GET READY AGAIN.
ainting Spells
I fainted twice this morn,
Against all will and pride
For something in my mind
Requests to shut my eye
All limbs limp, and fragile
Body found where body lay
A morning dream thereafter
Is my reality.
I fainted twice this morn,
I can't seem to understand
Why my body chose this day
To fall from reason's hand.
Stumble on ev'ry crag
In all physical realms
My mind prepaired today
A body's fall from grace.
....................................................................
I am so hollow
Without you.
I am missing
the one that's true
Where are you?
My missing piece?
The one that's
reserved for me.
I can't feel complete
until you hold me in your arms.
My other half, my one true love, I will find you one day.
.........................................................................
I Am...
Current mood: All of the above.
"Because even if you don't mean what you say about yourself, the very action of stating it is the manifestation of that quality in your life."
I am:
Amazing
Articulate
Arousing
Abnormal
Artistic
Admirable
Beautiful
Benevolent
Bouncy
Calm
Caring
Cautious
Cannibalistic!
Cooperative
Crazy!
Cheerful
Casual
Charismatic
Creative
Deliberate
Deep
Decisive
Daring
Elated
Enegmatic
Elegant
Easy-going
Free-spirited
Flirtatious
Fun
Funny
Factual
Flamboyant
Fiery
Fantastic
Forgiving
Flexible
Grave
Giddy
Gutsy
Glad
Good
Generous
Greatful
Gleeful
Helpful
Hedonistic
Honest
Handy
Heartfelt
Harry!
Intelligent
Intentional
Ingratiating
Intangable
Illuminating
Introspective
Inherent-oriented
Independent
Jolly
Jovial
Joyful
Just
Knock-out
Keen
Kissable
Kind
Karma-conscious
Loving
Loyal
Loud
Lending
Learning
Leper!
Laird!
Mindful
Meaningful
Meticulous
Merry!
Meditative
Mischievious
Maternal
Natural
Nice
Neat!
Necessary
Nostalgic
ORGASMIC!
Operative
Outgoing
Obediant
Outstanding
Ostentatious
Pensive
Palatable
Pleasing
Prefering
Present
Performative
Performing
Persevering
Profound
Poetic
Patient
Peaceful
Proud
Quixotic
Questioning
Qualitative
Restless
Reassuring
Romantic
Relative
Remarkable
Relaxed
Reliable
Sound
Sensual
Sensitive
Silly!!
Sarcastic
Sane (thats still to be debated)
Satiating
Tasteful
Talented
Terrific!
Unbelieevable
Up-front
Unwavering
Valiant
Valuable
Wild
Wierd
Wonderful
Wandering
X-treme!
Zephyrous
Zealous
........................................................
Thats right, kiddies.
Sweetest day is Saturday, October 21st. Or some shit
So go out and do the most patriotic thing you can do for your sweetie, and this country...
GO BUY SOMETHING.
Help support the fat cat economy by using your freedom of purchase!
There are so many things to buy:
High-calorie low nutrition chocolates, cross-bred genetically engineered roses that are guanarteed not to have any natural scent and wilt within the week, and non-recycled cards produced by money-grubbing corporations that own everything in existence (except your soul, remember that, kids!) that continues to stiffle creativity and discourage honest heartfelt sensitive expression because its much easier to buy some meaning for $3.49 instead of sit down and think of something yourself!!!
:breath:
Seriously though Chris. I am expecting something. ;)
Remember your sweetie, and be a true American!
-Cece
....................................................
Memories
As tides crash,
and wheels turn,
so does time,
and life grows.
And as our time,
for great things has,
come and gone again,
and memories last...
And memories last,
beyond all fear,
persevering dreams,
passing events.
Thus, the memories,
is what I'll revere-
And, your faded face,
shall fall among tears.
.....................................................................
WANTED:
Someone to preserve my insides.
Sanity and salary not guaranteed.
Someone to hold me, the way God used to.
Someone. Anyone. To take away my pain.
Must be bright, light, and full of insight.
Must be scape-goat ready.
Must be clervoiant, psychic, able to read thoughts, to know, without saying, everything I need.
Must be you. Or you. Or you.
Must be anyone in the world.
Who can possibly meet my specific specificatiations?
Must be..
Must be..
Must be me.
................................................
A curious woman is a dangerous thing...
I am just now realizing the nature of the beast, at the tender age of 19, (or maybe early for my age? Eh?) I am finally seeing what so many others have seen before. I am beginning to see myself as men tend to see me; an object, a thing, a thing with legs, tits, and a great big juicy ass. A thing to fuck, a thing to buy drinks for to fuck, a pretty face... I can now see myself, the thing in the mirror.
Yes, I suffer from object-itis. Just as almost every woman does, I lay claim to victimry as well. Worse than any slow-taking fatal death, we never reach salvation from our disease.
No, we just let it spread throughout ourselves until we become what we've been lead to believe...an object. Symptoms may include: orange-baked skin, brittle and breakable bones, witch-broom dyed hair, and irrepairable cuticles from all the fucking fake french manicures.
