So cruel to the people around him, and yet expecting that they would revere him after his death? It made Shizuo sick. He didn't want to see or hear Izaya anymore, and since he couldn't channel his anger into chasing and throwing objects at him, he could at least finally go take care of his clothes for a little repieve. "Most people are glad you're gone." That was a guess, but Shizuo felt confident in it.
And yet, Izaya was still rambling.
"Shut up!" Shizuo yelled, finally feeling familiar rage. "It's not exciting and it's not like immortality. You're dead and you need to learn to stay that way, you pathetic flea." He clenched his fists, longing to punch the form before him, but wary of revisiting that cold, empty feeling. "Just - shut up," he said through gritted teeth.
He had to avoid the guilt, the responsibility, the horror at what he had done, what had turned him into a monster - brutal, cruel - a murderer. If that meant forcing anger - making the rage into something he felt keenly, as before - then he would. Anything to remove the reality of his situation.
He disappeared into his bedroom, shutting the door and pulling out a dry bartender outfit from his closet.
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"You don't have to be rude~," he said quietly, "I'm sure that someone could see in me what you never could. Ahh. I'm sure Mikage was there, hn.." he said, the last part more so to himself than it was directly to Shizuo. His head snapped around though and his red eyes slitted furthermore. This time he felt a stab of anger.
"At least people could stand to be around me for an extended amount of time, Shizu-chan. They didn't need to constantly worry about when I was going to crush their throats with my bare hands like some sort of animal. And at least a lot of people needed me. Tch. Who needs you? Your precious little brother certainly doesn't so what's your point to even live for?" he asked, and yes, he did sound cruel and bitter. Only because he felt cruel and bitter towards Shizuo. The more emotionally he spoke, the more transparent Izaya became.
Not that he really realized it himself yet, but his body was slowly physically fading from sight, only his eyes a bright reminder as to his solidity.
"Fine," he said, his own anger flaring up again. Izaya wasn't like this. No one could pull at him like this- except for Shizuo. Single-highhandedly the most frustrating, horrible creature alive. "I hate you," he muttered quietly as Shizuo left the room. The words echoed around the apartment like a reminder of their relationship before Izaya all but faded.
He was barely visible while Shizuo went to his room and he instead wandered hesitantly. So he could at least be in a separate location from Shizuo. That was refreshing. He sighed and went into the nearest wall- which....
Much to his surprise felt almost warm and concealing. Like a bed of sorts. And if he turned around and strained just in the right way- he could see through the wall and into the layout of Shizuo's living area. Maybe being a ghost wasn't going to be the worst thing.
Then he dreaded the worst. What Shinra could possibly say or even Celty. Death had a lot more troubles than it was so far worth.
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