C-II
I have missed you every day. And longed for you. Even when I was so angry at you. Even when you left. You were gone. Gone. Gone. Gone. Stubborn to your goddamn bones. And not mine any longer. There is a hole that is in the chaos of your name that rests in my stomach, near the top, close to my lungs. Bearing down on me. Making the distances hard to run. Making so much hard. Missing you every morning when I wake, even when I am excited for the day. Even when someone taller and thinner and funnier and more handsome than you wants to see me. I miss you even then. No ones hands fit as you're did on me, no one can grab my hips the way you did and make me shake instead of laugh. Too bad your depression fucked as hard as you did.
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