Worst of all, our minds and eyes suffer. We only see how we are treated, and wonder why we recieve such treatment... our only deduction: our worth lies in our bodies. This lie we believe until it is truth. Until we become stale, empty shells of humanoid women.
Our death, from this culture-soaked disease, is a walking, living, and non-eating one. We pantamime life, our nightmere, until the Earth claims our bodies once again.
But really...
Can you blame us? All of these cancer-patient whores just lapping up the attention? Because we are objects of greatness. Because we are worth something when men pretend like we are. Because we desire power, as all creatures of this planet do; it is only appeased when we can look at some fat ugly chick in the face and feel completely secure and safe in our little skinny bodies. We achieve "happiness" through someone else's "failure". We compare and compete with eachother. Like it's one big fucking beauty pageant. But for what prize?
Little skinny bodies like little skinny cages. With immesuable constraining power.
My body is a cage, so I will adorn it like a palace.
No. I don't really believe this 10-minute reality I've built here. I have way too much faith in humanity (and the inherent goodness resting in the breasts of both genders)
...and because I'm an optimist who can't escape her neivity.
I just get upset. I get upset when I look in the mirror, and all I see is a stale empty shell of what used to be. I get upset when I am treated as such, some thing to fuck. I get upset when my physical appearance is the first thing someone (unavoidantly) sees...
And I get upset when I treat myself as the thing to fuck. The thing to dress-up and make-up, the thing to puppetier at parties, the thing to pluck, tuck, pinch, poke, weigh, shave, moisturize, condition, and feed!
I am a human being with a spirit and brain. With worries and problems, money, memories, strengths, weaknesses, and a great big world-reality-perception. I lay claim to ALL of those things before I lay claim to my vagina.
I am a human being before I am a WOMAN. And I am woman, not ever an object.
You know, sometimes I look in the mirror and I am shocked by what I see. Not stark ugliness, and not twisted self-image.
But beauty. Real, honest beauty is staring back at me. And I am shocked.
-Cece
P.S.- I want to make it very clear I do not assume every man, or even every straight man treats women in which I've described. I have been treated very, very, very well by many men. (My father, my boyfriend, and friends, to name a few). What set me off was work tonight. An overload of assumptions about who I am based solely upon what I look like. It caused this explosion.
But like I said, I have faith that sexism is slowly dying. And honestly, I wouldn't mind being one of its final slayers.
P.S.S.- I also don't assume the position of nazi-femme-speaker for all woman everywhere. My large usage if the term "we" is only a meak and recognizable code for what I really mean to say...which is; "me".
-Cece again-
.........................................................................
I fainted twice this morn,
Against all will and pride
For something in my mind
Requests to shut my eye
All limbs limp, and fragile
Body found where body lay
A morning dream thereafter
Is my reality.
I fainted twice this morn,
I can't seem to understand
Why my body chose this day
To fall from reason's hand.
Stumble on ev'ry crag
In all physical realms
My mind prepaired today
A body's fall from grace.
....................................................................
I am so hollow
Without you.
I am missing
the one that's true
Where are you?
My missing piece?
The one that's
reserved for me.
I can't feel complete
until you hold me in your arms.
My other half, my one true love, I will find you one day.
.........................................................................
I Am...
Current mood: All of the above.
"Because even if you don't mean what you say about yourself, the very action of stating it is the manifestation of that quality in your life."
I am:
Amazing
Articulate
Arousing
Abnormal
Artistic
Admirable
Beautiful
Benevolent
Bouncy
Calm
Caring
Cautious
Cannibalistic!
Cooperative
Crazy!
Cheerful
Casual
Charismatic
Creative
Deliberate
Deep
Decisive
Daring
Elated
Enegmatic
Elegant
Easy-going
Free-spirited
Flirtatious
Fun
Funny
Factual
Flamboyant
Fiery
Fantastic
Forgiving
Flexible
Grave
Giddy
Gutsy
Glad
Good
Generous
Greatful
Gleeful
Helpful
Hedonistic
Honest
Handy
Heartfelt
Harry!
Intelligent
Intentional
Ingratiating
Intangable
Illuminating
Introspective
Inherent-oriented
Independent
Jolly
Jovial
Joyful
Just
Knock-out
Keen
Kissable
Kind
Karma-conscious
Loving
Loyal
Loud
Lending
Learning
Leper!
Laird!
Mindful
Meaningful
Meticulous
Merry!
Meditative
Mischievious
Maternal
Natural
Nice
Neat!
Necessary
Nostalgic
ORGASMIC!
Operative
Outgoing
Obediant
Outstanding
Ostentatious
Pensive
Palatable
Pleasing
Prefering
Present
Performative
Performing
Persevering
Profound
Poetic
Patient
Peaceful
Proud
Quixotic
Questioning
Qualitative
Restless
Reassuring
Romantic
Relative
Remarkable
Relaxed
Reliable
Sound
Sensual
Sensitive
Silly!!
Sarcastic
Sane (thats still to be debated)
Satiating
Tasteful
Talented
Terrific!
