Painfully Unfunny Office Antics
It's hard to capture the true essence of those people in your office- the unsuccessful jokers. There are some people in your office- who genuinely make you laugh- and thank god for them. But then- there are the people who THINK they are really comedic-you know- side splitting snorting your milk out your nose funny- and they actually aren't. These people make me so fucking tired. I used to do the polite semi-chuckle....to validate their efforts but now I have found I actually feel PUT UPON to waste a gu-faww on them and their lame jokes. I don't know what caused this shift in my attitude- but it's here full force.
Take for example the head of one of our departments here- which shall remain unamed. He's a whack job of the highest order. A bizarre balding man in his 50's with snow white hair, a wacky (not in the good way) sense of humor and no social skills what so ever. He is still quoting Napoleon Dynamite. It's something akin to people who still use the "You Go Girl" phrase...which I didn't even like when it was fresh. It's doubly irritating as it's about 8 years stale now. Anyway- he doesn't really do much from what we can all see...there have been some issues with him and his whole department as of late- him not getting some really important things resolved that effect the firm as a whole. He dropped the ball on something really important-an issue which was trackable by email as having been put into his responsibility which he subsequently said he had no knowledge of. He decided to take a few days off after that. Yeah. So anyway- last Thursday he came back to work- and I don't usually see him as he's on the thrid floor and I am on the second- but he was purposefully walking around the office- IN A GREY POMADORE WIG. Yeah. We're all busy working dude....but he's walking around FORCING people to reckognize his stupid, tepid jokes about the hairclub for men. Ok. Maybe sorta funny- a 3 on a scale of 1-10. About 50% of the studio acknowledges him and validates the moron. FRIDAY he does the same thing. Walks around the office in the grey poofy wig...not WHILE he is working...but just as an aside....He's still trying to get milage out of the same LAME_ASS attempt at humor. I'm over it. Today we had a company meeting- so all 200+ employees are gathered closely into the reception area on the third floor. We only do these twice a year- so generally they are pretty tightly scheduled with the head honchos imparting pertinent information, introducing new hires from the past few months and maybe handing out a few pats on the back for accomplishments with large projects. Doofus interupts the company meeting- before one of the partners is about to speak- and starts talking about the SECURITY measures in the office- and yeah- pulls out the grey wig and plops it on his head. It illicites a groan here and there- the polite chuckles I had previously mentioned- but overall you can feel the tired-ness in the air. People rolling eyes- hoping for quick movement onto something else- cause what little laughs they may have are quickly running short. It's fucking unbearable.
I think I hate feeling forced to do the polite laugh almost as much as I hate strange people in crowds touching me. Why must I laugh to SPARE your feelings? Shouldn't I expect more of you- that this sad mediocrity? Don't you want to be BETTER than you are now? Don't you want to be GEUINELY funny?
It's not just white wig guy either- I find this is also the case with a few others in the office- a few months ago this number cruncher on the third floor made a comment about me "protecting" my boss like a little bull dog. Now every time she comes down to my desk she always cranes her head around looking for the VP and laughs and asks me if I am "protecting" him right now. YES. I am "protecting" my boss because he has more IMPORTANT things to do that split financial hairs with you once a day when he has to get DRAWINGS out for deadline...so that he can actually MAKE some of that money for the company that you shuffle around every week.
Or there is the architect in my studio who always does the SAME joke about "sneaking" candy from my desk. He pretends to hide behind the column near my desk- then he pretends to steal something from the communal candy/cookies..... DUDE. It's IN that bowl on my desk cause it's THERE for people to take! The first time he did it I gave the pleasent smile and said " naw- of course- You know those are there for who ever to take....help yourself." But the 30th time I just don't have it in me. He attempts the joke and I keep staring STRAIGHT AHEAD at my monitor typing away as if I don't see him standing right in front of me. So he STARES at me-intently- his presence silently DEMANDS my attention. Fuck that. I'm cold as ice. I suppose it doesn't help that he's also sort of creepy and compliments me in ways that makes me feel like I need a good long shower.
