Fic: It’s Jack’s Wonderful Life
Title: It’s Jack’s Wonderful Life
Author Name: Anonymous
Original Prompt Number: 119
Pairing(s): Jack/Ianto, Owen/Suzie, Gwen/Rhys, John/Suzie
Summary: Jack wishes he’d never been born…he gets shown the big what if…
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I pay my TV Licence, does that count? Nope, then they belong to the BBC!
Warnings: Contains m/m consensual sex, (non-graphic) rape and lots of (character) death
Word Count: 4813
Author's Notes: This gets dark but please trust me, there will be happy ending, it’s A Wonderful Life after all! (and if you haven’t seen the film - do!) Thanks to my beta’s M and A for your help.
Jack wants to die. Of course, after about 1500 deaths he’s gotten the message that he’s the man who can never die. That doesn’t stop him wondering on days like these whether it would have been better if he hadn’t been born. He is surrounded by death, even his ‘improved’ Torchwood means death. Tosh and Owen had died after he’d recruited them. Ianto had heard dead comrades and lovers, had been a victim because of him. Ianto and Gwen would die young, everyone at Torchwood did. Death followed Jack, no-one escaped, only him.
Standing on the invisible lift Jack contemplates where to tackle his futile attempt at getting drunk when he sees a Weevil heading towards a group of teenagers on the steps of the Welsh parliament building. Jack knows he should intercept him, but he really doesn’t want to. That means he is too late. One of the teenagers, a boy of maybe 13, is dead when he gets there. Jack sees the gushing blood, pulls his Webley and kills the Weevil, throwing the body into the bay. He calls Gwen on his mobile with a terse: “Up by the steps you’ll find a body, killed by a Weevil, clean it up.” Not giving her time to reply, he walks off, throwing up. That boy had been too young to be out in the darkness alone.
When Jack sees Gwen and Ianto approach the corpse, he runs off, unable to face them. Not looking where he is going, he barrels into the TARDIS. Stunned he looks at the blue wooden door, wondering what it is doing in his way. When the door opens he receives an even bigger shock. Not only is the Doctor standing there, arms crossed, looking at him but also Faith. He’s never seen her outside a drinking hole and he isn’t really in the mood for her cards. And what does the Doctor want with her? Or should the question be, what does she want with the Doctor? Faith was about as fixed in time as Jack and he knows what the Doctor thinks of that. The man Jack loves thinks he is WRONG, an impossible thing, best left behind, a distracting toy for the enemy whilst the real companion does the work, a gun that can be picked up and dropped when finished with.
Faith looks at him, with compassion in her eyes but also a steely determination. It is frightening to see that look on a girl who looks no older than 13. The same age as the boy he’s just let die.
“Captain, your wish has been granted. You will see how this universe is without you. You will not be able to interfere. You will merely observe. The Doctor and his TARDIS will be your guides, they also are only observers.”
Jack looks down on the floor, idly wondering what the Doctor had done to deserve this, having to spend time in Jack’s presence. He knows that was not how he usually acted, he usually went in feet first, on instinct but he felt as if his head had been wrapped in candy floss. He smiles bitterly, remembering the flight to Switzerland when Ianto had compared clouds to candy floss. He’d run away from Ianto again without saying goodbye. This just proved how little he was needed, all he does is inflict pain.
He feels a hand on his shoulder, “Allons-y, we have some travelling to do, you and I.”
“How can you be so cheerful? And where is Faith? Why are you doing this?” Jack sounds whiney, again not his usual self but then he is having a breakdown, isn’t he?
“Oh, I have my reasons, they are none of your business, but Donna would want me to.”
Jack nods, not really comprehending, he’d only met Donna once and then the DoctorDonna had vanished from their lives again.
*****
Their first stop is on a beach. Jack recognises it immediately, he was back in Boeshane. For a moment he savours the fresh air, the sound of the seagulls, smells the salt. He sees Gray playing with their father and two older boys. Jack recognises one as Adam, the friend he’d pulled along to war and the other is… John?
Then suddenly, an attack from above, swooping monsters and people running everywhere in confusion. “Here, take Gray, keep him safe.” Jack sees John and Gray running off together with Adam, holding hands.
“NOOO!” Jack screams when he sees the hands being pulled apart, John and Adam running on, hiding in a tree further up ahead whilst Gray is swooped up and taken away. He turns to the Doctor: “But why? I thought he’d be safe now. I let go of his hand, it was my fault.” The Doctor shakes his head. “It was meant to happen, some things cannot be changed.”
Silently they walk towards the settlement and Jack’s breath catches when he sees his mother lying over the body of her dead husband. She has killed herself.
“She has no-one, no reason to live on, you weren’t there to comfort her, show her how to go on, keep searching for Gray.”
Jack nods, confused. He’d thought all he’d brought his mom was pain, memories of the lost husband and son. They return to the TARDIS
*****
Jack walks out apprehensively. She has parked on a roof, he is good on roofs. Jack perks up even more when he hears the bombers above.
“Yes, we are back in London, 1941.” The Doctor walks up behind him. “There it is, the Chula Ambulance.” Jack shudders and looks down, seeing his Doctor (leather jacket, funny ears), Rose, Nancy and John trying to resolve this. They were surrounded by people with gas masks and a small child asking: “Are you my mummy?” The Doctor talks to John and John vanishes. Then Nancy takes tentative steps towards the child: “I am your mummy. I am your mummy.”
Jack breathes a sigh of relief when the nanogenes get the message and update everyone to humans again. He sees John above, riding the bomb as he once had, dressed in a large greatcoat. John takes the bomb up to the Chula warship and vanishes and Jack sees The Doctor and Rose return to the TARDIS.
He turns to the Doctor standing next to him who is rubbing his ear. “Why did you show me this? It all worked out, they didn’t need me after all.”
“You’ll see, I’m just the chauffeur.” The Doctor stops rubbing his ear and start walking.
*****
The next stop looks familiar. Jack looks out and sees that they are back in Cardiff. Another TARDIS is parked close to the invisible lift. Jack sees Mickey knocking on the door and is shocked to see John opening the door.
