Dear children
Dear Ben,
I am so sorry. I'm sorry that I was young and stupid and didn't know to do my own research and ask questions and believe in my body. I'm sorry that I could have done so much better and it didn't even occur to me to try.
Love,
your mama
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I am borrowing Ina May's Guide to Childbirth from my friend Kelly and have devoured most of it in less than two days. It is definitely more helpful than the other book I purchased. (Name of book escaped from pregnant brain ...) Today, while Ben was watching a movie, we were cuddling and I was reading the book, and came across the chapter on induction.
If you've read Ben's birth story, you know that I was proud to declare that I was NOT induced, that I made it to 4 centimeters (active labor) on my own, and was only given something to speed up the contractions. (Not make them more intense, as Pitocin does, said the nurse.) It was a little white pill. I never heard the name of it. I do remember her explaining that it's use in laboring women was an off-label use, but that it was very effective and a ton cheaper than Pitocin. I've always been curious what it was, but haven't ever come across anything about it.
Until today.
It's called Cytotec (Misoprostol is the generic name) and it's responsible for all sorts of horror. Infant deaths, fetal deaths, maternal deaths, maternal hysterectomies ... the list goes on. Time started to stand still when I saw that 25 percent of babies whose births were induced with this drug end up in the NICU.
Tears poured down my face. Why couldn't I have just asked something dumb and simple, like "What are the risks? Are there any known side-effects or complications?" No. I just took it, happy that I would be having my baby sooner rather than later. And this was at a BIRTHING CENTER!!!!! I can't even imagine all the horrors that women endure in standard medical hospitals.
All I can do know is keep reading, keep learning, and keep passing the information along. Maybe someone else can be spared what we went through. The worst part of it is that no one told me. No one bothered to tell me, even after things went so horribly wrong, that it might be related to that little white pill. Maybe they didn't even know? I'm not sure which is worse.
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Dear New Baby,
You will be brought into the world with only love, no fear. In your own time, in our own place. No one will take you from me. I vow this to you. Your birth will be filled with beauty and peace. I am strong. We are strong. We will do this together.
Love,
your mama
I am so sorry. I'm sorry that I was young and stupid and didn't know to do my own research and ask questions and believe in my body. I'm sorry that I could have done so much better and it didn't even occur to me to try.
Love,
your mama
***************************
I am borrowing Ina May's Guide to Childbirth from my friend Kelly and have devoured most of it in less than two days. It is definitely more helpful than the other book I purchased. (Name of book escaped from pregnant brain ...) Today, while Ben was watching a movie, we were cuddling and I was reading the book, and came across the chapter on induction.
If you've read Ben's birth story, you know that I was proud to declare that I was NOT induced, that I made it to 4 centimeters (active labor) on my own, and was only given something to speed up the contractions. (Not make them more intense, as Pitocin does, said the nurse.) It was a little white pill. I never heard the name of it. I do remember her explaining that it's use in laboring women was an off-label use, but that it was very effective and a ton cheaper than Pitocin. I've always been curious what it was, but haven't ever come across anything about it.
Until today.
It's called Cytotec (Misoprostol is the generic name) and it's responsible for all sorts of horror. Infant deaths, fetal deaths, maternal deaths, maternal hysterectomies ... the list goes on. Time started to stand still when I saw that 25 percent of babies whose births were induced with this drug end up in the NICU.
Tears poured down my face. Why couldn't I have just asked something dumb and simple, like "What are the risks? Are there any known side-effects or complications?" No. I just took it, happy that I would be having my baby sooner rather than later. And this was at a BIRTHING CENTER!!!!! I can't even imagine all the horrors that women endure in standard medical hospitals.
All I can do know is keep reading, keep learning, and keep passing the information along. Maybe someone else can be spared what we went through. The worst part of it is that no one told me. No one bothered to tell me, even after things went so horribly wrong, that it might be related to that little white pill. Maybe they didn't even know? I'm not sure which is worse.
*************************
Dear New Baby,
You will be brought into the world with only love, no fear. In your own time, in our own place. No one will take you from me. I vow this to you. Your birth will be filled with beauty and peace. I am strong. We are strong. We will do this together.
Love,
your mama