Brand New Year
And I haven't done shit.
Seriously, just been hanging around the house for the majority of this month. Which is really bothering me, partly from boredom and partly because I'm wasting my life away within these walls. I suppose my problem is I really am not sure what I want to do with my life. I mean I find science fascinating, and the Law Enforcement field definitely has my attention. But other than that I'm just not sure what to do.
I've been bouncing the idea of joining the military again, this time the Air Force of all things. Course if I decided to do that I would want too (everyone look at me crazy now) go for Special Forces. Cuz if I'm going to go into that I might as well try and do what I want to do, right? Other than that, I was checking out the possible jobs I could get in the Air Force and ended up on Security Forces. It got me to thinking that if I got my degree in Criminal Justice , I would go into the USAF as an officer, and could be a SF easily. Afterwards I could get a career in local law enforcement, or stay in the USAF. Other things that caught my eye were Para-rescue and Survival Evasion, Resistance and Escape Operations. What can I say? I'm nuts.
But this is down the road some, right now I need to focus on getting a job and working my ass off to make some decent money. I've taken a break from school this semester to do just that. Also because I need to refocus myself (after I figure out what I want to do) in order to actually do well in school. Cuz I really see no point in going to school when I'm barely being able to keep afloat. Hopefully this break will allow me to fully identify why I'm having problems with motivation and focus and actually fix them.
That's another reason I've been thinking about joining the military, I think it would help me with the problems I have with motivation and focus. Because, if anything, they do beat that into your head. And maybe that's what I need. *shrug*
But back to job. I need I job. I will get a job. Hopefully close to full time and with decent pay. It's going to happen, it'd going to happen, it's going to happen...dammit.
I still haven't come up with my Martial Arts Resolutions that my Sensei wanted us to do. He wanted each person to write out resolutions for Ninjutsu and for life to discuss with him. He did the same thing last year and I didn't do it then either. It's not supposed to be only of those bullshit resolutions like "I resolve to quit smoking/lose weight/stop getting smashed in Cancun every weekend" that people make every year just because it's expected of them and that they break the next month. (not that there's anything against those specific resolutions, and if you've made them with actual resolve, good for you, and good luck.) The resolutions are supposed to be something for Ninjutsu, something to help better yourself at it, whatever. And then something for your life.
Anyway, I still haven't done it. But because I just can't think of anything that I think is serious, that I can get myself behind. It requires more thought, I shall work on it.
On a Ninjutsu related note, I need to practice my Ukemi. Apparently I put myself in some dangerous situations with the way my body reacts right now to technique. Case in point; today I was training with Brain in my backyard, and popped my ankle in a throw. It was weird, I was going down to the ground, and realized my foot was planted while my leg was moving. And the way my leg was moving, my foot should also be moving. This is a second before I hear *poppop*. The weirder thing was, it didn't hurt. I kinda dismissed it, because my joints pop all the time, though this was a much louder pop. Then I stood up and went for another punch when I realized "Hey, this fucking HURTS a bit". So, I promptly went inside and did nothing about it because I have no ice nor any ankle wraps. Still is kinda sore, but I can walk on it now, plus it's not visibly swollen nor some odd color. So figure I'll be ok.
Course the last time something like this happened it turned out I had popped my collarbone out of place and it took me a week to get it fixed.
ANYWAY, I need to start doing break falls, and all kinds of rolls around my back yard for at least an hour a day. Actually I need to do more training period for at least a couple hours a day. But we'll start with Ukemi...and left handed punches...and right handed punches...and Kamae...and flexibility. I need to stretch more as well, especially my back backwards. Arches ahoy!
I need to start reading more too. Used to be, I'd always have my nose buried in a book. Now, my "too be read" list just keeps getting longer and longer. I think part of the problem is that I want to take notes and stuff on the books as well, and that might be a tall order for the first read through. So maybe I'll just read through them, then go back and take notes on them (at least the ones that are meant to teach me something.)
But yea, book list. As of now it looks like this
- Musashi: Eiji Yoshikawa
- Musashi's Book of Five Rings
- Shogun: James Clavell
- The Art of War: Sun Tzu
- Atom: Isaac Asimov
- Beginnings: Isaac Asimov
- Dreams of Terror and Death: H.P. Lovecraft
- The Voyage of the Beagle: Charles Darwin
- The Origin of Species: Charles Darwin
- Understanding Physics: Isaac Asimov
- Marine Biology
- Intro to Criminal Justice
- Intermediate Algebra
- America; The Book: Jon Stewart
- All the Ninjutsu books I have
- Compilation of Japanese Tales
So yea, pretty hefty list there. But I'll get through it...eventually.
Man, my ankle is bothering me. But I don't want to have to take painkillers. Course it probably doesn't help that I keep moving it around.
I was talking with Brian earlier today and he was talking about how I should start thinking about why I am doing Ninjutsu. Well, rethinking. That was first question asked of us when we walked into the Dojo for the first time. It makes sense though, my reasons have changed dramatically and I'm sure they will again. And at this point in my training I do think it's a good idea to re-visit the question in order to further myself in this and my life, possibly. The point was made that if you train to live then your life will get better. Not magically, or instantly through some weird way. Without getting all Zen and shit on your ass (well, I'm gonna try) if you apply the feeling that you are training to live to your life then the perspective that you view your life from can change. Making it all training (because fundamentally, it all is training). So in that way, you are living through your training if that makes sense. As he put it "What do you need to lead a happy life? A life". So, that way you're on the way to your happy life.
This is all broken up and not flowing because I just realized that it's 12:30am and I'm kinda tired.
I did kinda go on a bit though. Well, if you got this far congratulations. You're entitled to a free cookie from Mrs. Fields. And if they don't give it to you...well, tough shit. Do with them what you will.