Unbelieevable
Up-front
Unwavering
Valiant
Valuable
Wild
Wierd
Wonderful
Wandering
X-treme!
Zephyrous
Zealous
........................................................
Thats right, kiddies.
Sweetest day is Saturday, October 21st. Or some shit
So go out and do the most patriotic thing you can do for your sweetie, and this country...
GO BUY SOMETHING.
Help support the fat cat economy by using your freedom of purchase!
There are so many things to buy:
High-calorie low nutrition chocolates, cross-bred genetically engineered roses that are guanarteed not to have any natural scent and wilt within the week, and non-recycled cards produced by money-grubbing corporations that own everything in existence (except your soul, remember that, kids!) that continues to stiffle creativity and discourage honest heartfelt sensitive expression because its much easier to buy some meaning for $3.49 instead of sit down and think of something yourself!!!
:breath:
Seriously though Chris. I am expecting something. ;)
Remember your sweetie, and be a true American!
-Cece
....................................................
Memories
As tides crash,
and wheels turn,
so does time,
and life grows.
And as our time,
for great things has,
come and gone again,
and memories last...
And memories last,
beyond all fear,
persevering dreams,
passing events.
Thus, the memories,
is what I'll revere-
And, your faded face,
shall fall among tears.
.....................................................................
WANTED:
Someone to preserve my insides.
Sanity and salary not guaranteed.
Someone to hold me, the way God used to.
Someone. Anyone. To take away my pain.
Must be bright, light, and full of insight.
Must be scape-goat ready.
Must be clervoiant, psychic, able to read thoughts, to know, without saying, everything I need.
Must be you. Or you. Or you.
Must be anyone in the world.
Who can possibly meet my specific specificatiations?
Must be..
Must be..
Must be me.
................................................
A curious woman is a dangerous thing...
I am just now realizing the nature of the beast, at the tender age of 19, (or maybe early for my age? Eh?) I am finally seeing what so many others have seen before. I am beginning to see myself as men tend to see me; an object, a thing, a thing with legs, tits, and a great big juicy ass. A thing to fuck, a thing to buy drinks for to fuck, a pretty face... I can now see myself, the thing in the mirror.
Yes, I suffer from object-itis. Just as almost every woman does, I lay claim to victimry as well. Worse than any slow-taking fatal death, we never reach salvation from our disease.
No, we just let it spread throughout ourselves until we become what we've been lead to believe...an object. Symptoms may include: orange-baked skin, brittle and breakable bones, witch-broom dyed hair, and irrepairable cuticles from all the fucking fake french manicures.
Worst of all, our minds and eyes suffer. We only see how we are treated, and wonder why we recieve such treatment... our only deduction: our worth lies in our bodies. This lie we believe until it is truth. Until we become stale, empty shells of humanoid women.
Our death, from this culture-soaked disease, is a walking, living, and non-eating one. We pantamime life, our nightmere, until the Earth claims our bodies once again.
But really...
Can you blame us? All of these cancer-patient whores just lapping up the attention? Because we are objects of greatness. Because we are worth something when men pretend like we are. Because we desire power, as all creatures of this planet do; it is only appeased when we can look at some fat ugly chick in the face and feel completely secure and safe in our little skinny bodies. We achieve "happiness" through someone else's "failure". We compare and compete with eachother. Like it's one big fucking beauty pageant. But for what prize?
Little skinny bodies like little skinny cages. With immesuable constraining power.
My body is a cage, so I will adorn it like a palace.
No. I don't really believe this 10-minute reality I've built here. I have way too much faith in humanity (and the inherent goodness resting in the breasts of both genders)
...and because I'm an optimist who can't escape her neivity.
I just get upset. I get upset when I look in the mirror, and all I see is a stale empty shell of what used to be. I get upset when I am treated as such, some thing to fuck. I get upset when my physical appearance is the first thing someone (unavoidantly) sees...
And I get upset when I treat myself as the thing to fuck. The thing to dress-up and make-up, the thing to puppetier at parties, the thing to pluck, tuck, pinch, poke, weigh, shave, moisturize, condition, and feed!
I am a human being with a spirit and brain. With worries and problems, money, memories, strengths, weaknesses, and a great big world-reality-perception. I lay claim to ALL of those things before I lay claim to my vagina.
I am a human being before I am a WOMAN. And I am woman, not ever an object.
You know, sometimes I look in the mirror and I am shocked by what I see. Not stark ugliness, and not twisted self-image.
But beauty. Real, honest beauty is staring back at me. And I am shocked.
-Cece
P.S.- I want to make it very clear I do not assume every man, or even every straight man treats women in which I've described. I have been treated very, very, very well by many men. (My father, my boyfriend, and friends, to name a few). What set me off was work tonight. An overload of assumptions about who I am based solely upon what I look like. It caused this explosion.
But like I said, I have faith that sexism is slowly dying. And honestly, I wouldn't mind being one of its final slayers.
P.S.S.- I also don't assume the position of nazi-femme-speaker for all woman everywhere. My large usage if the term "we" is only a meak and recognizable code for what I really mean to say...which is; "me".
-Cece again-
.........................................................................