“What?” Jack can’t hide the shock in his voice.
“Well, he’s a good dancer and he took care of that bomb.” The Doctor smiles.
“He’s replaced me.” Jack is incredulous.
“No, you were never born, nobody can have replaced you. Come on, so many visits, so little time.”
*****
Jack swore to himself he’d never go back here, but his chauffeur has other ideas. So there they are, floor 499, observing the Daleks invading. Jack shuffles closer to the Doctor, he can still feel the hit of the beam. He knows they can’t see him, he is only here to observe but it doesn’t lessen the terror he feels when he hears: “Exterminate!”
Once again it is John who mirrors his actions, standing up to the Daleks, giving the Doctor a chance. Jack jumps when he sees the Daleks kill John, leaving him dead. Would Rose bring him back to life too?
Yes! Now his most hated enemy is under the same curse as Jack. It should feel better, shouldn’t it? Knowing the suffering John would endure, seeing lovers and friends die over the centuries, living a lonely life.
Without a look back Jack goes back to their TARDIS, he can’t wait to get out of here.
*****
The next stops are short:
John catching the Blowfish, executing him when Alice tells him to.
John with the circus travellers, killing himself on stage as the man who can’t die. Finding the Night Travellers and instead of bringing them in, joining them for a time, enjoying the carnage they leave behind.
John freelancing for Torchwood, enjoying himself, enjoying the power the name Torchwood carries.
John having affairs, treating his lovers as if they are a perk of the job.
Alex opening that pendant, seeing the changes of the 21st Century. John inheriting Torchwood 3, rebuilding it in his image.
John killing the rift returnees because they are too much work. ‘The odd kill, who does it hurt?’
*****
John recruits Suzie first. They are a good match. Any moral boundaries Suzie has crumble under the twin temptations of John’s flirting and the power the ‘shit’ from other planets brings.
Oh, she resists valiantly, sleeping first with Owen instead when he joins up. It doesn’t matter to her that Owen is still broken by the death of his fiancée Katie, no, he is a weapon to be used in her small war with John. She’s won this battle.
Toshiko joins after Owen, but as she’s been in isolation for so much longer, she is broken too, desperate for any scraps of affection and physical touch she can get. She is easy pickings for a man with 51st Century pheromones and the morals of an alley cat.
Eventually John and Suzie leave their pawns behind and start their affair, making Toshiko and Owen feel invisible, which to John and Suzie they are. They just count as workers, slaves, tied to Torchwood, knowing that walking out does mean death. John hates using retcon, apparently dead bodies are easier to deal with.
When the Cybermen invade Canary Wharf and are defeated, John sends Suzie and Owen to retrieve the technology. They come back with the parts of a whole conversion unit which John stores in one of the cellars for future use.
Jack looks at the Doctor incredulously. “He kept that? Why? Doesn’t he know what it does?”
“Why do you care? You aren’t affected.” The Doctor’s voice is deceptively calm.
“This is not what my Torchwood should be like.” Jack tries again, he is horrified.
“Your Torchwood? You don’t exist. Come on, we still have things to see.”
*****
Suddenly they stand outside the Tourist Information Office. Jack sighs, Ianto does look cute even if he isn’t wearing a suit. He remembers a Weevil fight and catching a pteradactyl, being caught by Ianto when he falls.
When John comes out, Ianto presents him with a coffee, entreating him to give him a job at Torchwood Three.
The Doctor has to hold Jack back hard when John coolly pulls out a gun and shoots Ianto in the head. Calmly John picks up Ianto’s keys, kicks the body in the bay and walks off. Jack continues screaming when he sees Suzie and John carry an unconscious Lisa into the Hub.
*****
Gwen gets retconned as they don’t want to alert the police further to Suzie’s experiment with the glove and knife. This time she stays unknowing, never learning about aliens, never fighting for her planet. She marries Rhys, goes to work, has two weeks holiday a year in Spain and gets pregnant. She has a normal life.
Jack turns to the Doctor, actually relieved to see something positive: “This is good, she’s safe.” A sad smile around his mouth and thinking of Donna, the Doctor replies: “She’s missing her potential.”
*****
John, Diane and Emma arrive at the airport, lost 55 years out of time where they are greeted by Owen, Suzie and Tosh.
Jack sees Owen fall in love, becoming stronger for the first time since his affair with Suzie. When Diane leaves on her plane without him Owen breaks down again. Nobody cares.
Tosh tries to look after Emma, totally at a loss on how to explain dating to an innocent. When Emma moves to London for her new job she ends up getting raped on her first night out and becomes pregnant. After an abortion Emma sinks into depression and kills herself with sleeping tablets. Toshiko is distraught. Nobody cares.
Suzie can’t really be bothered with John, she’s too busy shagging her Captain. This means that John is all alone when he takes his life in her car. Nobody cares.
*****
John and Toshiko end up in 1941 meeting a Captain Jack Harkness. John, knowing about the restrictions on homosexuality can’t resist, flirting outrageously, making him feel uncomfortable.
The Doctor and Jack look on helplessly when Toshiko gets bullied for being Japanese and see her run out. John doesn’t reassure her, he’s too busy messing with a hero.
When the rift opens John and Toshiko run back, but not without John kissing the Captain painfully on the lips in front of everyone, whispering “faggot” into his ear, taking his pleasure in the pain he’s inflicting.
*****
Jack sees John defeat Abaddon, using the life force he’s been given by Rose. Jack breathes a sigh of relief, waiting for the crushed buildings to return to how they were. But the dead stay dead. Abaddon has destroyed.
They see John return to his lair and leaving his team when he is picked up by a TARDIS.
Jack shudders when he notices that John has no qualms about Harold Saxon/The Master and leaves the Doctor and Martha behind to join his newest best friend. John stands by when the American President is killed, shooting him again just to make sure. Both Jack and the Doctor wince when they see the Doctor being aged. John helps build the Paradox Machine and rejoices at the destruction of Japan.
