so much to talk about
In the aftermath of Blind Sides, Upper Cuts, and Smacks to the Face, a great deal of hilarious and mind-bending events have taken place. So on thursday night, we decide to have a 'party' of sorts at whitney's house. All is going well, we're having a good time when one of the crafty ladies decided to prank call Ben at about one in the morning. Of course, Ben being the irrational, attention loving asshat that he is, decides to get ridiculously pissed and do the upstanding thing, and threaten to call the parents of someone who is not involved in the prank call at all. Besides being ridiculously retarded, calling Randy's mom at one in the morning would have yielded nothing except complicity in the paintballing of his piece of shit cougar.
Anyways, so he finally stops talking after continuously being hung up on and out-argued by Lisa. So of course we think that maybe he's decided to be normal for once in his life and give it up. Oh how wrong we were to believe it. At approximately 1:45 in the morning I take heather grasse back to her car which is parked at my house to avoid pissing off whitney's neighbors. Not five seconds after I pull onto my street, do I see the headlights and cougar insignia of the one and only ben harrison behind my car on oak gardens. Heather, who is not exactly fond of seeing let alone talking to senor dousche face, tells me not to let her out, because she is understandably scared of the weird ass bastard who is sitting in his car behind us at two in the morning. So I drive off with the intention of just going somewhere, hoping he'll disappear into the night like some sort of leper. But who could be so dumb to think that herr cockhat would simply leave or get the signal. No no, that would be to easy. So instead he decides that it is a good idea to chase me around the town of kingwood as if part of a high speed police chase. After attempting to pull a u-turn in the middle of the northbound section of lake houston parkway, mr. harrison circled through kroger, only to chase my toyota through hunter's ridge culminating in the highlight of all idiocy, where, thinking he'd be cool, he attempted to block my car into a cul-de-sac by parking his car across the middle of the street. Fortunately, he was either drunk at the time, or an idiot because he was unable to perceive that he clearly had failed in his mission and I was easily able to drive around him. With panic in his eyes, he of course decided that the best thing to do, would be to jump on top of my car. Thats right kids, he gave me the opportunity to swing him from side to side and perform all the other fun things you wish you could do to a psychopath, willingly! So after I decided that killing him was not a good option do to the legal fiasco involved, I carefully instructed him to remove his carcas from the vehicle. He finally did so only to watch my car whiz away. As I went, he of course beat his fist on the hood of my car as one could only expect from a stultifyingly moronic degenerate.
I'm fairly certain that in the process of all this he committed at least one felony, and if not, I'm still filing a restraining order. This guy went from just pissing me off to seriously causing alarm for the well-being of everyone he knows in about thirty five minutes. Anyone else who would like to be listed under the terms of the restraining order, please let me know before 4 pm tommorrow.
Otherwise it is four days till my birthday, and I'm excited like woh.
Anyways, so he finally stops talking after continuously being hung up on and out-argued by Lisa. So of course we think that maybe he's decided to be normal for once in his life and give it up. Oh how wrong we were to believe it. At approximately 1:45 in the morning I take heather grasse back to her car which is parked at my house to avoid pissing off whitney's neighbors. Not five seconds after I pull onto my street, do I see the headlights and cougar insignia of the one and only ben harrison behind my car on oak gardens. Heather, who is not exactly fond of seeing let alone talking to senor dousche face, tells me not to let her out, because she is understandably scared of the weird ass bastard who is sitting in his car behind us at two in the morning. So I drive off with the intention of just going somewhere, hoping he'll disappear into the night like some sort of leper. But who could be so dumb to think that herr cockhat would simply leave or get the signal. No no, that would be to easy. So instead he decides that it is a good idea to chase me around the town of kingwood as if part of a high speed police chase. After attempting to pull a u-turn in the middle of the northbound section of lake houston parkway, mr. harrison circled through kroger, only to chase my toyota through hunter's ridge culminating in the highlight of all idiocy, where, thinking he'd be cool, he attempted to block my car into a cul-de-sac by parking his car across the middle of the street. Fortunately, he was either drunk at the time, or an idiot because he was unable to perceive that he clearly had failed in his mission and I was easily able to drive around him. With panic in his eyes, he of course decided that the best thing to do, would be to jump on top of my car. Thats right kids, he gave me the opportunity to swing him from side to side and perform all the other fun things you wish you could do to a psychopath, willingly! So after I decided that killing him was not a good option do to the legal fiasco involved, I carefully instructed him to remove his carcas from the vehicle. He finally did so only to watch my car whiz away. As I went, he of course beat his fist on the hood of my car as one could only expect from a stultifyingly moronic degenerate.
I'm fairly certain that in the process of all this he committed at least one felony, and if not, I'm still filing a restraining order. This guy went from just pissing me off to seriously causing alarm for the well-being of everyone he knows in about thirty five minutes. Anyone else who would like to be listed under the terms of the restraining order, please let me know before 4 pm tommorrow.
Otherwise it is four days till my birthday, and I'm excited like woh.