(no subject)
i'm feeling very lonely these past few days. i have no idea why.
the summer is going ok so far. i guess. i could be busier, but my boss is only giving me a few days a week of work.
i wish it were july already, then i will be able to see Jenn and then go visit casey. i miss them so much.
i think an escape to RI is in order soon as well. i just have to figure out my work schedule. and see if berny and kirill are available for that.
the more i think about it the more i am sad about Chicago.i never really had the chance to be upset about it, but now, in my boredom i think about it all the time. for starters i would be more busy, there would be more at my fingertips to go out and do, and ultimately i would be somewhere new. i love home don't get me wrong, but i seem to forget that i feel claustrophobic here.
i think the thing that is upsetting me the most is the unknown. i am still not 100% positive when i am seeing casey. and when i do see him, after that i most certainly don't know when i will see him next. long distance this summer is so much harder for some reason. i hate it. but its worth it for me. i haven't been sleeping well for the past week or so, and i think its because i'm not next to casey. however corny that sounds, its true. and i can't tell my parents this, because well they wouldn't take it as a legitimate excuse. which is just BS. i want to live with casey next summer. we have seriously talked about it. but i know that my parents will throw a shit fit. and i really hate it. its just so hard for me to not see him everyday. i wish he had a webcam, it would make things a bit easier.
time to stop being emo i guess. Jess's boyfriend is here so i should be social. even though i want nothing more right now than to curl up into a ball and cry.
the summer is going ok so far. i guess. i could be busier, but my boss is only giving me a few days a week of work.
i wish it were july already, then i will be able to see Jenn and then go visit casey. i miss them so much.
i think an escape to RI is in order soon as well. i just have to figure out my work schedule. and see if berny and kirill are available for that.
the more i think about it the more i am sad about Chicago.i never really had the chance to be upset about it, but now, in my boredom i think about it all the time. for starters i would be more busy, there would be more at my fingertips to go out and do, and ultimately i would be somewhere new. i love home don't get me wrong, but i seem to forget that i feel claustrophobic here.
i think the thing that is upsetting me the most is the unknown. i am still not 100% positive when i am seeing casey. and when i do see him, after that i most certainly don't know when i will see him next. long distance this summer is so much harder for some reason. i hate it. but its worth it for me. i haven't been sleeping well for the past week or so, and i think its because i'm not next to casey. however corny that sounds, its true. and i can't tell my parents this, because well they wouldn't take it as a legitimate excuse. which is just BS. i want to live with casey next summer. we have seriously talked about it. but i know that my parents will throw a shit fit. and i really hate it. its just so hard for me to not see him everyday. i wish he had a webcam, it would make things a bit easier.
time to stop being emo i guess. Jess's boyfriend is here so i should be social. even though i want nothing more right now than to curl up into a ball and cry.