Save Yourself
Last night.... round 3.... interesting. We had some serious fun and I don't think there could have been any more making out or boob grabbing if we wanted there to be. lmao. ok... enough said really.
Thank you all (ok most of you) for coming into Ruthie's to visit this morning too. I know that you really just wanted to eat and it had nothing to do with me but it made me happy... even though I didn't act it... maybe that's because I had to wait on you (and gave Laura the tip for it) AND had to cook for you. And the lack of sleep, lovely cold, (thank you to Joshy washy applesaucy aka Stacey's new boyfriend and I apologize to everyone at the party who will undoubtedly get the cold now), and PMS. Yeah ok I was bitchy, I won't lie. lol.
So basically with the exception of people coming to visit, lets not leave unnoted that Shaun came in with his mommy too and didn't really get to talk to me while I was working (since I was doing 2 people jobs! Can you tell I'm really not happy that I had to do her fucking job TOO! I have my own and it was bad enough!) but he said the food was awesome later while we were talking, work sucked. (Wow talk about going off on a tangent huh? or like every sentence I go off on one. Like right now.)
Then I dropped my bro off at home, saw Amanda who was here but didn't get to talk to her long, went back to Stacey's, showered, went and got Cindy and brought her back to JWU in RI, and then came home. Needless to say it has been a long ass day. I'm tired, I'm sick, I have homework to do that I have to post on the internet by tomorrow so my poor group can do their assignment, and I really need to clean the room that I haven't lived in for 2 weeks now, and I'm sitting here for some reason, can't sleep, can't make myself feel better, and definitely not doing homework, and I'm afraid to be noisy when I'm cleaning. So I sit here whinning. I'm not even trying to whine. It's just working out that way. lol.
Anyway all I really wanted to say is, this weekend was AWESOME! ALL of it! It had some bad parts but even those were worth it. I learned something new every night and I got a lot of confidence boosters over the course of 3 days. Confidence boosters that I needed. Oh and Ashley said I looked gorgeous last night so props to her for being so God damn AMAZING!
So I guess that's it. My head is cleared... well my thoughts are cleared... to be honest my head is SUPER stuffy and I can barely breathe! lol. I've figured everything out and I'm happy with being me and seeing what happens next. I realized that everything I do, good or bad, is an adventure. It's something new to learn and see and think about and talk about and give advice and help about and practice and just DO! It's my life and I'm ready to live it.
And I also have a new song that I am more than head over heels in love with. Thank you Katie B for being so damn awesome and suggesting this song. It says everything I think sometimes and everything I feel now. I just want someone to love me for me and I plan on waiting for and finding that guy. I may make some mistakes along the way but I'll know... and I'll learn and I'll grow. And I'm gonna love every bit of it. And someone is gonna love me for me someday.... and he's the one I'm looking for.
Save Yourself
by Sense Field
Turn out the light
Just say goodnight to yourself
May I remind you
When you find you
Are all alone is when you
You’ve got to be strong
That’s when they call you in the night
He’s got your picture in his mind
He’s got your number on a paper
At his disposal anytime
Is it really true
Did you save yourself
For someone who could love you for you
So many times we just give it away
To someone who
Someone who
You met in a bar
The back of a car
And for a moment
You felt important
But not in your heart
Cuz my self esteem
It’s been low
Go ahead and count,
It’s been lower than low
I know the feeling
Of it stealing life out from under me
Cuz I want to learn
How you save yourself
For someone who
Could love you for you
So many times we just give it away
To someone who couldn’t even remember your name
Did you save yourself
For someone who loves you for you
And loves me for me
Give it away
To someone who
Someone who
Can cherish your name
Cuz I want to learn
Did you save yourself
For someone who
Loves you for you
And loves me for me
Give it away
To someone who
Someone who
Can cherish your name
Cherish your name
The way I see this song may not make sense to you. But I love it.... and it says exactly what I feel.
I love you all!
Thank you all (ok most of you) for coming into Ruthie's to visit this morning too. I know that you really just wanted to eat and it had nothing to do with me but it made me happy... even though I didn't act it... maybe that's because I had to wait on you (and gave Laura the tip for it) AND had to cook for you. And the lack of sleep, lovely cold, (thank you to Joshy washy applesaucy aka Stacey's new boyfriend and I apologize to everyone at the party who will undoubtedly get the cold now), and PMS. Yeah ok I was bitchy, I won't lie. lol.
So basically with the exception of people coming to visit, lets not leave unnoted that Shaun came in with his mommy too and didn't really get to talk to me while I was working (since I was doing 2 people jobs! Can you tell I'm really not happy that I had to do her fucking job TOO! I have my own and it was bad enough!) but he said the food was awesome later while we were talking, work sucked. (Wow talk about going off on a tangent huh? or like every sentence I go off on one. Like right now.)
Then I dropped my bro off at home, saw Amanda who was here but didn't get to talk to her long, went back to Stacey's, showered, went and got Cindy and brought her back to JWU in RI, and then came home. Needless to say it has been a long ass day. I'm tired, I'm sick, I have homework to do that I have to post on the internet by tomorrow so my poor group can do their assignment, and I really need to clean the room that I haven't lived in for 2 weeks now, and I'm sitting here for some reason, can't sleep, can't make myself feel better, and definitely not doing homework, and I'm afraid to be noisy when I'm cleaning. So I sit here whinning. I'm not even trying to whine. It's just working out that way. lol.
Anyway all I really wanted to say is, this weekend was AWESOME! ALL of it! It had some bad parts but even those were worth it. I learned something new every night and I got a lot of confidence boosters over the course of 3 days. Confidence boosters that I needed. Oh and Ashley said I looked gorgeous last night so props to her for being so God damn AMAZING!
So I guess that's it. My head is cleared... well my thoughts are cleared... to be honest my head is SUPER stuffy and I can barely breathe! lol. I've figured everything out and I'm happy with being me and seeing what happens next. I realized that everything I do, good or bad, is an adventure. It's something new to learn and see and think about and talk about and give advice and help about and practice and just DO! It's my life and I'm ready to live it.
And I also have a new song that I am more than head over heels in love with. Thank you Katie B for being so damn awesome and suggesting this song. It says everything I think sometimes and everything I feel now. I just want someone to love me for me and I plan on waiting for and finding that guy. I may make some mistakes along the way but I'll know... and I'll learn and I'll grow. And I'm gonna love every bit of it. And someone is gonna love me for me someday.... and he's the one I'm looking for.
Save Yourself
by Sense Field
Turn out the light
Just say goodnight to yourself
May I remind you
When you find you
Are all alone is when you
You’ve got to be strong
That’s when they call you in the night
He’s got your picture in his mind
He’s got your number on a paper
At his disposal anytime
Is it really true
Did you save yourself
For someone who could love you for you
So many times we just give it away
To someone who
Someone who
You met in a bar
The back of a car
And for a moment
You felt important
But not in your heart
Cuz my self esteem
It’s been low
Go ahead and count,
It’s been lower than low
I know the feeling
Of it stealing life out from under me
Cuz I want to learn
How you save yourself
For someone who
Could love you for you
So many times we just give it away
To someone who couldn’t even remember your name
Did you save yourself
For someone who loves you for you
And loves me for me
Give it away
To someone who
Someone who
Can cherish your name
Cuz I want to learn
Did you save yourself
For someone who
Loves you for you
And loves me for me
Give it away
To someone who
Someone who
Can cherish your name
Cherish your name
The way I see this song may not make sense to you. But I love it.... and it says exactly what I feel.
I love you all!