(no subject)

[thetapehiss]

the day they cut your teeth out,
your fears became real.
a needle, four wounds and
a mouth that couldn't hold back a thought.
they never cut mine out;
my body didn't need it,
and my fears are never real, just old.
you've lived a life,
you've lived three of them, and
you've lived through it.
you lived, and i lied.

my body is sighing back into
the early onset of middle age;
i don't want to relive it.
i want to be carried,
i want a schedule that tells me when i
wake, sleep,
fight, lose,
creak.
i'm someone, and i don't want to be.

there's a letter i've been saving for you,
it's been written between the folds of my brain,
tattooed and hardened there.
there is dust on it now,
and you might not read it.
i'm ready for that,
eyes closed tight and all of my fingers crossed.