*****
“OK, Faith, you’ve made your point.” Jack fairly shouts when they are back in the TARDIS. “Let me go back.”
Nothing happens except that the TARDIS powers up and they have to see yet more.
*****
Jack is horrified to see that John has returned to Torchwood after a year that never was and has been accepted back without qualms after not explaining anything. John is the boss and whoever doesn’t obey, dies.
*****
Jack grabs the Doctor when he sees Gray pulling the stunt with the Arcadian Diamond. It’s heaven and hell to see his younger brother. Owen has the same clever idea again and injects Gray with the mixed bloods of Torchwood, confusing the disk.
And so it continues, John running Torchwood, defeating Cell 114 and taking charge of the nuclear weapons, threatening anyone who defies him now.
Waking up Tommy, keeping him locked up in a cell. Tosh tries to communicate with him but only gets a slap from John for her efforts. John takes Tommy to St Teilo’s and sends him back with the key and the word “coward”. Then John is in his head, telling him to do it or he would be shot now, a coward to his king and country. John wins again.
Jack grimaces when they stand in the warehouse with the space whale. He remembers the smell. Toshiko’s compassionate “We could feed the world” is shot down by Owen with a sarcastic: “And we could release a single.” Owen has tried to regain a foothold with Suzie and bashing Tosh seems one way to get into her good books. It works, he even gets a small cut of the money they plan to make. Owen overdoses the whale on sedatives and it dies. When he tells Toshiko she hugs him in a CCTV black spot. If the others knew it had been on purpose, Owen would not be alive for much longer.
Murders lead the team to The Pharm. Suzie infiltrates the offices and takes over the computer system. John and Alan Copley have a heart to heart, sharing memories of their dearly missed Master. When John offers to help procure new aliens for research Owen complains, loudly. He may be weak, he may have been broken, but he is still a doctor who believes in the oath he has taken. First do no harm. And he’s done a lot of harm already!
The Doctor has to hold Jack back yet again when Dr. Copley, on a nod from John, shoots Owen straight in the heart. Jack averts his eyes when the body is taken to the morgue, no autopsy required, everyone knows how and why he’s dead.
Then Gray comes back, having had his revenge on Adam. He’s first taken over and then killed Adam’s family, in front of Adam, making him watch. Then he’s killed Adam, slowly, enjoying the pain he’s inflicting, because it is the only thing that makes him feel.
But John is prepared. He knows how powerless Gray felt as a prisoner, so he gives Gray power. He showers him with gifts: Ten nuclear warheads, poison, a Cyberwoman. It works. Ten warheads destroy the capital cities of all other nuclear powers, no warning, no retaliation possible. Gray takes Suzie and Toshiko as prisoners, trying out paralysing lip gloss on Tosh.
Jack has to close his eyes and stop himself from throwing up when he sees Tosh being raped, lying helpless on the floor, a plaything for a madman, his brother. It comes as a relief when her organs die after two hours of being used and abused.
Then comes the greatest gift. They watch Lisa convert Suzie to a Cyberwoman with the loss of all emotions. Gray and John follow suit. A new age of Cybermen is started right there in the Hub. They unleash four Cybermen onto a weakened world. Gray is the master of Earth inside two months. He takes over every single continent, converting or deleting as he wishes. He has no emotions, no fear, no guilt…
They build space ships and start taking over the galaxy. The 21st Century is when it everything changes….
*****
The Doctor looks at Jack, crying in the corner, devastated by what he’s seen. He would have liked to stop, but there was more. He is not allowed to be compassionate, not yet. Jack looks up, devastation in his eyes, when the TARDIS moves.
“I can’t do this, I want to go back.” He whispers, disconsolately.
“We aren’t finished.” The voice reminds Jack that the Doctor has another name, The Oncoming Storm. It is this alien that he sees, not the compassionate saviour he loves.
*****
Jack has regained some composure when they land, which he promptly loses again when he sees that he is on the Game Station again, although it looks different. They are surrounded by people, a busy market serving lunch. The Doctor leads him to a screen labelled Bad Wolf TV.
“This is Satellite 5 and there is a news item you need to see.”
“You’ve taken me goddess knows when for news?” Jack does not understand. He looks at the screen and after some jiggery pokery by the Doctor they can hear the newscaster speaking over the picture of a head.
“It is hereby confirmed that Boekind is extinct. The Face of Boe died last night, leaving no offspring. The wisdom and knowledge kept by this species is now lost for all time.”
Jack looks confused and turns to the Doctor: “What has that got to do with me?”
“Everything, poster boy,“ comes an emotionless response. “What did you say they called you in Boeshane, poster boy? You told me and Martha before you went back, Face of Boe. This has to do with you.”
Jack just looks stunned, this was not exactly the answer he’d been expecting when he’d posed his question to the Doctor on the Plass about his body and aging, so long ago.
“A head? A head in jar? Martha would have a field day.” Jack resorts to humour while trying to organise his emotions and thoughts.
“Oh, she loved him. Off we go, we aren’t finished yet. Get a move on, Allons-y.”
Jack follows meekly.
*****
The TARDIS stops outside a large building with a green crescent moon. When they walk out Jack can smell apple grass, which is weird because he isn’t part of the environment, only observing. They walk into the hospital and Jack is led to Ward 26, thankful to be unaffected by the disinfection system in the lift. The Doctor leads him past the Duke of Manhattan to a hidden door. Jack retches when he sees what is being done to the human guinea pigs.
“I don’t stop this, because the Face of Boe doesn’t call me. They carry on suffering for years and then they all die.”
“Why? Why me?” Jack still doesn’t understand. They return to the Tardis, they do not want to linger in this atmosphere of death and pain.
Suddenly they are in another room, cavernous with a large window. When Jack looks out he sees a skyline but no movements, no cars.
“New Earth died, New New York died. They invented an emotion patch, Bliss. It mutated and everyone died. The whole city died in 15 minutes. There was no-one to keep the Undercity locked and safe. The Face of Boe was not here to save them.”
