Been A While
About a year, actually. I have this love/hate relationship with blogging publicly. The nature of the beast is publicity, openness, vulnerability. It's a public journal. In my mind, a journal was always a place you could unleash your deepest, darkest, sickest, most honest thoughts, and they were for yourself. Of course I understand there are ways of making those "special" posts only visible to the blogger, but... but... doesn't that defeat the point I just listed above?
At any rate, I desire to be seen, to be read, to feel like I matter in the world of on-line literature. However, I never had enough blogging friends to truly attain that. So I just transformed my public blog to a private one, hoping some lone strangler or distant friend might stumble upon it and say "Wow! Great post! Cece's secrets are THE BEST secrets!" Or something of that silly nature. What I didn't expect, was to give my blog name to people who I would imagine wouldn't want to talk about the things I post publicly, or are affected by it.
Or maybe, I just hadn't yet learned that blogging about a relationship issue is typically a petty and passive-aggressive way of getting someone to talk about it and it just made it awkward for every party involved.
Whew. That out of the way, I just wanted to stop by and give my old forgotten piece of cyber-space a quick brush-up on the current events.
I think it would be more efficient and more interesting (that is to say there is someone other than myself to find interest in it) if instead of listing main events in a chronological order, I might just give you the means of transportation, the fire, the cause, behind the events; and you can take it from there. Let your imagination run wild. Lord knows mine does.
Bottom line is:
I'm changing. I'm changing in ways I could not even know if I had every fortune telling ornament in the world. I am becoming something that cannot be contained by walls of flesh and bone. I go outside of my body, just to come back and know that something is different. I am not who I used to be, and sometimes I don't like who I am.
Most of the time, I am caught in a perpetual state of curiosity with myself, others, and with the world.
I won't be so vague as to not update you on the most important aspects of a young person's life; I'll give you the basics.
Love/Romance: After experiencing empty relationships, one after the other, and feeling a bit sour and perhaps tainted by lovers unwilling to commit (who could blame them), I finally realized the love I was searching for was beside me all along. I just had to let it happen. I can't say I was blind to it, I knew exactly how I felt about him and how he felt about me. But, ce la vie, I fell in love with my best friend's ex boyfriend, Jon. He's been a better friend than the majority of my friends, a teacher, a guide, a secret pass-time, and now he's exactly the kind of man I want in my life, and hopefully, throughout my life. He's moving to Cincy soon. Very soon.
Job/Career: Working at an eclectic shop in the tourist attraction that is Newport on the Levee. It's called Tala's Distant Treasures, and besides a questionable and all-around scummy co-worker, I love it! The pay isn't great, but I'm just glad to have a job in this economy. I love selling our rare finds: drums from Bali, scarves from India, jewelry from Turkey, Jordan, Egypt and Africa, and so much more cool stuff! I've applied to several other places, one that offers security positions (ha ha, me, security?) And I've also applied to wait tables/seat guests at a comedy club. Which brings me to my next point of interest...
School: Still trucking along the education route. It's too tempting to be sucked into switching majors, especially when you're as flighty as I am most days. I've been wanting to change majors to Drama and just do stand-up comedy and acting. I have a horrific stage freight that I would loooove to get over, which is why you can find me at most local Karaoke nights. Though I think if I do it right, I can enjoy the deep satisfaction of creating laughter for myself and others, and also "learn dem chillins howte talk good 'n shit." This is what I say to people when they ask me what I'm going to do with an Education/English degree. Morons. ha ha
Well, that's all for now. As you can see, I've clearly labeled some of the most mediocre parts of the typical young American human condition, (except for love, that's hardly mediocre) so I hope you've enjoyed the update. Talk to you soon, I hope, and have a great life.
Good quote I came up with, inspired by the radio program "Speaking of Faith" on my local NPR station. BTW- Might actually be a bit of nomenclature, or at least a twisted tease. I digress.
"Feast on life. Sit, and eat the best of it. Eat your life and the fire that cooks it."
-Cece
At any rate, I desire to be seen, to be read, to feel like I matter in the world of on-line literature. However, I never had enough blogging friends to truly attain that. So I just transformed my public blog to a private one, hoping some lone strangler or distant friend might stumble upon it and say "Wow! Great post! Cece's secrets are THE BEST secrets!" Or something of that silly nature. What I didn't expect, was to give my blog name to people who I would imagine wouldn't want to talk about the things I post publicly, or are affected by it.
Or maybe, I just hadn't yet learned that blogging about a relationship issue is typically a petty and passive-aggressive way of getting someone to talk about it and it just made it awkward for every party involved.
Whew. That out of the way, I just wanted to stop by and give my old forgotten piece of cyber-space a quick brush-up on the current events.
I think it would be more efficient and more interesting (that is to say there is someone other than myself to find interest in it) if instead of listing main events in a chronological order, I might just give you the means of transportation, the fire, the cause, behind the events; and you can take it from there. Let your imagination run wild. Lord knows mine does.
Bottom line is:
I'm changing. I'm changing in ways I could not even know if I had every fortune telling ornament in the world. I am becoming something that cannot be contained by walls of flesh and bone. I go outside of my body, just to come back and know that something is different. I am not who I used to be, and sometimes I don't like who I am.
Most of the time, I am caught in a perpetual state of curiosity with myself, others, and with the world.
I won't be so vague as to not update you on the most important aspects of a young person's life; I'll give you the basics.
Love/Romance: After experiencing empty relationships, one after the other, and feeling a bit sour and perhaps tainted by lovers unwilling to commit (who could blame them), I finally realized the love I was searching for was beside me all along. I just had to let it happen. I can't say I was blind to it, I knew exactly how I felt about him and how he felt about me. But, ce la vie, I fell in love with my best friend's ex boyfriend, Jon. He's been a better friend than the majority of my friends, a teacher, a guide, a secret pass-time, and now he's exactly the kind of man I want in my life, and hopefully, throughout my life. He's moving to Cincy soon. Very soon.
Job/Career: Working at an eclectic shop in the tourist attraction that is Newport on the Levee. It's called Tala's Distant Treasures, and besides a questionable and all-around scummy co-worker, I love it! The pay isn't great, but I'm just glad to have a job in this economy. I love selling our rare finds: drums from Bali, scarves from India, jewelry from Turkey, Jordan, Egypt and Africa, and so much more cool stuff! I've applied to several other places, one that offers security positions (ha ha, me, security?) And I've also applied to wait tables/seat guests at a comedy club. Which brings me to my next point of interest...
School: Still trucking along the education route. It's too tempting to be sucked into switching majors, especially when you're as flighty as I am most days. I've been wanting to change majors to Drama and just do stand-up comedy and acting. I have a horrific stage freight that I would loooove to get over, which is why you can find me at most local Karaoke nights. Though I think if I do it right, I can enjoy the deep satisfaction of creating laughter for myself and others, and also "learn dem chillins howte talk good 'n shit." This is what I say to people when they ask me what I'm going to do with an Education/English degree. Morons. ha ha
Well, that's all for now. As you can see, I've clearly labeled some of the most mediocre parts of the typical young American human condition, (except for love, that's hardly mediocre) so I hope you've enjoyed the update. Talk to you soon, I hope, and have a great life.
Good quote I came up with, inspired by the radio program "Speaking of Faith" on my local NPR station. BTW- Might actually be a bit of nomenclature, or at least a twisted tease. I digress.
"Feast on life. Sit, and eat the best of it. Eat your life and the fire that cooks it."
-Cece