Seriously, just been hanging around the house for the majority of this month. Which is really bothering me, partly from boredom and partly because I'm wasting my life away within these walls. I suppose my problem is I really am not sure what I want to do with my life. I mean I find science fascinating, and the Law Enforcement field definitely has my attention. But other than that I'm just not sure what to do.
I've been bouncing the idea of joining the military again, this time the Air Force of all things. Course if I decided to do that I would want too (everyone look at me crazy now) go for Special Forces. Cuz if I'm going to go into that I might as well try and do what I want to do, right? Other than that, I was checking out the possible jobs I could get in the Air Force and ended up on Security Forces. It got me to thinking that if I got my degree in Criminal Justice , I would go into the USAF as an officer, and could be a SF easily. Afterwards I could get a career in local law enforcement, or stay in the USAF. Other things that caught my eye were Para-rescue and Survival Evasion, Resistance and Escape Operations. What can I say? I'm nuts.
But this is down the road some, right now I need to focus on getting a job and working my ass off to make some decent money. I've taken a break from school this semester to do just that. Also because I need to refocus myself (after I figure out what I want to do) in order to actually do well in school. Cuz I really see no point in going to school when I'm barely being able to keep afloat. Hopefully this break will allow me to fully identify why I'm having problems with motivation and focus and actually fix them.
That's another reason I've been thinking about joining the military, I think it would help me with the problems I have with motivation and focus. Because, if anything, they do beat that into your head. And maybe that's what I need. *shrug*
But back to job. I need I job. I will get a job. Hopefully close to full time and with decent pay. It's going to happen, it'd going to happen, it's going to happen...dammit.
I still haven't come up with my Martial Arts Resolutions that my Sensei wanted us to do. He wanted each person to write out resolutions for Ninjutsu and for life to discuss with him. He did the same thing last year and I didn't do it then either. It's not supposed to be only of those bullshit resolutions like "I resolve to quit smoking/lose weight/stop getting smashed in Cancun every weekend" that people make every year just because it's expected of them and that they break the next month. (not that there's anything against those specific resolutions, and if you've made them with actual resolve, good for you, and good luck.) The resolutions are supposed to be something for Ninjutsu, something to help better yourself at it, whatever. And then something for your life.
Anyway, I still haven't done it. But because I just can't think of anything that I think is serious, that I can get myself behind. It requires more thought, I shall work on it.
On a Ninjutsu related note, I need to practice my Ukemi. Apparently I put myself in some dangerous situations with the way my body reacts right now to technique. Case in point; today I was training with Brain in my backyard, and popped my ankle in a throw. It was weird, I was going down to the ground, and realized my foot was planted while my leg was moving. And the way my leg was moving, my foot should also be moving. This is a second before I hear *poppop*. The weirder thing was, it didn't hurt. I kinda dismissed it, because my joints pop all the time, though this was a much louder pop. Then I stood up and went for another punch when I realized "Hey, this fucking HURTS a bit". So, I promptly went inside and did nothing about it because I have no ice nor any ankle wraps. Still is kinda sore, but I can walk on it now, plus it's not visibly swollen nor some odd color. So figure I'll be ok.
Course the last time something like this happened it turned out I had popped my collarbone out of place and it took me a week to get it fixed.
ANYWAY, I need to start doing break falls, and all kinds of rolls around my back yard for at least an hour a day. Actually I need to do more training period for at least a couple hours a day. But we'll start with Ukemi...and left handed punches...and right handed punches...and Kamae...and flexibility. I need to stretch more as well, especially my back backwards. Arches ahoy!
I need to start reading more too. Used to be, I'd always have my nose buried in a book. Now, my "too be read" list just keeps getting longer and longer. I think part of the problem is that I want to take notes and stuff on the books as well, and that might be a tall order for the first read through. So maybe I'll just read through them, then go back and take notes on them (at least the ones that are meant to teach me something.)
But yea, book list. As of now it looks like this
- Musashi: Eiji Yoshikawa
- Musashi's Book of Five Rings
- Shogun: James Clavell
- The Art of War: Sun Tzu
- Atom: Isaac Asimov
- Beginnings: Isaac Asimov
- Dreams of Terror and Death: H.P. Lovecraft
- The Voyage of the Beagle: Charles Darwin
- The Origin of Species: Charles Darwin
- Understanding Physics: Isaac Asimov
- Marine Biology
- Intro to Criminal Justice
- Intermediate Algebra
- America; The Book: Jon Stewart
- All the Ninjutsu books I have
- Compilation of Japanese Tales
So yea, pretty hefty list there. But I'll get through it...eventually.
Man, my ankle is bothering me. But I don't want to have to take painkillers. Course it probably doesn't help that I keep moving it around.
I was talking with Brian earlier today and he was talking about how I should start thinking about why I am doing Ninjutsu. Well, rethinking. That was first question asked of us when we walked into the Dojo for the first time. It makes sense though, my reasons have changed dramatically and I'm sure they will again. And at this point in my training I do think it's a good idea to re-visit the question in order to further myself in this and my life, possibly. The point was made that if you train to live then your life will get better. Not magically, or instantly through some weird way. Without getting all Zen and shit on your ass (well, I'm gonna try) if you apply the feeling that you are training to live to your life then the perspective that you view your life from can change. Making it all training (because fundamentally, it all is training). So in that way, you are living through your training if that makes sense. As he put it "What do you need to lead a happy life? A life". So, that way you're on the way to your happy life.
This is all broken up and not flowing because I just realized that it's 12:30am and I'm kinda tired.
I did kinda go on a bit though. Well, if you got this far congratulations. You're entitled to a free cookie from Mrs. Fields. And if they don't give it to you...well, tough shit. Do with them what you will.