(no subject)
i can't think, i can't learn, i can hardly breathe. what good are these things when you've found true, pure love, and you can't have it? don't answer that, it's obvious.
i've been trying to brighten myself in every way, walking far from the sharp buildings into the light of the muddy sun, to soak up whatever joy exists out there, the kind of happiness that exists simply because it must exist somewhere. it doesn't belong to any one person, but it shimmers in the air like heat, and sometimes, you'll walk through it. sometimes.
i wish it were like the song said, but the sound of loneliness doesn't make me happier. it resonates within the cavity of my chest, it fills my arms and legs. a year ago, i was happy with every living thing.
now, i'm waiting for the shimmer in the air like heat. i've been squeezing sand too tightly in my fist, and now i'll walk into the ocean, like a bird.