I found my naked penguin column!!!!!!!
This mama talk is from november of 2005, i wrote it the morning of the day i went on bedrest. It's one of my favorites and I thought it was lost forever, but ta da!!!! For your reading enjoyment. Be nostalgic with me, it's really fun :-)
My march for a naked penguin
By Suzanne DeSelms
I complain too much. It's even worse if you know me in person. People ask me how I'm doing and I actually tell them! I whine about not sleeping, about being beat black and blue from the inside, about Braxton Hicks contractions and pretty much anything else. As exciting as it once was to be pregnant, I'm now just counting down the days until it's over.
That's about when the penguins gave me a swift kick in the butt. Now, I know I'm terribly behind the times, but I only recently saw "March of the Penguins." Here's a quick briefing, if you're unfamiliar with the film:
It's about penguins. That's it. No frills. No gimmicks. No special effects. No actors. Rated G. Now, I thought to myself, that's my kind of movie. I get upset so easily these days, watching any Hollywood-esque films is out of the question. I cry at commercials, for goodness' sake. But surely the penguin movie will be safe ...
Right. I made it all the way until the first baby penguin died. Then the tears just exploded. These penguins, you wouldn't even believe what they go through for their children. They live outside in the cold with no shelter. They sit on their fragile eggs all day, waiting. If the egg hits the ground, the baby dies instantly. The penguin parents have to take turns taking care of the baby while the other walks for miles to get food.
I walked out of that movie feeling just terrible. So what if my back aches? At least I have food to eat and a warm house to live in. Sure, my baby is due in winter, but I don't have to worry about the cold claiming him when he's only a few hours old. And labor? That's nothing compared with starving for so long that I lose 50 percent of my body weight just trying to keep the baby warm. So many penguins die trying to bring their children into the world. I have it so good. I am so lucky.
However, knowing myself as well as I do, I figured I'd need a constant reminder. It wouldn't be long before the effects of the movie wore off and I was back to my whiny self again. So I decided to find myself a penguin for when I have my baby. It could be a stuffed one to use as a focal point, or maybe penguins on a shirt that I could wear while I give birth.
This seems like an optimal time of year to find penguin paraphernalia, but I kept running into the same problem over and over: They don't make realistic penguins. They make them with little hats and scarves riding on sleds. Now see, if the penguins were wearing hats and scarves, it would defeat the whole motivational purpose. So, I dragged my husband all over Twin Falls, searching for some kind of realistic-looking penguin. It seemed hopeless.
At Target, an employee noticed my frustration and offered help. Instead of explaining everything from the beginning, I just told her all the penguins were dressed and asked whether she had any naked ones. She looked at me like I was from Mars and then, to my horror, took out her walkie-talkie and asked every other employee, "Uh, ... do we have any naked penguins?"
My husband and I were so embarrassed that we just left in a fit of giggles. Pregnancy sure motivates you to do some strange things. I don't even care that much that everyone thought I was crazy. I do feel pretty bad for him, though.
Weeks later, I still don't have any penguin-adorned clothing, but I did find a realistic-looking stuffed penguin at Michaels. I simply cut off his red scarf, and he was ready to go. I hope I am, too.
Times-News copy editor Suzanne DeSelms was very excited that both her mother and her grandmother came to her baby shower. She can be reached at 735-3232 or sdeselms@magicvalley.com, especially if you know where she can find penguins.
Don't call that number though. I very much do not work there anymore. :-)
My march for a naked penguin
By Suzanne DeSelms
I complain too much. It's even worse if you know me in person. People ask me how I'm doing and I actually tell them! I whine about not sleeping, about being beat black and blue from the inside, about Braxton Hicks contractions and pretty much anything else. As exciting as it once was to be pregnant, I'm now just counting down the days until it's over.
That's about when the penguins gave me a swift kick in the butt. Now, I know I'm terribly behind the times, but I only recently saw "March of the Penguins." Here's a quick briefing, if you're unfamiliar with the film:
It's about penguins. That's it. No frills. No gimmicks. No special effects. No actors. Rated G. Now, I thought to myself, that's my kind of movie. I get upset so easily these days, watching any Hollywood-esque films is out of the question. I cry at commercials, for goodness' sake. But surely the penguin movie will be safe ...
Right. I made it all the way until the first baby penguin died. Then the tears just exploded. These penguins, you wouldn't even believe what they go through for their children. They live outside in the cold with no shelter. They sit on their fragile eggs all day, waiting. If the egg hits the ground, the baby dies instantly. The penguin parents have to take turns taking care of the baby while the other walks for miles to get food.
I walked out of that movie feeling just terrible. So what if my back aches? At least I have food to eat and a warm house to live in. Sure, my baby is due in winter, but I don't have to worry about the cold claiming him when he's only a few hours old. And labor? That's nothing compared with starving for so long that I lose 50 percent of my body weight just trying to keep the baby warm. So many penguins die trying to bring their children into the world. I have it so good. I am so lucky.
However, knowing myself as well as I do, I figured I'd need a constant reminder. It wouldn't be long before the effects of the movie wore off and I was back to my whiny self again. So I decided to find myself a penguin for when I have my baby. It could be a stuffed one to use as a focal point, or maybe penguins on a shirt that I could wear while I give birth.
This seems like an optimal time of year to find penguin paraphernalia, but I kept running into the same problem over and over: They don't make realistic penguins. They make them with little hats and scarves riding on sleds. Now see, if the penguins were wearing hats and scarves, it would defeat the whole motivational purpose. So, I dragged my husband all over Twin Falls, searching for some kind of realistic-looking penguin. It seemed hopeless.
At Target, an employee noticed my frustration and offered help. Instead of explaining everything from the beginning, I just told her all the penguins were dressed and asked whether she had any naked ones. She looked at me like I was from Mars and then, to my horror, took out her walkie-talkie and asked every other employee, "Uh, ... do we have any naked penguins?"
My husband and I were so embarrassed that we just left in a fit of giggles. Pregnancy sure motivates you to do some strange things. I don't even care that much that everyone thought I was crazy. I do feel pretty bad for him, though.
Weeks later, I still don't have any penguin-adorned clothing, but I did find a realistic-looking stuffed penguin at Michaels. I simply cut off his red scarf, and he was ready to go. I hope I am, too.
Times-News copy editor Suzanne DeSelms was very excited that both her mother and her grandmother came to her baby shower. She can be reached at 735-3232 or sdeselms@magicvalley.com, especially if you know where she can find penguins.
Don't call that number though. I very much do not work there anymore. :-)