Disposable Love
In an age where love seems to be anything but forever, its hard to remain hopeful about my own relationship. When couples that seem to have it so good decide that love just isn't worth it then it makes my own rocky relationship seem that more unstable. How is it though that Edward and I remain together and so many of my friends and loved ones are breaking up? What do we have that they don't? There are some days that I just know in my mind that we can't last one more moment or we (usually me) will kill one another. But then my heart speaks and tells me NO! You can't, you WON'T give up. I just keep on fighting. I keep on searching for the answers to our problems. And eventually that love, that feeling that wasn' t there, that I could not fathom even wanting to feel comes rushing back.
I think many couples go through a period of this. Working out the kinks, learning each other. Its this period where most throw in the towel. They forget the love. Oh they may know they love the other person.... but its "too hard" to try and make it work. Its too much effort. I guess where most of us differ is my marriage is my HIGHEST priority. I guess I am old-fashioned. I believe in love. I believe it conquers all. My husband is my world, I revolve around him. I am in this world for such a short time. I feel I must leave a legacy, something to be known for. Something my children can be proud of. I'm not very skillful in any on area except for the area of the heart. I am good at loving people I suppose. I guess sometimes a little too much. I know just how rare that love is. Its so hard to find a real true love. I am not so presumptuous as to claim there is only one soul mate for each of us. (Although that romantic notion makes my heart flutter.) But I do think that there are only a handful of people that can make us truly happy and truly love us in return the way we need to be loved. So few who understand the real us and accept us the way we are.
Love is not only an emotion, its an action, its a journey. I choose this journey with Edward, no matter how hard it gets, I know that we can make it. He knows me in a way that hardly anyone else does. He tries so hard now to make me happy. Someone who would give up their fastest and only DVD burner to get a hard drive for your laptop, so you can have a kitty-top. To understand my crazy idiosyncrasies. To help me grow and protect me when I can't see the forest for the trees. Patience. We run out, but we take a deep breath and jump back in ready to confront all life has to throw at us. I just wish that more then 50% of America could know what I know, see what I see, and have someone love them so deeply that somehow the world seems like a perfect place. I wish we hadn't turned love into something so disposable, because its not easily replaced.
I think many couples go through a period of this. Working out the kinks, learning each other. Its this period where most throw in the towel. They forget the love. Oh they may know they love the other person.... but its "too hard" to try and make it work. Its too much effort. I guess where most of us differ is my marriage is my HIGHEST priority. I guess I am old-fashioned. I believe in love. I believe it conquers all. My husband is my world, I revolve around him. I am in this world for such a short time. I feel I must leave a legacy, something to be known for. Something my children can be proud of. I'm not very skillful in any on area except for the area of the heart. I am good at loving people I suppose. I guess sometimes a little too much. I know just how rare that love is. Its so hard to find a real true love. I am not so presumptuous as to claim there is only one soul mate for each of us. (Although that romantic notion makes my heart flutter.) But I do think that there are only a handful of people that can make us truly happy and truly love us in return the way we need to be loved. So few who understand the real us and accept us the way we are.
Love is not only an emotion, its an action, its a journey. I choose this journey with Edward, no matter how hard it gets, I know that we can make it. He knows me in a way that hardly anyone else does. He tries so hard now to make me happy. Someone who would give up their fastest and only DVD burner to get a hard drive for your laptop, so you can have a kitty-top. To understand my crazy idiosyncrasies. To help me grow and protect me when I can't see the forest for the trees. Patience. We run out, but we take a deep breath and jump back in ready to confront all life has to throw at us. I just wish that more then 50% of America could know what I know, see what I see, and have someone love them so deeply that somehow the world seems like a perfect place. I wish we hadn't turned love into something so disposable, because its not easily replaced.