Some anecdotes from the reign of cthulhu
Wise Cthulhu
There were once two cultists who loved the same woman, and the same woman loved both cultists, if you get my drift. Anyway, these two cultists killed the woman and then each other. In the afterlife they visited ol' Cthulhu, each grabbing hold of half of the woman and tugging for all they were worth.
"Oh great Cthulhu!" They said, grovelling at his very feet, "Both of us love this woman, and she has loved both of us! But she is my woman, not HIS!" Both of them glared at the other and were carrying on in such a manner that it was quite distressful to see. Or would have been, had you not been too busy gibbering in the presence of the Great Cthulhu.
Great Cthulhu pondered, and when he had pondered he rose from his giant throne and reached down with a tentacle to pluck the woman from their grasp. He tore her soul in half and gave half to each of the cultists. Then he ate them all. Everyone else who was at court agreed that this was wisdom indeed.
This Too Will Pass
There is a story that once, Great Cthulhu was feeling rather green around the gills. Tired of the constant changing of emotions--greed to complacency, hunger to satiation--Cthulhu looked to his advisors and said "Bring me one item that will make me complacent when I am greedy, satiated when I am hungry, and all that rot."
His advisors cloistered themselves for days in an attempt to figure out what item would make their lord happy. Eventually they returned with just one small item, a ring bearing the inscription, "This Too Will Pass."
Great Cthulhu recognised the wisdom of his advisors, so he ate all their souls.
There were once two cultists who loved the same woman, and the same woman loved both cultists, if you get my drift. Anyway, these two cultists killed the woman and then each other. In the afterlife they visited ol' Cthulhu, each grabbing hold of half of the woman and tugging for all they were worth.
"Oh great Cthulhu!" They said, grovelling at his very feet, "Both of us love this woman, and she has loved both of us! But she is my woman, not HIS!" Both of them glared at the other and were carrying on in such a manner that it was quite distressful to see. Or would have been, had you not been too busy gibbering in the presence of the Great Cthulhu.
Great Cthulhu pondered, and when he had pondered he rose from his giant throne and reached down with a tentacle to pluck the woman from their grasp. He tore her soul in half and gave half to each of the cultists. Then he ate them all. Everyone else who was at court agreed that this was wisdom indeed.
This Too Will Pass
There is a story that once, Great Cthulhu was feeling rather green around the gills. Tired of the constant changing of emotions--greed to complacency, hunger to satiation--Cthulhu looked to his advisors and said "Bring me one item that will make me complacent when I am greedy, satiated when I am hungry, and all that rot."
His advisors cloistered themselves for days in an attempt to figure out what item would make their lord happy. Eventually they returned with just one small item, a ring bearing the inscription, "This Too Will Pass."
Great Cthulhu recognised the wisdom of his advisors, so he ate all their souls.