(no subject)
Funny, how I still expect her to be there. Just out of sight behind that pillar, hiding without meaning to. And in a minute, she'll shift just slightly and I'll see a shadow, or a wisp of hair and know she still exists. Happy, breathing, whole. I find myself circling that pillar these days. Thinking that she is just around the other side. And I keep looking. Day after day, I still see her. It's strange to see how we all look for ideals in life. Something as simple as the shape of a daisy, or the outline of a heart. The daisy having 9 perfect petals in a perfect circular shape. White, yellow, green. The heart, perfectly equal on both sides. No one can ever make a perfect heart. Try it. One side will always be different that the other, if only slightly. The edges are never the smooth curve that they are meant to be. It's impossible to be that perfect. And yet the shape of a heart is really much different form what it really is. How come perfection is so far from reality? I suppose that if you were very clever and cut out a heart shape, folded it in here and there, you would get something that resembled a heart. I tried that once. I thought that maybe someone had once tried to explain what the heart looked like and had tried to demonstrate. Everyone perceived it to be the shape of a heart. All just a mistake. A misunderstanding. And yet, a mistake of perfection. For now, we all think of the heart looking, well, like the shape of a heart, not what it in fact looks like. Is everything in life like that? Mistakes being perfection? Perhaps that is what perfection is. A mistake. So many mistakes we make...perhaps that makes everything we do perfect. Perhaps that is what I am looking for. A mistake. A wisp of hair. A shadow. A dream that never was. You know, I think she's smiling.