Being offended is seriously not cool.
It really is a difficult task, being a feminist and having a facebook account.
Today I linked an post from ONTD-political on facebook. It was called "'Sexist trousers' are below the belt" by rjdaae. I loved this post because quite frankly, it was one of the most intelligent posts about feminism that I have seen in a while. It tackled this issue, something that I think has yet to be addressed fully. It concerns not about being offended by something, but the reaction you gauge from others because you are offended.
To avoid a TL;DR post, the poster expressed their dislike for a sexist comment that she found in a piece of clothing on twitter. While they did receive some supportive comments, they did also experience what seems to be one of the standard reactions to offense these days:
"...[then] cue the predictable minority chorus of men telling me to “lighten up” and “learn how to take a joke” and the women who love to be 'one of the boys’ and live in fear of being called a ‘feminist’, informing me of how “hilarious” the message was. One man told me not to "get my knickers in a twist" - which albeit patronising, was at least an attempt at humour..."
Recently, this seems to be everywhere and I fully agree with the poster on their thoughts about it:
"We really are in a bad place as a society when laughing something off has become virtually the only response to anything vaguely anti-female, or anti-male for that matter."
I can't help but think that I've seen this a lot recently. I cannot help but point the finger at facebook.
Every time I log on, there is something of an offensive nature on my feed. A sensitive picture with a OMFGHILARIOUS quote, or scores of people joining a new facebook group that deliberately targets a social group because its FUNNEH. There are jokes about gays, women, men, race and important news events posted continuously
And of course, it's all in the name of 'funny'.
Another case in question is that of the so called journalists at UNI-LAD. When they publicly apologised on facebook for their disgusting article concerning the 'odds' on rape and other quite blatantly sexist and degrading articles, their page was awash with comments from their fans. Not of anger against them, mind you. But the sort of comments that the articles endorsed in the first place.
Oh, wait. Sorry, do I sound pathetic and whiny for having an issue with this? Do I need to calm down, see the other side of the argument? Get back in the kitchen, make the sandwich? It's only facebook after all, people making stupid comments.
Or perhaps I should listen to the old arguments. More than enough times I've had "Don't like? DON'T READ!" or "FREEDOM OF SPEECH YEAH?" shoved into my face when I have expressed my dislike over what I see.
Dear me, perhaps I'm overreacting?!
Well, here's the thing. No. I am a real person with a facebook account and here are real people here that are offending me. Jokes about rape and sexism get under my skin. I get upset when I see comments about women who deserve to be raped. I get angry when I see a JPEG posted on facebook that is either racist or homophobic. People who laugh off or make jokes about devestating events make me feel sick.
I don't like this new wave of "ironic sexism" or "funny racism". I know and believe in what I was taught. Sexism is exactly what it says on the tin. Homophobia is what it is. Racism has never been anything but racism. Maybe being a 'troll' is the platinum excuse for acting like an idiot. Oh, and of course the internet will protect you.
But all I can think of is this. Would you say such things to my face? Would you openly tell me, in front of everyone, to get back in the kitchen. Or that because women wear shorts skirts they deserve to be raped? Perhaps you want to make a joke about gay people while we're at it, and make a racist slur?
No, because in society, there are social barriers that mostly prevent this faceless idiocy. In 'real life', away from the computer screen, you have to physically deal with the consequences of offending real people. There are laws against the things you say, and you have to abide by them. Maybe the internet is another world. But there is nothing that suggests that the rules have to be different.
So please, as I ask those who ask me why I get so offended, what gives you the right to apply your standards to everyone else?
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