*****
Jack collapses in a heap. Death, death was everywhere. And apparently him not being alive didn’t make it better, even made things worse. Jack looks back over the journey with the Doctor. He’d always thought that he was the cause of death around him, that his inability to die was a curse. Oh, it still was, losing people he loves is horrible, will always be horrible.
But now he knows and now the Doctor knows. Jack is not an accident, he is not a freak, he may be a fixed point in time, but he is needed. He isn’t wrong. Rose may have made a mistake, but somehow it wasn’t one.
“Take me home, Doctor, I want to go home.” Steely determination shines from Jack’s eyes.
“Ok.”
“You what?”
“Ok, we’re done, you are going home. You won’t remember anything of your future but you will remember that you are needed. But I will remember and I’m sorry.”
Now Jack is convinced he is having a breakdown. The Doctor never apologises. He feels himself being pulled into a hug.
“Now I know why I was sent with you. Not just for Donna, and she LIKED you, but for me. As you’d said, I’ve been prejudiced. You matter, you may be a fixed point in time and space, but you are my fixed point in time and space. You are not wrong and I’m sorry I let you think that. Let’s get you home.”
Jack nods, speechless for once. He just holds on tight to his Doctor.
*****
When Jack sees Gwen and Ianto approach the corpse of the teenage boy, he stays behind, looking on. Gwen checks the pulse and grabs her phone, dialling for an ambulance whilst frantically trying to stop the blood flow. When the ambulance arrives, the paramedics deal with him, taking him to hospital.
Jack approaches cautiously. The boy had been dead, he was sure. Gwen goes with the ambulance, leaving Ianto behind to clean up the blood and deal with any witnesses. Fortunately the ‘friends’ of the injured boy had run off and Gwen would debunk their stories of a monster with sharp teeth by claiming a wild animal must have attacked them. Even after all this time it was amazing that people believed this cover story, but Torchwood was grateful it meant they knew what to say.
Jack helps Ianto silently, after his trip with the Doctor he doesn’t know what to say, there is a lot running round in his head he could never say.
“I knew this boy was dead, now he isn’t. I’ve been away, I left you without saying good bye, despite my promise. I thought you were better off without me. I’m going to die for good one day after all, no idea when that will be. The Doctor came, showed me a Universe without me. It was awful, so much death.”
The shocked look on Ianto’s face tells Jack he must have muttered it out loud.
“Not sure what that was all about, but I will never be better off without you.” Ianto’s soft Welsh accent hides a core of steel. “You said you had come back for me, was that a lie?”
“No, never.” Jack is getting frantic, “but I thought you would have a normal life without me, no more danger, death or ghosts. I want to protect you.”
Ianto looks at Jack with exasperation etched in his face: “For a man your age you can be quite dense sometimes, Cariad. I don’t want to be protected. I love… whatever it is we have. I’m 25 years old, you have trained me, give us some credit.”
“Yes, you are 25 years old and I’m over 2150. I’ve seen so much death, destruction, wars. And you have seen so much death and pain and with me that’s all you are going to get. Torchwood will not let you go. I don’t want to let you go.”
“And I can’t let you go. Don’t you get it? When I accepted that date, I chose you. I chose to love again, for us to have a small measure of happiness because I know one day I will have to leave you for good. And you are right, working for Torchwood I will likely die early. But I will have lived. I’ve stopped surviving. I live. You have given me that. You have given that to Tosh. You have given that to Gwen. You have given that to Owen and you will give it to whoever else gets recruited.”
Looking into Ianto’s eyes Jack sees the sincerity and only knows one way to respond. He kisses Ianto, gentle at first.
“We’re finished, Cariad, let’s go home.” Ianto whispers into Jack’s mouth. In unison they pick up the rest of the cleaning materials and take them to the SUV. Ianto drives it to the underground garage and they enter the Hub.
This time the kiss is not so gentle and Ianto feels himself pushed against the wall, Jack’s hands roaming his body. “Are you sure?” Jack can’t help asking, in his mind he still sees Ianto’s body hit the water.
“I’m sure, Cariad.” Ianto’s voice is firm. “I’ve always been sure.”
Jack pulls Ianto to his office and down to his quarters. Clothes litter their way and for once Ianto doesn’t care. He’s got Jack in his arms, a naked Jack. Not just physically, but it feels that he’s seen the real Jack just now. Ianto doesn’t know where it comes from but he knows what to do. This has to be about Jack, showing him in a manner he understands that Ianto loves him. There he’s admitted it to himself.
Gently he gets Jack to lie down. “Relax, I’m here.”
Jack’s naked body is magnificent and his erection juts up proudly. Ianto ignores it, instead kneeling next to Jack and kissing him gently, using his hands to caress the neck of his lover. Gently he moves his hands down Jack’s chest, reassuring him that he is here. When he gets to the nipples his hands are joined by his mouth and tongue, swirling. When Jack tries to reciprocate, he is gently but firmly shown that this is for him.
“Later, right now I need to this. You said something about running away, well I need to know that you are here with me.” Ianto whispers and Jack just nods because he doesn’t deserve Ianto’s love but he is through rejecting it.
Ianto continues his journey down Jack’s body, caressing, teasing, kissing, reassuring himself that Jack is here. He moves their bodies closer together, his kisses getting more passionate, moving his tongue in tandem with his hands. Ianto knows where to touch Jack to get a response and when he feels Jack’s patience wane he whispers again: “Do you want to take over, Sir?”
Even before he can breathe in, Ianto feels himself pinned down and kissed passionately, Jack’s hands straying straight to his cock and arse. Ianto pushes himself closer, grabbing the lube on the night table and handing it to Jack. He moans when he feels Jack opening him, a finger where he wants Jack. Two fingers are not good enough either and Ianto makes his displeasure known, well he tries. Jack is not giving him time to breathe, devouring his mouth. When Jack finally enters him, Ianto mewls. He hates it that Jack can make him mewl, but then the pleasure takes over and “Who cares about dignity.”
Jack’s hands move to Ianto’s front, caressing him and Ianto hears a whisper in his ear: “Home.”
