(no subject)
I think my anxiety is coming back. I feel my throat constricting and chest tight more and more often. This is unsettling because I start school soon. I feel over my head only because of anxiety, not due to lack of intelligence.
I've wanted to have a novel manuscript in progress, to get into better shape this year... Everything I had planned for this year has failed. Everything. And once again I have nothing to show for my life. I think anxiety is starting to wipe me out again. Sometimes i dread leaving my room/bed and am almost too afraid to. Doing the bare minimum at my job is proving difficult. I know I'm more than competent enough to handle the tough cases I've been given, but my anxiety gets in the way of that and even when I essentially got a perfect review I don't believe it and am constantly paralyzed by the fear of messing up.
I refuse to go on meds again. Well see how this works.
My stress and anxiety have been manifesting physically. I ache everywhere and have constant discomfort/headaches/ indigestion. I never thought my life would be like this. I derive comfort from nothing at the moment other than the fact that I haven't killed myself yet.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.