psychic hearts go out to you
Just had two job interviews in the city. A cigar bar that exists in LES is opening another bar in williamsburg where i will be required to wear a black cocktail dress and white pearls to work. I got that one, but it sounds rather bizarre and a little scary, not to mention the fact i will fucking stink all of the time. Then i went to a mass interview for a bunch of hipster bars owned by the same peoples around the LES/East Village/one in Red Hook. I knew one of the girls at the interview from Trash, and afterwards we ran into her with our friend Ronnie and she got phoned while we were talking to be told she had the Red Hook position. I immediately felt shite, and annoyed that they had seemed very bothered by the fact i was married. Apparently I am expected to be "crazy and fun" and flirt with everyone and being married will make me less "crazy and fun". I'm not taking my top off, if that's what you mean. I can't wait for my forms to go through so i can apply for proper fucking jobs where they don't expect me to be a slut.
I'm disheartened by the whole experience. Wondering if i really want to stay here. It's always so easy for me to pack up and leave, but this city really makes you want to try. Try and conquer SOMETHING. There's so much more i want to do here, and if i left i would regret it, as it would feel like quitting this time, it really would. So i'm stuck here, knowing i have to put in tons more effort, knowing i have to get better at manipulating things, and not really sure if i want to in the first place. Ugh, this endless quest to get somewhere, knowing full well that nothing will ever really be enough. And then you have children and die.
haha. See, i'm totally crazy, but maybe not fun?!
I should have told them that.
"well i'm insane, sure, but it depends on your definition of fun."
I think i will apply at more places. I just want a normal fucking job, is that too much to ask for?
Definitely getting pissed tonight.
EDIT: I am such a fricking drama queen. But everyone knows that already. I just got the job with the hipster bars, and i will be filling in shifts at quite a few of them, so i'm going to take all the jobs i've been offered and... i feel better now. So basically ignore all the above. Apart from the getting pissed part. There's always a reason to get pissed, and now it's because i'm working tomorrow, rather than because i'm depressed. whatever. Cheers.
I'm disheartened by the whole experience. Wondering if i really want to stay here. It's always so easy for me to pack up and leave, but this city really makes you want to try. Try and conquer SOMETHING. There's so much more i want to do here, and if i left i would regret it, as it would feel like quitting this time, it really would. So i'm stuck here, knowing i have to put in tons more effort, knowing i have to get better at manipulating things, and not really sure if i want to in the first place. Ugh, this endless quest to get somewhere, knowing full well that nothing will ever really be enough. And then you have children and die.
haha. See, i'm totally crazy, but maybe not fun?!
I should have told them that.
"well i'm insane, sure, but it depends on your definition of fun."
I think i will apply at more places. I just want a normal fucking job, is that too much to ask for?
Definitely getting pissed tonight.
EDIT: I am such a fricking drama queen. But everyone knows that already. I just got the job with the hipster bars, and i will be filling in shifts at quite a few of them, so i'm going to take all the jobs i've been offered and... i feel better now. So basically ignore all the above. Apart from the getting pissed part. There's always a reason to get pissed, and now it's because i'm working tomorrow, rather than because i'm depressed. whatever. Cheers.