the 11th hour
i'm half a page into my five page paper on the evolution of predator induced phototactic behavior in water flea daphnia. it's due tomorrow. i had a test today in evol. i dropped physics this weekend and now i'm a bio major with a chem minor instead of doubling with biochem. i don't need to impress anyone.
i'm going to do teach for america i think. new orleans or charlotte hopefully. i've been lobbied into being a campus coordinator by the woman i interviewed with. social justice!
i've been studying all day and now i'm procrastinating which is dumb because i really just want to go to sleep.
i'm in kind of a bad mood cuz adrian accused me of giving him hickies to "mark him as my territory" since he is dating someone else and also fucking me. it's like they say about freud: sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. sometimes a hickey is just a hickey. i'm taking a mental break from him. he tried calling me twice and i ignored it. not worth it right now. is it ever worth it? probably not. i had a good time at gameworks with him this weekend though, followed by really good sex. but i'm getting tired of the bad feelings. am i finally getting my much-needed moment of clarity? am i finally going to tell him to fuck off after all the shit he's done to me? it feels like it right now, but i bet i won't feel the same tomorrow. the situation makes me feel kind of trapped, even though the entrapment is the fault of me and my stupid emotional dependence. whatever.
i think i really want to get out of seattle for good. one more year.
i'm going to do teach for america i think. new orleans or charlotte hopefully. i've been lobbied into being a campus coordinator by the woman i interviewed with. social justice!
i've been studying all day and now i'm procrastinating which is dumb because i really just want to go to sleep.
i'm in kind of a bad mood cuz adrian accused me of giving him hickies to "mark him as my territory" since he is dating someone else and also fucking me. it's like they say about freud: sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. sometimes a hickey is just a hickey. i'm taking a mental break from him. he tried calling me twice and i ignored it. not worth it right now. is it ever worth it? probably not. i had a good time at gameworks with him this weekend though, followed by really good sex. but i'm getting tired of the bad feelings. am i finally getting my much-needed moment of clarity? am i finally going to tell him to fuck off after all the shit he's done to me? it feels like it right now, but i bet i won't feel the same tomorrow. the situation makes me feel kind of trapped, even though the entrapment is the fault of me and my stupid emotional dependence. whatever.
i think i really want to get out of seattle for good. one more year.