(no subject)
okay so college
it has been really fun so far. went to a few parties, met some friends, have had good times.
but tonight as i was going to see snakes on a plane, i started to really feel lonely and crap. of course for phillip, but also just like friends who know me and just you know, get me. as much as i used to think my friends didn't get me, they did it was just different than other people. and now it is like, well my roomate is really cool and helpful and i really appreciate her, but it isn't the same. just one person to rely on?
now i know i need to just meet and get to know other people. i know all the answers but i am having bad social anxiety now. i am good when i drink but then other times, reaaal shy and nervous. i am gonna try and work on it though... i mean it is the only solution so i of course HAVE to. to make myself happy at least.
because i started feeling depressed today, like reaaaaal depressed not just sad and i am just not gonna let that happen again.
it is weird i thought i would just mostly be jealous of things in the phillip situation but honestly that is fine. i just miss him to death.
classes start tomorrow and i am pretty not happy about that haha. boo school and working not just partying haha. jk. but yeah i am not gonna lie, i am nervous as to how it will be and if i will do good. i am sure everything is gonna be fine. i just worry too much.
i should update with pictures and stories and stuff rather than this but oh well
oh i also cut 10 inches off of my hair.
it has been really fun so far. went to a few parties, met some friends, have had good times.
but tonight as i was going to see snakes on a plane, i started to really feel lonely and crap. of course for phillip, but also just like friends who know me and just you know, get me. as much as i used to think my friends didn't get me, they did it was just different than other people. and now it is like, well my roomate is really cool and helpful and i really appreciate her, but it isn't the same. just one person to rely on?
now i know i need to just meet and get to know other people. i know all the answers but i am having bad social anxiety now. i am good when i drink but then other times, reaaal shy and nervous. i am gonna try and work on it though... i mean it is the only solution so i of course HAVE to. to make myself happy at least.
because i started feeling depressed today, like reaaaaal depressed not just sad and i am just not gonna let that happen again.
it is weird i thought i would just mostly be jealous of things in the phillip situation but honestly that is fine. i just miss him to death.
classes start tomorrow and i am pretty not happy about that haha. boo school and working not just partying haha. jk. but yeah i am not gonna lie, i am nervous as to how it will be and if i will do good. i am sure everything is gonna be fine. i just worry too much.
i should update with pictures and stories and stuff rather than this but oh well
oh i also cut 10 inches off of my hair.