Author Name: Anonymous
Original Prompt Number: 119
Pairing(s): Jack/Ianto, Owen/Suzie, Gwen/Rhys, John/Suzie
Summary: Jack wishes he’d never been born…he gets shown the big what if…
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I pay my TV Licence, does that count? Nope, then they belong to the BBC!
Warnings: Contains m/m consensual sex, (non-graphic) rape and lots of (character) death
Word Count: 4813
Author's Notes: This gets dark but please trust me, there will be happy ending, it’s A Wonderful Life after all! (and if you haven’t seen the film - do!) Thanks to my beta’s M and A for your help.
Jack wants to die. Of course, after about 1500 deaths he’s gotten the message that he’s the man who can never die. That doesn’t stop him wondering on days like these whether it would have been better if he hadn’t been born. He is surrounded by death, even his ‘improved’ Torchwood means death. Tosh and Owen had died after he’d recruited them. Ianto had heard dead comrades and lovers, had been a victim because of him. Ianto and Gwen would die young, everyone at Torchwood did. Death followed Jack, no-one escaped, only him.
Standing on the invisible lift Jack contemplates where to tackle his futile attempt at getting drunk when he sees a Weevil heading towards a group of teenagers on the steps of the Welsh parliament building. Jack knows he should intercept him, but he really doesn’t want to. That means he is too late. One of the teenagers, a boy of maybe 13, is dead when he gets there. Jack sees the gushing blood, pulls his Webley and kills the Weevil, throwing the body into the bay. He calls Gwen on his mobile with a terse: “Up by the steps you’ll find a body, killed by a Weevil, clean it up.” Not giving her time to reply, he walks off, throwing up. That boy had been too young to be out in the darkness alone.
When Jack sees Gwen and Ianto approach the corpse, he runs off, unable to face them. Not looking where he is going, he barrels into the TARDIS. Stunned he looks at the blue wooden door, wondering what it is doing in his way. When the door opens he receives an even bigger shock. Not only is the Doctor standing there, arms crossed, looking at him but also Faith. He’s never seen her outside a drinking hole and he isn’t really in the mood for her cards. And what does the Doctor want with her? Or should the question be, what does she want with the Doctor? Faith was about as fixed in time as Jack and he knows what the Doctor thinks of that. The man Jack loves thinks he is WRONG, an impossible thing, best left behind, a distracting toy for the enemy whilst the real companion does the work, a gun that can be picked up and dropped when finished with.
Faith looks at him, with compassion in her eyes but also a steely determination. It is frightening to see that look on a girl who looks no older than 13. The same age as the boy he’s just let die.
“Captain, your wish has been granted. You will see how this universe is without you. You will not be able to interfere. You will merely observe. The Doctor and his TARDIS will be your guides, they also are only observers.”
Jack looks down on the floor, idly wondering what the Doctor had done to deserve this, having to spend time in Jack’s presence. He knows that was not how he usually acted, he usually went in feet first, on instinct but he felt as if his head had been wrapped in candy floss. He smiles bitterly, remembering the flight to Switzerland when Ianto had compared clouds to candy floss. He’d run away from Ianto again without saying goodbye. This just proved how little he was needed, all he does is inflict pain.
He feels a hand on his shoulder, “Allons-y, we have some travelling to do, you and I.”
“How can you be so cheerful? And where is Faith? Why are you doing this?” Jack sounds whiney, again not his usual self but then he is having a breakdown, isn’t he?
“Oh, I have my reasons, they are none of your business, but Donna would want me to.”
Jack nods, not really comprehending, he’d only met Donna once and then the DoctorDonna had vanished from their lives again.
*****
Their first stop is on a beach. Jack recognises it immediately, he was back in Boeshane. For a moment he savours the fresh air, the sound of the seagulls, smells the salt. He sees Gray playing with their father and two older boys. Jack recognises one as Adam, the friend he’d pulled along to war and the other is… John?
Then suddenly, an attack from above, swooping monsters and people running everywhere in confusion. “Here, take Gray, keep him safe.” Jack sees John and Gray running off together with Adam, holding hands.
“NOOO!” Jack screams when he sees the hands being pulled apart, John and Adam running on, hiding in a tree further up ahead whilst Gray is swooped up and taken away. He turns to the Doctor: “But why? I thought he’d be safe now. I let go of his hand, it was my fault.” The Doctor shakes his head. “It was meant to happen, some things cannot be changed.”
Silently they walk towards the settlement and Jack’s breath catches when he sees his mother lying over the body of her dead husband. She has killed herself.
“She has no-one, no reason to live on, you weren’t there to comfort her, show her how to go on, keep searching for Gray.”
Jack nods, confused. He’d thought all he’d brought his mom was pain, memories of the lost husband and son. They return to the TARDIS
*****
Jack walks out apprehensively. She has parked on a roof, he is good on roofs. Jack perks up even more when he hears the bombers above.
“Yes, we are back in London, 1941.” The Doctor walks up behind him. “There it is, the Chula Ambulance.” Jack shudders and looks down, seeing his Doctor (leather jacket, funny ears), Rose, Nancy and John trying to resolve this. They were surrounded by people with gas masks and a small child asking: “Are you my mummy?” The Doctor talks to John and John vanishes. Then Nancy takes tentative steps towards the child: “I am your mummy. I am your mummy.”
Jack breathes a sigh of relief when the nanogenes get the message and update everyone to humans again. He sees John above, riding the bomb as he once had, dressed in a large greatcoat. John takes the bomb up to the Chula warship and vanishes and Jack sees The Doctor and Rose return to the TARDIS.
He turns to the Doctor standing next to him who is rubbing his ear. “Why did you show me this? It all worked out, they didn’t need me after all.”
“You’ll see, I’m just the chauffeur.” The Doctor stops rubbing his ear and start walking.
*****
The next stop looks familiar. Jack looks out and sees that they are back in Cardiff. Another TARDIS is parked close to the invisible lift. Jack sees Mickey knocking on the door and is shocked to see John opening the door.
