(no subject)
'i've been having dreams of you again, albert.' she spoke softly and defensively, knowing that he was knowing what was coming next. his fingers draped across her back like crumpled marionettes, swaying forth to the sides of her arms, dragging his fingers along her skin as though it were soil. his eyes were gently closed, and his chest rose a fraction of an inch too far, and yes, he knew what was coming next. 'albert, i know--damn it, albert, open your eyes. i know that you don't mean to keep popping into my head, and i guess there's really nothing i or you can do about it, it's just one of those things where, you know? i guess we're helpless. albert, can you say something? albert, open your eyes. al--' she was cut off as he opened his eyes, and her dreams came flying back into her head like bats or runaway WWII fighter planes. in her dream, she was lying on the bed with him, with her arm under his neck and his head resting on her upper chest. she liked to pretend that he was listening to her heart beat. 'baby? i love you.' she was proud, because she said it first this time. it always felt insincere saying, 'i love you too.' he kissed her right breast and raised his face slowly up to hers, the joints in his neck creaking like a wooden door frame. his eyes opened, and they were red, and his smile curled a little at the sides, and for a second, he was not quite real. he couldn't be real. he treats you good, no? always telling you how pretty you are, how all the other boys are jealous, how if he sees you talking to those other boys, he'll tear your fucking eyes out. he treats you real good. and now his eyes opened again, and she jumped back and her face was distorted by all of the emotions she felt towards him: hatred, lust, greed, sadness, love, heartbreak, anger, apology. "christ, what's wrong with you? what happened? jesus, speak!" her hair had fallen over her left shoulder, and he reached for it, laying the strand along her back. she smiled with her mouth and cried with her eyes. 'albert, i know you're good to me, i know. it's just, i can't stop having these dreams. albert, sometimes you scare me.' his eyes closed once again, and he withdrew his hand from her cheek, and placed it by his side. she grasped at it, more scared of him now that he was not reassuring him with his cruel touch. 'albert, don't get mad; no please don't get mad. albert, i promise i'll stop having these dreams. albert? albert? albert, i know you treat me good. i'm sorry.'