I'm on vacation, what did you expect.
Ok, so my dear Jmbalaya has prompted me to continue my discussion on religion. I shall clarify some guidelines now in an effort to keep this thing moooovin'. I am not a religious person. I am not an atheist. I am not agnostic. I guess I probably fall into one of those categories if I really looked into it, but to be truthful, the whole religion/spirituality/relationship with god thing means very little to me. Do I have opinions? Hell yes, I am entitled to have them. Are they right all the time? Hell yes, I'm THE POP dammit! Ha!
What I do find interesting enough to think about and discuss (but not yet read about at the expense of my studies) is the human interaction. Why can I look at a generation younger than me (maybe even half a generation) and wonder what happened to all the good people? The smart people? The people who are sensitive to one another and what not? Why can I get a "Girls Gone Wild" video monthly? When did it become OK to make racist jokes if you know some one of that race?
How does this play into the religion context?
Well, one of the arguments I hear today from either various new sources, or authors, or just people I talk to of multiple age brackets, is that we need stronger religion or religious influences because our society is spiraling downward. There's more and more emphasis on instant celebrity than hard work and accomplishment. I now live in a community where I am surrounded by many young people (ages 17-25) and I am often surprised at how little they think of people who are unlike themselves. Where are they learning this? I hear judgmental and/or abusive comments, intolerant viewpoints, and severe entitlement. I watched a kid walk over to the car of classmate of his, and pee on the car. It wasn't meant to be funny, it was meant to be a jerk.
So...jmbalaya asked:
"I can't see where you are going with this. Guilt and shame are unproductive emotionally damaging modalities. Moreover, they are unnecessary and even less effective than other modalities for ethical choices."
And I respond thusly:
1. What are the other modalities for ethical choices that are more effective? (not a challenge, a serious inquiry)
2. You are correct, I think I was off base with the guilt versus shame thing. This morning as I was laying in bed the word that popped into my head was "empathy". But I'll get back to that in a moment.
Where I was initially going with the guilt versus shame thing is: Why do "kids today" seem to have no shame? When I was trying to think of it from the level of a child I started thinking differently. My best friends daughter, J, recently bit D hard on the shoulder. It didn't break the skin, but it did leave a bruise that was there for almost a week. She has been bitten before by "Dante" who did break the skin. So how do we teach J that it isn't OK to bite people? Well we try to teach her empathy. That it feels bad when someone does that to you. We try to teach her to "do unto others."
So maybe the missing ingredient is empathy. And maybe it's missing because parent's try to overprotect their kids so they never feel any pain. I mean heck, my Mom got threatened a bunch of times that people were going to sue her while she was a secretary at a grammar school. And she was the most kind and loving person you can imagine. Imagine, getting threatened over trying to comfort a child who was upset. It's admirable to want to protect your children from all harm, but it's not really possible. Is all harm bad? Plus, part of learning is experiencing. What are our alternatives?
What I do find interesting enough to think about and discuss (but not yet read about at the expense of my studies) is the human interaction. Why can I look at a generation younger than me (maybe even half a generation) and wonder what happened to all the good people? The smart people? The people who are sensitive to one another and what not? Why can I get a "Girls Gone Wild" video monthly? When did it become OK to make racist jokes if you know some one of that race?
How does this play into the religion context?
Well, one of the arguments I hear today from either various new sources, or authors, or just people I talk to of multiple age brackets, is that we need stronger religion or religious influences because our society is spiraling downward. There's more and more emphasis on instant celebrity than hard work and accomplishment. I now live in a community where I am surrounded by many young people (ages 17-25) and I am often surprised at how little they think of people who are unlike themselves. Where are they learning this? I hear judgmental and/or abusive comments, intolerant viewpoints, and severe entitlement. I watched a kid walk over to the car of classmate of his, and pee on the car. It wasn't meant to be funny, it was meant to be a jerk.
So...jmbalaya asked:
"I can't see where you are going with this. Guilt and shame are unproductive emotionally damaging modalities. Moreover, they are unnecessary and even less effective than other modalities for ethical choices."
And I respond thusly:
1. What are the other modalities for ethical choices that are more effective? (not a challenge, a serious inquiry)
2. You are correct, I think I was off base with the guilt versus shame thing. This morning as I was laying in bed the word that popped into my head was "empathy". But I'll get back to that in a moment.
Where I was initially going with the guilt versus shame thing is: Why do "kids today" seem to have no shame? When I was trying to think of it from the level of a child I started thinking differently. My best friends daughter, J, recently bit D hard on the shoulder. It didn't break the skin, but it did leave a bruise that was there for almost a week. She has been bitten before by "Dante" who did break the skin. So how do we teach J that it isn't OK to bite people? Well we try to teach her empathy. That it feels bad when someone does that to you. We try to teach her to "do unto others."
So maybe the missing ingredient is empathy. And maybe it's missing because parent's try to overprotect their kids so they never feel any pain. I mean heck, my Mom got threatened a bunch of times that people were going to sue her while she was a secretary at a grammar school. And she was the most kind and loving person you can imagine. Imagine, getting threatened over trying to comfort a child who was upset. It's admirable to want to protect your children from all harm, but it's not really possible. Is all harm bad? Plus, part of learning is experiencing. What are our alternatives?