“What?” Jack can’t hide the shock in his voice.
“Well, he’s a good dancer and he took care of that bomb.” The Doctor smiles.
“He’s replaced me.” Jack is incredulous.
“No, you were never born, nobody can have replaced you. Come on, so many visits, so little time.”
*****
Jack swore to himself he’d never go back here, but his chauffeur has other ideas. So there they are, floor 499, observing the Daleks invading. Jack shuffles closer to the Doctor, he can still feel the hit of the beam. He knows they can’t see him, he is only here to observe but it doesn’t lessen the terror he feels when he hears: “Exterminate!”
Once again it is John who mirrors his actions, standing up to the Daleks, giving the Doctor a chance. Jack jumps when he sees the Daleks kill John, leaving him dead. Would Rose bring him back to life too?
Yes! Now his most hated enemy is under the same curse as Jack. It should feel better, shouldn’t it? Knowing the suffering John would endure, seeing lovers and friends die over the centuries, living a lonely life.
Without a look back Jack goes back to their TARDIS, he can’t wait to get out of here.
*****
The next stops are short:
John catching the Blowfish, executing him when Alice tells him to.
John with the circus travellers, killing himself on stage as the man who can’t die. Finding the Night Travellers and instead of bringing them in, joining them for a time, enjoying the carnage they leave behind.
John freelancing for Torchwood, enjoying himself, enjoying the power the name Torchwood carries.
John having affairs, treating his lovers as if they are a perk of the job.
Alex opening that pendant, seeing the changes of the 21st Century. John inheriting Torchwood 3, rebuilding it in his image.
John killing the rift returnees because they are too much work. ‘The odd kill, who does it hurt?’
*****
John recruits Suzie first. They are a good match. Any moral boundaries Suzie has crumble under the twin temptations of John’s flirting and the power the ‘shit’ from other planets brings.
Oh, she resists valiantly, sleeping first with Owen instead when he joins up. It doesn’t matter to her that Owen is still broken by the death of his fiancée Katie, no, he is a weapon to be used in her small war with John. She’s won this battle.
Toshiko joins after Owen, but as she’s been in isolation for so much longer, she is broken too, desperate for any scraps of affection and physical touch she can get. She is easy pickings for a man with 51st Century pheromones and the morals of an alley cat.
Eventually John and Suzie leave their pawns behind and start their affair, making Toshiko and Owen feel invisible, which to John and Suzie they are. They just count as workers, slaves, tied to Torchwood, knowing that walking out does mean death. John hates using retcon, apparently dead bodies are easier to deal with.
When the Cybermen invade Canary Wharf and are defeated, John sends Suzie and Owen to retrieve the technology. They come back with the parts of a whole conversion unit which John stores in one of the cellars for future use.
Jack looks at the Doctor incredulously. “He kept that? Why? Doesn’t he know what it does?”
“Why do you care? You aren’t affected.” The Doctor’s voice is deceptively calm.
“This is not what my Torchwood should be like.” Jack tries again, he is horrified.
“Your Torchwood? You don’t exist. Come on, we still have things to see.”
*****
Suddenly they stand outside the Tourist Information Office. Jack sighs, Ianto does look cute even if he isn’t wearing a suit. He remembers a Weevil fight and catching a pteradactyl, being caught by Ianto when he falls.
When John comes out, Ianto presents him with a coffee, entreating him to give him a job at Torchwood Three.
The Doctor has to hold Jack back hard when John coolly pulls out a gun and shoots Ianto in the head. Calmly John picks up Ianto’s keys, kicks the body in the bay and walks off. Jack continues screaming when he sees Suzie and John carry an unconscious Lisa into the Hub.
*****
Gwen gets retconned as they don’t want to alert the police further to Suzie’s experiment with the glove and knife. This time she stays unknowing, never learning about aliens, never fighting for her planet. She marries Rhys, goes to work, has two weeks holiday a year in Spain and gets pregnant. She has a normal life.
Jack turns to the Doctor, actually relieved to see something positive: “This is good, she’s safe.” A sad smile around his mouth and thinking of Donna, the Doctor replies: “She’s missing her potential.”
*****
John, Diane and Emma arrive at the airport, lost 55 years out of time where they are greeted by Owen, Suzie and Tosh.
Jack sees Owen fall in love, becoming stronger for the first time since his affair with Suzie. When Diane leaves on her plane without him Owen breaks down again. Nobody cares.
Tosh tries to look after Emma, totally at a loss on how to explain dating to an innocent. When Emma moves to London for her new job she ends up getting raped on her first night out and becomes pregnant. After an abortion Emma sinks into depression and kills herself with sleeping tablets. Toshiko is distraught. Nobody cares.
Suzie can’t really be bothered with John, she’s too busy shagging her Captain. This means that John is all alone when he takes his life in her car. Nobody cares.
*****
John and Toshiko end up in 1941 meeting a Captain Jack Harkness. John, knowing about the restrictions on homosexuality can’t resist, flirting outrageously, making him feel uncomfortable.
The Doctor and Jack look on helplessly when Toshiko gets bullied for being Japanese and see her run out. John doesn’t reassure her, he’s too busy messing with a hero.
When the rift opens John and Toshiko run back, but not without John kissing the Captain painfully on the lips in front of everyone, whispering “faggot” into his ear, taking his pleasure in the pain he’s inflicting.
*****
Jack sees John defeat Abaddon, using the life force he’s been given by Rose. Jack breathes a sigh of relief, waiting for the crushed buildings to return to how they were. But the dead stay dead. Abaddon has destroyed.
They see John return to his lair and leaving his team when he is picked up by a TARDIS.
Jack shudders when he notices that John has no qualms about Harold Saxon/The Master and leaves the Doctor and Martha behind to join his newest best friend. John stands by when the American President is killed, shooting him again just to make sure. Both Jack and the Doctor wince when they see the Doctor being aged. John helps build the Paradox Machine and rejoices at the destruction of Japan.
