Today
Well, I had a good end to yesterday. Sitting at work for six hours in my head was not good for me. I went to a dark place real fast. Four of my friends from the half way house came to pick me up from work and we went out to eat afterwards. It's so nice to have such awesome people to hang out with. That really made my day. Afterwards we made it back in time to catch the meeting and there was a really good speaker. I enjoyed his story very much. It was a great end to the day. Plus, yesterday morning I made up with John who had not been talking to me over some stupid shit. We walked over to a park and did a lot of kissing. It was super nice. It's crazy how being sober brings back all of your feelings. I actually got butterflies in my tummy. WOW. I don't remember the last time I felt that. It made me feel like I as 15 again. I've been craving someones touch too. It's crazy how little things can mean so much again. The soft kiss of some juicy lips... the feel of a hand sliding down your cheek. I laughed last night like a hyper 13 year old. Laughed til I could feel it in my stomach muscles. I'm just realizing how numb I had made myself with all of the drugs. I never want to live like that again. I want to feel everything. I want to embrace it. The good. The bad. All of it! I feel like I'm living life again. I can't sit still anymore. I have so much time to make up for. I've hit the road running and I don't plan on slowing down any time soon. I've walked into the light and the sun feels good on my skin. I won't turn around. I won't even look back over my shoulder. The past is behind me and I refuse to dwell in it. My eyes are on the future and the picture is getting more clear by the second. I'm picking up my paint brush again and I'm gonna paint my sky with every color possible. The dark is fading faster by the second. I can smile, and the smile won't leave my face once it's there. Watch out.