never enough

[thestoryistold]

i dont talk to god. he doesn't talk to me.

i saw a pigeon, and thats all.

no feeling, no emotion, no relation to anything.
i related this, to everything, and suddenly, worthlessness overwhelmed

so i tried to look away, or at something, and relate it to something... it didn't work.

i said outloud "this is fucking lame"

i felt eyes on the back of my head, i felt heart flutters and hatred, all of wich, were not mine.

i thought about it, and it would appear, that i was the world that all these fuckers were walking around on.

again, worthlessness, and a need for proof overwhelmed...

i asked someone the time, and they told me... "12:11"

i thought to myself, someone just helped me out... cool

a girl looked my way, and i instantly thought about fucking, except. this being was no one still. she didn't say anything. she didn't do anything. she just looked at me. like i looked at the pigeon. i was turned off.

i was still untouched, and unmoved.

so i chugged a bottle of whiskey and started throwing things at people, and yelling in peoples faces, and cops locked me up, and made me pay a bunch of money...

so i sit here... looking... and seeing...
and i'm thinking about generosity, and gain.
i'm thinking about worth.
i'm thinking about impact, and desire.
i'm thinking about control.
i'm thinking about lonelyness, and i'm thinking about no one in particular at all, and i'm thinking about how that means too much.
i'm thinking about damage. i'm thinking about memory.
i'm thinking about sluts who want to be cocked, for the sake of pleasure.
i'm thinking about pride and passion.
i'm thinking about neglect.
i'm thinking about the movie, vanilla sky.