*****
“OK, Faith, you’ve made your point.” Jack fairly shouts when they are back in the TARDIS. “Let me go back.”
Nothing happens except that the TARDIS powers up and they have to see yet more.
*****
Jack is horrified to see that John has returned to Torchwood after a year that never was and has been accepted back without qualms after not explaining anything. John is the boss and whoever doesn’t obey, dies.
*****
Jack grabs the Doctor when he sees Gray pulling the stunt with the Arcadian Diamond. It’s heaven and hell to see his younger brother. Owen has the same clever idea again and injects Gray with the mixed bloods of Torchwood, confusing the disk.
And so it continues, John running Torchwood, defeating Cell 114 and taking charge of the nuclear weapons, threatening anyone who defies him now.
Waking up Tommy, keeping him locked up in a cell. Tosh tries to communicate with him but only gets a slap from John for her efforts. John takes Tommy to St Teilo’s and sends him back with the key and the word “coward”. Then John is in his head, telling him to do it or he would be shot now, a coward to his king and country. John wins again.
Jack grimaces when they stand in the warehouse with the space whale. He remembers the smell. Toshiko’s compassionate “We could feed the world” is shot down by Owen with a sarcastic: “And we could release a single.” Owen has tried to regain a foothold with Suzie and bashing Tosh seems one way to get into her good books. It works, he even gets a small cut of the money they plan to make. Owen overdoses the whale on sedatives and it dies. When he tells Toshiko she hugs him in a CCTV black spot. If the others knew it had been on purpose, Owen would not be alive for much longer.
Murders lead the team to The Pharm. Suzie infiltrates the offices and takes over the computer system. John and Alan Copley have a heart to heart, sharing memories of their dearly missed Master. When John offers to help procure new aliens for research Owen complains, loudly. He may be weak, he may have been broken, but he is still a doctor who believes in the oath he has taken. First do no harm. And he’s done a lot of harm already!
The Doctor has to hold Jack back yet again when Dr. Copley, on a nod from John, shoots Owen straight in the heart. Jack averts his eyes when the body is taken to the morgue, no autopsy required, everyone knows how and why he’s dead.
Then Gray comes back, having had his revenge on Adam. He’s first taken over and then killed Adam’s family, in front of Adam, making him watch. Then he’s killed Adam, slowly, enjoying the pain he’s inflicting, because it is the only thing that makes him feel.
But John is prepared. He knows how powerless Gray felt as a prisoner, so he gives Gray power. He showers him with gifts: Ten nuclear warheads, poison, a Cyberwoman. It works. Ten warheads destroy the capital cities of all other nuclear powers, no warning, no retaliation possible. Gray takes Suzie and Toshiko as prisoners, trying out paralysing lip gloss on Tosh.
Jack has to close his eyes and stop himself from throwing up when he sees Tosh being raped, lying helpless on the floor, a plaything for a madman, his brother. It comes as a relief when her organs die after two hours of being used and abused.
Then comes the greatest gift. They watch Lisa convert Suzie to a Cyberwoman with the loss of all emotions. Gray and John follow suit. A new age of Cybermen is started right there in the Hub. They unleash four Cybermen onto a weakened world. Gray is the master of Earth inside two months. He takes over every single continent, converting or deleting as he wishes. He has no emotions, no fear, no guilt…
They build space ships and start taking over the galaxy. The 21st Century is when it everything changes….
*****
The Doctor looks at Jack, crying in the corner, devastated by what he’s seen. He would have liked to stop, but there was more. He is not allowed to be compassionate, not yet. Jack looks up, devastation in his eyes, when the TARDIS moves.
“I can’t do this, I want to go back.” He whispers, disconsolately.
“We aren’t finished.” The voice reminds Jack that the Doctor has another name, The Oncoming Storm. It is this alien that he sees, not the compassionate saviour he loves.
*****
Jack has regained some composure when they land, which he promptly loses again when he sees that he is on the Game Station again, although it looks different. They are surrounded by people, a busy market serving lunch. The Doctor leads him to a screen labelled Bad Wolf TV.
“This is Satellite 5 and there is a news item you need to see.”
“You’ve taken me goddess knows when for news?” Jack does not understand. He looks at the screen and after some jiggery pokery by the Doctor they can hear the newscaster speaking over the picture of a head.
“It is hereby confirmed that Boekind is extinct. The Face of Boe died last night, leaving no offspring. The wisdom and knowledge kept by this species is now lost for all time.”
Jack looks confused and turns to the Doctor: “What has that got to do with me?”
“Everything, poster boy,“ comes an emotionless response. “What did you say they called you in Boeshane, poster boy? You told me and Martha before you went back, Face of Boe. This has to do with you.”
Jack just looks stunned, this was not exactly the answer he’d been expecting when he’d posed his question to the Doctor on the Plass about his body and aging, so long ago.
“A head? A head in jar? Martha would have a field day.” Jack resorts to humour while trying to organise his emotions and thoughts.
“Oh, she loved him. Off we go, we aren’t finished yet. Get a move on, Allons-y.”
Jack follows meekly.
*****
The TARDIS stops outside a large building with a green crescent moon. When they walk out Jack can smell apple grass, which is weird because he isn’t part of the environment, only observing. They walk into the hospital and Jack is led to Ward 26, thankful to be unaffected by the disinfection system in the lift. The Doctor leads him past the Duke of Manhattan to a hidden door. Jack retches when he sees what is being done to the human guinea pigs.
“I don’t stop this, because the Face of Boe doesn’t call me. They carry on suffering for years and then they all die.”
“Why? Why me?” Jack still doesn’t understand. They return to the Tardis, they do not want to linger in this atmosphere of death and pain.
Suddenly they are in another room, cavernous with a large window. When Jack looks out he sees a skyline but no movements, no cars.
“New Earth died, New New York died. They invented an emotion patch, Bliss. It mutated and everyone died. The whole city died in 15 minutes. There was no-one to keep the Undercity locked and safe. The Face of Boe was not here to save them.”
