Numb
"I had always heard that your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that second isn’t a second at all. It stretches on forever like an ocean of time.
For me it was lying on my back at boyscout camp, watching falling stars. And yellow leaves from the maple trees that lined our street. Or my grandmother’s hands and the way her skin seemed like paper. And the first time I saw my cousin Tony’s brand new Firebird.
I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it’s hard to stay mad when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, my heart fills up like a balloon about to burst. And then I remember to relax… and stop trying to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain. And I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every moment of my stupid little life.
You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry. You will someday."
Quoted from the end of the movie, American Beauty.
I stopped feeling like a zombie sometime last week. Now I'm just having trouble thinking of the words. Now, there's no one to talk to about how to grow up and be a man. I broke down and cried, in the hospital room, alone, with...him. Said my goodbyes, apologized for not getting him anymore grandkids, falling in love with life in Alabama. I told him about, how I was learning a song by the Rolling Stones, called "The Last Time", so we could play it together the next time we met up, how I had planned to just randomly drive up in August. The name, the bloodline is mine, in a way, I couldn't feel more tragedy, in the other, I couldn't be happier.
For me it was lying on my back at boyscout camp, watching falling stars. And yellow leaves from the maple trees that lined our street. Or my grandmother’s hands and the way her skin seemed like paper. And the first time I saw my cousin Tony’s brand new Firebird.
I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it’s hard to stay mad when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, my heart fills up like a balloon about to burst. And then I remember to relax… and stop trying to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain. And I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every moment of my stupid little life.
You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry. You will someday."
Quoted from the end of the movie, American Beauty.
I stopped feeling like a zombie sometime last week. Now I'm just having trouble thinking of the words. Now, there's no one to talk to about how to grow up and be a man. I broke down and cried, in the hospital room, alone, with...him. Said my goodbyes, apologized for not getting him anymore grandkids, falling in love with life in Alabama. I told him about, how I was learning a song by the Rolling Stones, called "The Last Time", so we could play it together the next time we met up, how I had planned to just randomly drive up in August. The name, the bloodline is mine, in a way, I couldn't feel more tragedy, in the other, I couldn't be happier.