Don't get me wrong- the majority of people I work with are either sweet, cool or funny- but man- that minority that aren't- they give me the screaming irrates.
Take for example the head of one of our departments here- which shall remain unamed. He's a whack job of the highest order. A bizarre balding man in his 50's with snow white hair, a wacky (not in the good way) sense of humor and no social skills what so ever. He is still quoting Napoleon Dynamite. It's something akin to people who still use the "You Go Girl" phrase...which I didn't even like when it was fresh. It's doubly irritating as it's about 8 years stale now. Anyway- he doesn't really do much from what we can all see...there have been some issues with him and his whole department as of late- him not getting some really important things resolved that effect the firm as a whole. He dropped the ball on something really important-an issue which was trackable by email as having been put into his responsibility which he subsequently said he had no knowledge of. He decided to take a few days off after that. Yeah. So anyway- last Thursday he came back to work- and I don't usually see him as he's on the thrid floor and I am on the second- but he was purposefully walking around the office- IN A GREY POMADORE WIG. Yeah. We're all busy working dude....but he's walking around FORCING people to reckognize his stupid, tepid jokes about the hairclub for men. Ok. Maybe sorta funny- a 3 on a scale of 1-10. About 50% of the studio acknowledges him and validates the moron. FRIDAY he does the same thing. Walks around the office in the grey poofy wig...not WHILE he is working...but just as an aside....He's still trying to get milage out of the same LAME_ASS attempt at humor. I'm over it. Today we had a company meeting- so all 200+ employees are gathered closely into the reception area on the third floor. We only do these twice a year- so generally they are pretty tightly scheduled with the head honchos imparting pertinent information, introducing new hires from the past few months and maybe handing out a few pats on the back for accomplishments with large projects. Doofus interupts the company meeting- before one of the partners is about to speak- and starts talking about the SECURITY measures in the office- and yeah- pulls out the grey wig and plops it on his head. It illicites a groan here and there- the polite chuckles I had previously mentioned- but overall you can feel the tired-ness in the air. People rolling eyes- hoping for quick movement onto something else- cause what little laughs they may have are quickly running short. It's fucking unbearable.
I think I hate feeling forced to do the polite laugh almost as much as I hate strange people in crowds touching me. Why must I laugh to SPARE your feelings? Shouldn't I expect more of you- that this sad mediocrity? Don't you want to be BETTER than you are now? Don't you want to be GEUINELY funny?
It's not just white wig guy either- I find this is also the case with a few others in the office- a few months ago this number cruncher on the third floor made a comment about me "protecting" my boss like a little bull dog. Now every time she comes down to my desk she always cranes her head around looking for the VP and laughs and asks me if I am "protecting" him right now. YES. I am "protecting" my boss because he has more IMPORTANT things to do that split financial hairs with you once a day when he has to get DRAWINGS out for deadline...so that he can actually MAKE some of that money for the company that you shuffle around every week.
Or there is the architect in my studio who always does the SAME joke about "sneaking" candy from my desk. He pretends to hide behind the column near my desk- then he pretends to steal something from the communal candy/cookies..... DUDE. It's IN that bowl on my desk cause it's THERE for people to take! The first time he did it I gave the pleasent smile and said " naw- of course- You know those are there for who ever to take....help yourself." But the 30th time I just don't have it in me. He attempts the joke and I keep staring STRAIGHT AHEAD at my monitor typing away as if I don't see him standing right in front of me. So he STARES at me-intently- his presence silently DEMANDS my attention. Fuck that. I'm cold as ice. I suppose it doesn't help that he's also sort of creepy and compliments me in ways that makes me feel like I need a good long shower.
Don't get me wrong- the majority of people I work with are either sweet, cool or funny- but man- that minority that aren't- they give me the screaming irrates.