*****
Jack collapses in a heap. Death, death was everywhere. And apparently him not being alive didn’t make it better, even made things worse. Jack looks back over the journey with the Doctor. He’d always thought that he was the cause of death around him, that his inability to die was a curse. Oh, it still was, losing people he loves is horrible, will always be horrible.
But now he knows and now the Doctor knows. Jack is not an accident, he is not a freak, he may be a fixed point in time, but he is needed. He isn’t wrong. Rose may have made a mistake, but somehow it wasn’t one.
“Take me home, Doctor, I want to go home.” Steely determination shines from Jack’s eyes.
“Ok.”
“You what?”
“Ok, we’re done, you are going home. You won’t remember anything of your future but you will remember that you are needed. But I will remember and I’m sorry.”
Now Jack is convinced he is having a breakdown. The Doctor never apologises. He feels himself being pulled into a hug.
“Now I know why I was sent with you. Not just for Donna, and she LIKED you, but for me. As you’d said, I’ve been prejudiced. You matter, you may be a fixed point in time and space, but you are my fixed point in time and space. You are not wrong and I’m sorry I let you think that. Let’s get you home.”
Jack nods, speechless for once. He just holds on tight to his Doctor.
*****
When Jack sees Gwen and Ianto approach the corpse of the teenage boy, he stays behind, looking on. Gwen checks the pulse and grabs her phone, dialling for an ambulance whilst frantically trying to stop the blood flow. When the ambulance arrives, the paramedics deal with him, taking him to hospital.
Jack approaches cautiously. The boy had been dead, he was sure. Gwen goes with the ambulance, leaving Ianto behind to clean up the blood and deal with any witnesses. Fortunately the ‘friends’ of the injured boy had run off and Gwen would debunk their stories of a monster with sharp teeth by claiming a wild animal must have attacked them. Even after all this time it was amazing that people believed this cover story, but Torchwood was grateful it meant they knew what to say.
Jack helps Ianto silently, after his trip with the Doctor he doesn’t know what to say, there is a lot running round in his head he could never say.
“I knew this boy was dead, now he isn’t. I’ve been away, I left you without saying good bye, despite my promise. I thought you were better off without me. I’m going to die for good one day after all, no idea when that will be. The Doctor came, showed me a Universe without me. It was awful, so much death.”
The shocked look on Ianto’s face tells Jack he must have muttered it out loud.
“Not sure what that was all about, but I will never be better off without you.” Ianto’s soft Welsh accent hides a core of steel. “You said you had come back for me, was that a lie?”
“No, never.” Jack is getting frantic, “but I thought you would have a normal life without me, no more danger, death or ghosts. I want to protect you.”
Ianto looks at Jack with exasperation etched in his face: “For a man your age you can be quite dense sometimes, Cariad. I don’t want to be protected. I love… whatever it is we have. I’m 25 years old, you have trained me, give us some credit.”
“Yes, you are 25 years old and I’m over 2150. I’ve seen so much death, destruction, wars. And you have seen so much death and pain and with me that’s all you are going to get. Torchwood will not let you go. I don’t want to let you go.”
“And I can’t let you go. Don’t you get it? When I accepted that date, I chose you. I chose to love again, for us to have a small measure of happiness because I know one day I will have to leave you for good. And you are right, working for Torchwood I will likely die early. But I will have lived. I’ve stopped surviving. I live. You have given me that. You have given that to Tosh. You have given that to Gwen. You have given that to Owen and you will give it to whoever else gets recruited.”
Looking into Ianto’s eyes Jack sees the sincerity and only knows one way to respond. He kisses Ianto, gentle at first.
“We’re finished, Cariad, let’s go home.” Ianto whispers into Jack’s mouth. In unison they pick up the rest of the cleaning materials and take them to the SUV. Ianto drives it to the underground garage and they enter the Hub.
This time the kiss is not so gentle and Ianto feels himself pushed against the wall, Jack’s hands roaming his body. “Are you sure?” Jack can’t help asking, in his mind he still sees Ianto’s body hit the water.
“I’m sure, Cariad.” Ianto’s voice is firm. “I’ve always been sure.”
Jack pulls Ianto to his office and down to his quarters. Clothes litter their way and for once Ianto doesn’t care. He’s got Jack in his arms, a naked Jack. Not just physically, but it feels that he’s seen the real Jack just now. Ianto doesn’t know where it comes from but he knows what to do. This has to be about Jack, showing him in a manner he understands that Ianto loves him. There he’s admitted it to himself.
Gently he gets Jack to lie down. “Relax, I’m here.”
Jack’s naked body is magnificent and his erection juts up proudly. Ianto ignores it, instead kneeling next to Jack and kissing him gently, using his hands to caress the neck of his lover. Gently he moves his hands down Jack’s chest, reassuring him that he is here. When he gets to the nipples his hands are joined by his mouth and tongue, swirling. When Jack tries to reciprocate, he is gently but firmly shown that this is for him.
“Later, right now I need to this. You said something about running away, well I need to know that you are here with me.” Ianto whispers and Jack just nods because he doesn’t deserve Ianto’s love but he is through rejecting it.
Ianto continues his journey down Jack’s body, caressing, teasing, kissing, reassuring himself that Jack is here. He moves their bodies closer together, his kisses getting more passionate, moving his tongue in tandem with his hands. Ianto knows where to touch Jack to get a response and when he feels Jack’s patience wane he whispers again: “Do you want to take over, Sir?”
Even before he can breathe in, Ianto feels himself pinned down and kissed passionately, Jack’s hands straying straight to his cock and arse. Ianto pushes himself closer, grabbing the lube on the night table and handing it to Jack. He moans when he feels Jack opening him, a finger where he wants Jack. Two fingers are not good enough either and Ianto makes his displeasure known, well he tries. Jack is not giving him time to breathe, devouring his mouth. When Jack finally enters him, Ianto mewls. He hates it that Jack can make him mewl, but then the pleasure takes over and “Who cares about dignity.”
Jack’s hands move to Ianto’s front, caressing him and Ianto hears a whisper in his ear: “Home.”